Here I am

fraud .. scam ... or con .. or whateva u want to call it.

2012-01-08T14:26:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine kena con for abt 5k worth of money.. I was literally there .. at least for the 2nd where she lost 3k.. It unbelievable .. I can be me .. and it can be anybody.... SO let me share the story at least someone who read might tell their friend and their friend will tell others which might help other ppl as well..
It started when she saw ad pasal hse to rent on Friday. She went to see the house and it was perfectly good with fully furnished and so good. The rent is quite cheap - RM650. Actually there are a few people that interested to see the hse and schedule around the same time. But she come a bit early, so get to see the house first.. ( that what she thought)... She fall in love with it automatically. So she agreed and the owner which claimed to be from KL want the money immediately 3+ 1/2 month deposit & advance rent. He give her the hse key and copy of agreement for her to read. After getting the key, she went out and withdraw money to secure the deal. She passed the money to him ~ RM2000 and they even had a good time chatting. He did give her some advise on various of thing .. and even to ask her to be careful. He asked her to meet again the next day in the hse to check if all the stuff is OK and to sign the agreement. So the next day .. eager to show me the new hse, she asked me to come together.. We met with the guy. He seems to be a decent and nice guy. She give him balance of RM300 to him. While in the hse ... he want to borrow my friend's handphone as his handphone no battery to call his wife. He claimed that his wife doesn't really remember which unit and she the one yg bwk agreement tu.... So she let him use it.. As her password keep on pop-up, she tell him the password as well... While we checking the hse .. we noticed he is gone.. Initially we thought he went to get his wife kat bawah.. After a while and he doesn't show up .. thing get weird. Then we saw a log book that kind of tell the hse is actually a homestay with Malay name as the owner... I call my friend's phone and it has been switch off.. Call the number in the log book and confirm the hse is not his. He just rent it for a day. The real owner of the hse asked us to wait for him. While waiting .. ada sorang lagi budak datang .. and guess what .. he is the second victim.. or should I say the first as he paid to him first. Not sure how many people yg kena lagi.. So we do police report etc ... So end of story.. My friend's phone worth 2.8k and she just bought it for 2 wks.
I tried my best to think and see if anything that he do wrong that we can detect that he was lying and doing the conjob... He kind of smooth .. and I think .. i might fall into his con too.... Emmm the only thing that really wrong is the hse is too good to be truth with RM650 for a fully furnished hse... But again as he from KL.. we kind of give justification for it.
When I see the hse I pretty sure it was a homestay but instead of questioning that .. what i thought ...the business wasn't do well as the place a bit outskirt or he had a hard time maintaining it as his from KL. So he just want a quick and easy way and just rent it to people. Actually i want to question him though .. not because I'm suspicious but because I want to know if homestay really not making money that he want to rent it out instead... Actually there are a few facts that I know but somehow instead of question it .. i make justification and wonder. For example the rent is RM650. For almost the same size of hse, I have to pay bank Rm750.. With the renovation, it should be more. So I wonder how he can afford to give ppl the rent RM650.. But I thought he might buy cash that save him the hassle of bank interest.. and as I saw some flaws in the renovation, I tot he might do his own renovation which will save even further. Maybe that the reason he can rent it for RM650... Dushhhh .. next time I should use my brain better ... and asked question instead of try my hard to figure thing out and dont live in la-la land...
He really smooth in talking and using people weakness to do the conjob... He just make it little bit cheaper than market price and people lines up for it... He make its like the demand is high and make people want to seal the deal as soon as possible.
If you from penang and looking for hse to rent... Please be carefull. His name is steven but I dont think he use the same name again... Dont just being fooled with the good deal that you get. The rules of thumb .. there is no such thing as easy thing .. no rezeki terpijak concept etc.. There is always something hide beneath a good deal... Make sure we do all the precaution.. If thing is not meant for us, it will never be .. Don't rush on something... When we rush we tend to make lots of justification for it..

politic

2011-12-09T17:46:00.001+08:00

recently kat tv all the news pasal umno punya meeting. I really upset to listen theyl meeting the whole day just to prove that the other party was wrong by bitching abt it. don't you think it waste of time. you just justify everything. it will be better if somehow they plan what to do with the country or reflect back what they do good or bad for their previous term with regards of developing country not getting undi and what can be increase n enhanced. watching them talking just make me feel they treat the election as a war and it will end there. there is no responsibility after that. either u win n not abt your country. it really sad n those ppl are leading my country. sometimes I wonder if I be politician will I be same like them? will party more important than country? will money more important than my country. i always had confident issue with myself but looking at them and how they think I'm pretty sure I can do it 200% better. btw I'm not only talking abt umno but all the parti either pas dap or pkr. all same. look at the ceramah tht they have. all talking bad abt the other party. it nonsense to sit for 1 hour to hear ppl bitching other ppl n what we get? maybe their air liur kot or u lucky some refreshment. it sad to see a joker and follow by joker become our leader. I wonder during mahathir time how he handle the meeting. I hope he talking abt something more meaningfull.

facebook

2011-12-05T23:11:00.002+08:00

emmm I think confirm aku one of those yg Facebook addicted. I know every single update of my Facebook friend. browsing their photo and stalking all the updates everyday without missed. .
reading the following article made me paused n think how much Facebook has affected me. I think with Facebook as everyone virtially connected it give me a false illusion of connecting. I don't feel the loneliness. Although it sound good but i think this bad as i just drift apart from god n also real ppl. I make less connection in reality. no more long hours hang out with friends except during my outdoor activities. even while waiting for food we browse the foursquare. less time spend to read normal book apatah al Quran. I decided to stop facebooking for a while but somehow ... it kind of hard to spend a day without typing facebook.com. I keep on want to touch the facebook icon .. haisshhh... yesterday is the first day but i was halfway cheated :p. I have to refrain myself until it does not effect my life anymore...

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/withthedivine/from-facebook-to-gods-book/

maal hijrah

2011-11-27T18:05:00.002+08:00

it has been a normal routine for malaysian to celebrate the coming of new year with doa akhir tahun and awal tahun. this year while looking for meaning of doa, i stumble upon a website yg cakap benda tu wasn't sunnah from rasullullah or even para sahabat. I was shocked. i tot that was normal practise. told my mum n sis. all of us also shocked. pastu my sis googled more and found a ceramah from dr asri. he said, there is no such thing as doa awal tahun or doa akhir tahun. we should ask for forgiveness everyday not only at the end or at the beginning for the year. the so call hadith yg always digunakan at some book to justify this ritual wasnt in the real Hadith or even Hadith diragui. it a really man made and contains mystic element. x ingat the exact statement but something like syaitan cakap yg penat dia kacau umat Islam but because of one second baca doa terus rosak segala kerja diorang selama setahun. so up to u to believe it or not. just some sharing which i think what dr Asri say is true.

Financial independent

2011-11-13T19:56:00.001+08:00

Realize it or not, money has become one of important thing in ~~our~~ my life. I work Mon-Friday, at least 9 hours per day to earn money.. I need money to buy stuff and to sustain my life... Although now all the medical now paid by company but it does equivalent to money as well... Even to drink warm water can cost up to 60 sen. As the time spend on earning money, I noticed less time can be spend to enjoy n explore my life.. So I need to be financial independent. People always thought of business to correlate with financial independent but I don't have any business concept.. and some more ding business required more time and dedication... So now the only thing left is having some kind of royalti. But I dont have a golden voice or even a good talent in music or art... although adik mazni cakap muka aku mcm Erra Fazira ( YESS nak cakap gak.. this will become some kind of memory when i'm old :p)...
I tried to do apps but too much to learn and i never finish my lesson :p... And now I'm stuck .. dunno what to do.. I dont want to do my work till I die...
Tetiba dapat light bulb .. may be .. just maybe If i start writing something abt what I do at work for Malaysia version it might become something usefull... I dont need some kind of jumbo mambo bombastic sentence sebab technical is all abt fact and logic.. I can sell something cheaper in Malaysia.. I can help my fellow malaysian and also I can gain money ( maybe I should put money first)...

But arr .. ( in my dream mode) nanti kat bioadata author I don't have bombastic resume to put into.. how how how?? nanti jadi case chef ridz pulak kan.. :p

** Just bear with my another Fatimah's dream .. Maybe I should re-arrange my item to do before 40..

terawikh

2011-08-03T22:46:00.000+08:00

Hari ni hari first aku gi terawikh .. not because my first puasa day ke apa .. but just no mood to go.. The past year awal2 bulan aku gi terawikh kat bayan lepas.. tapi selalunya bila dah dekat akhir2 bulan tu dah rongak. ada multiple reason .. But maybe the truth is i didnt feel it as something yg enjoyable kot...
From beginning, I didn't really like terawikh yg membaca abis satu quran.. bukan apa .. i just feel it defeat the purpose of me going to terawikh. As I dont hafal the quran ... i end up just listen n somehow it always lead to berangan.. so what the point of me going to terawikh if I berangan kan.. better I do something that benefit me. Tapi hari ni lepas bukak pose bersama2 colleague, i stop kat one of small surau utk solat maghrib. Sebab dah lagi 10 mins nak masuk isyak so aku tunggu je la .. After isyak, I decided utk tunggu je for terawikh..Amazingly I like it there...
First of all, the iman lead terawikh dgn ayat2 lazim and 8 rakaat saja.. Me super like... Right away rasa nak ambik balik alquran utk browse through ayat2 yg tersasul n tallykan ngn meaning dia.
No small kids .. it totally quiet masa solat tu.. x de sora budak ke sana ke sini menjerit etc.or main batu seremban. One of the reason I guess, the solat was quiet short n kids that come follow till the end.
Lots of old auntie .. that reminds me of old... i think in my row .. on my left n right side, had some difficulty to duduk tahiyat or bangun dari tahiyat.. they have to push they body. it just make me insaf that one day I'll be like them..

Selamat berpuasa

2011-08-01T06:12:00.000+08:00

Selamat berpuasa to all Muslim friends... Time flies very fast .. just remember a year ago was ramadhan and I move to my new hse and now it ramadhan again.. This year .. ramadhan wasnt start with a good one.. somehow my heart are so panas .. and wasnt as calm as it suppose for holy month. I hope.. somehow along the way .. it become more soften but can I just hoping without any action? I noticed that I had a very less tolerance with bulshit or ppl that I think directly or indirectly hypocrite. It wasn't purposely but it just who I am .. when u say something or do something .. it must be correct and must be aligned .
Some how reflecting it back to me .. me too like to bullshit. So does right to expect something from people but u cant do yourself?

Kinoko No Yama

2011-07-19T21:44:00.000+08:00

snacks ni adalah amat sedap ok. coeklat dia sedap n biscuit dia sedap. Where can I find in malaysia... adakah daiso ada jual??? yg ni gambo strawberry... but semalam makan yg cokelat ,, sedapnya...

it saturday...

2011-06-18T07:38:00.000+08:00

I was reading my old blog post... sometimes it good to have a blog,, you can see how your life and you changed over time. It seems my life was more flowerish and happier & free last time... now it more complicated i guess. found this in my old post ... hahahahhaha ...

10 Tahun yang hadapan (tahun 2015)

Insya allah umor saya dah 35. Kalau saya dah kawin and ada anak .. maybe I'll working as lecturer ke .. cikgu tadika ke.. ahahahah... maybe saya jadik penjual insurans berjaya.. ( bear with me kay).. or maybe saya still with Intel doing something related to training. Tapi ada gak terpikir nak amik something related to management. So tatau aa ..depends on flow la. Kalau
saya tak kawin lagi .. ya allah ...ta mo la cakap .. sebab I really hope dah saya dah kawin by then. So kalau mase tu tak lagi .. terpakse le saya alter post ni.
emm saya pun tatau na tagged sapa lagi sebab banyak kawan saya dah ditagged. I have similar cycle of friend with my friends. ANyway .. saya tagged
1. Suresh
2. Eja
3. Lina

OWC

2011-06-12T20:53:00.000+08:00

Recently people are talking abt the OWC - obedient wife club.. which their main intention is to help reduce the divorce rate n helping to prevent all masalah sosial that related to sex or gender abuse. But somehow reading their article can't help but make me feel that they are actually creating a gender bias. They are blaming all those issue to women.
Emmm maybe I being naive here as I'm not a guy n not even married to one. But i really think the real reason behind all those sosial issue regarding rape because the guys wasn't taught properly how to respect a women.. Some of them might grow up seeing their mum being abuse by their father and give them the initial lesson that how husband-wife relationship should work. They never learnt or even see love between their parents...
And for divorce, I tot a marriage fell because no communication. When the other can't really tell the other party what they really feel, their thought etc. They slept to each other everyday but wake up just feeling like a strangers. they can't share their dreams..their fear.. I might be wrong but as much as people say guy n girl are different where guys only think abt sex but I do think they longing for the same thing. Companionship... emm .. maybe thats the reason i still single. the guys that im looking for is not real.. hahahaha I still in my "la la" land...

astro STUPID.

2011-05-10T23:59:00.001+08:00

The issue with Astro havent settle till now. Everytime I talked to them, i sure feel depressed. Imagine yesterday I called and asked for this officer that promised to handle my case. As you cannot connect directly to them, the other officer said she will call me back. Waited until 2pm and nobody call. So i call back. This time they said yg budak tu baru masuk keje so she will call me anytime until 12 midnite .... Waited until 10pm... then i called them back. Suddenly officer yg baru ni cakap yg hari ni budak yg aku nak cakap tu off. Geram kan....

hari ni aku fax statement but x sampai kat diorang. Dont know which one ada problem ... my fax or Astro's fax.. the stupid thing abt astro they split their call center and email.. so if the fax not working, there is no other way you can send to them. If you send email to wecare@astro, other dept will handle your case which might AGAIN end up to no where. I just cant help to feel so geram with their STUPID systemm.. It so STUPID that I actually cried after the call... Thinking of bringing this matter to public.. if it can happen to me , it can happen to anyone...

anyway i like this song from chuck season 3... it nice .. just ease my sakit hati to astro..

he stars have made their way
I raise my glass and part my lips tend to many deep
The only time I see you is in my sleep

Someday, get up on my way
I think I’ll be okay for a while
I know you were never mine to keep
But I know that I’ll see you in my sleep

But time has been unkind
and kept me far from you
But I know you will be holding me
In my sleep

I’ve been hanging on
scraping by all my life
And I know you will be holding me
In my sleep

I’ve been hanging on
Scraping by all my life

And I know I’ll miss you
I’ll always miss you
But I know I’ll see you
In my sleep

I know I’ll miss you
I’ll always miss you
But I know I’ll see you
In my sleep

birthday

2011-05-08T12:26:00.002+08:00

while looking at the cute cupcakes, one of my relatives cakap " next time during her son birthday she will order this cupcakes and distribute to the kids friend in kindergarten. emm tetiba terpikir. what will be the best way to celebrate birthday with your kids? should we spend the whole time doing something that he or she want like going to mall, playing in the waterpark, or celebrate the birthday party. will it make them happy. I guess with the attention and gift any kids will be happy. does it important for them to feel happy or rather we should do something to nurture their ability to share with other people even those not related to them. instead of sharing or distribute cupcakes to friends in kindergarden, will it better if we bring them to feed the homeless? or give them 100 of rm1 notes and let him give donation to the begger or bring him to celebrate with old folks home ? its not the coolest thing to do but if we make it a routine, will they grow up and feel these is what need to be done rather than they doing something good. but not sure what he feel when seeing his friends bringing cakes to everyone during his birthday while he didn't bring anything to them. will they feel left out? does it a good thing to make your kids feel it is OK to be different so they will not feel shy or doing something just for the sake of other ppl do it? I don't know.

kids

2011-04-25T19:38:00.002+08:00

Baru tau yg one of my senior ada anak OKU.. i think life must be very hard to her.. i always wonder how I will react if somehow i just lucky to have one... I'm not sure if I can accept it. I really salute those mums who really patient to their kids..
somehow deep in my heart I have a guts feeling that if I have a kids, I may have one like that... it is not because I feel Allah want to test me or He want to punish me .. but being MYSELF who i know my deepest darkest feeling, having a kids like that might be the best remedy of becoming less selfish. Although it might turn out to be the other way ....

1st post

2011-04-16T00:18:00.000+08:00

First post from my beloved air.. :) :) :) cannot stop smiling... i promised myself to buy me an air once i completed an apps... hahahahahah but i broke my promise. Just can't wait as I keep on dragging to start writing serious apps... dont think hello world n currency converter count right :p... but.... life is too short to wait .. hahahah ( anything also got justification)... So far it pretty good with my usage ( just 2 days old) but I noticed that it kind of hot when I do screen sharing with my desktop. The fan start kicking.. other that that it pretty "cool". And also noticed that background for photo booth a bit lagging but not sure if that expected for slower processor?? .. Will update my air photo soon .. can't upload yet..

The Lion in Love

2011-04-01T21:05:00.003+08:00

A LION demanded the daughter of a woodcutter in marriage. The Father, unwilling to grant, and yet afraid to refuse his request, hit upon this expedient to rid himself of his importunities. He expressed his willingness to accept the Lion as the suitor of his daughter on one condition: that he should allow him to extract his teeth, and cut off his claws, as his daughter was fearfully afraid of both. The Lion cheerfully assented to the proposal. But when the toothless, clawless Lion returned to repeat his request, the Woodman, no longer afraid, set upon him with his club, and drove him away into the forest.

pimple...

2011-03-12T22:26:00.001+08:00

huhhhuh .. i'm blessed to have a quite a good skin without acne problem.. my biggest problem is hydration. Recently I noticed that I started to have some kind of pimple which is hard to get rid. Dunno why but I suspect due to recent changes on my morning routine which I include jogging at least 1km. It is weird because people say that your skin will be better when u exercise... but for me is the other way.
Just now I google little bit abt this and it actually common issue. When you exercise especially cardio type, you will sweat toxin. This actually help to reduce pimple but if we didnt take shower and let the sweat dry, it will cause clogging into your pore which eventually cause this hard pimple.. So next time, should not browse internet etc after jogging ... it just make me unaware of time....

farewell

2011-03-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

Attending farewell again ... and this time my ex-colleague migrating to US. next month lagi sorang will leave penang. It always nice to start something new but at the same time it is scary too. To blend in to new environment, new culture and adapting wasnt an easy task especially when you are a bit old :)... but still changes is always good rather that complaining everything on the world.
Looking back I didnt regret my decision to leave my ex-company but I still feel something wasnt really right yet. I need to get a job or income that give me more freedom on time. So many thing i want to do and so many thing I have to do but with 2/3 to 3/4 of my time spending doing my office work, I don't think it will bring anywhere. I havent yet cross any check on my thing to do before 40 and next year the age will be increase lagi. Patutkah membuat decision yg drastik after I finish pay off my hse?

handbag vs headphones...

2011-03-05T21:34:00.001+08:00

I was looking for handbag. I feel little bit bored what to wear or which handbag to use etc.... initially i had little bit confident with my financial condition so decide to spend some money on designer handbag which the cheaper is coach la.. i browse the outlet version and also the real store. Can't find anything i like in the outlet version but I like lots of thing in the real store. narrowed down to a few bag... but after i use currency converter, my credit card statement, my account balance... emmm it seems i still far from being stable :p... so terpaksa la lupakan saja.... so tukar arah la ke 2nd class brand .. :(.. so browse lak macy and zappo website.. find a few that i like which within the budget but I can't decide which one.. also found sunglasses.. tetiba terbanyak la plak kat my cart... terpaksa la pick which one is important and ... after a thorough thinking ... i end up buy this headphone instead which is USD9 with free shipping :).. I guess if I have more time thinking and thinking .. i'll be rich by now...

translation

2011-02-27T21:29:00.001+08:00

I'm not a lyrics person but somehow I like maher's insyallah in English version compare to Malay version. first time masa dengar English version the words amat menyusuk kalbu but when I listen to Malay version, it sound so wrong. my friend ada cakap that malay language itself is not a nice language but i don't think in this case pasal language sebab I like some of opick's song which is in malay very much. maybe the translation cacat ke? I told my sis n she agreed with this. we try to re - translate the song but my sis cakap macam bangla cakap Malay plak. so I guess things are best in it's original form instead of translation. although dah translate word by word some might just missed in translation n sometimes it not the meaning but the emotion or the feel yg try disampaikan.
let's learn new language. errr Ada kaitan ke?

everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray

OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insyaallah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way

Andainya kau rasa tak berupaya
Hidup sendirian, tiada pembela
Segalanya suram, bagai malam yang kelam
Tiada bantuan tiada tujuan
Janganlah berputus asa
Kerana Allah bersamamu

(Korus)
Insya Allah... Insya Allah... Insya Allah...
Ada jalannya
Insya Allah... Insya Allah... Insya Allah...
Ada jalannya

Andainya dosamu berulang lagi
Bagai tiada ruang untuk kembali
Dikau keliru atas kesilapan lalu
Membelenggu hati dan fikiranmu
Janganlah berputus asa
Kerana Allah bersamamu

(Ulang korus)

Kembalilah
Kepada Yang Esa
Yakin padaNya
Panjatkanlah doa
Oh Ya Allah
Pimpinlah daku dari tersasar
Tunjukkan daku ke jalan yang benar
Jalan yang benar
Jalan yang benar
Jalan yang benar...

awaken

2011-02-19T09:01:00.000+08:00

We were given so many prizes
We changed the desert into oasis
We built buildings of different lengths and sizes
And we felt so very satisfied
We bought and bought
We couldn't stop buying
We gave charity to the poor 'cause
We couldn't stand their crying
We thought we paid our dues
But in fact
To ourselves we're just lying

Oh...I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves

We were told what to buy and we'd bought
We went to London, Paris and Costa Del Sol
We made show we were seen in the most exlusive shops
Yes we felt so very satisfied

We felt our money gave us infinite power

We forgot to teach our children about history and honor
We didn't have any time to lose
When we were.. (were)
So busy feeling so satisfied

I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves

We became the visuals without a soul
despite the heat
Our homes felt so empty and cold
To fill the emptiness
We bought and bought
Maybe all the fancy cars
And bling will make us feel satisfied

My dear brother and sister
It's time to change inside
Open your eyes
Don't throw away what's right aside
Before the day comes
When there's nowhere to run and hide
Now ask yourself 'cause Allah's watching you

Is He satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?

Oh..I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/awaken_lyrics_maher_zain.html
All about Maher Zain: http://www.musictory.com/music/Maher+Zain

travelling

2011-02-17T23:05:00.002+08:00

I love travelling but never really think deeply why I like it. few days back while waiting for friends, me n my housemate was talking about doing thing that you passion abt. for her is traveling too. n she had an idea to do a cheaper version of private tour guide. emmm although I like traveling but I know for sure i won't like that kind of job. In one of my dream ( yeah I hv lots of dream) I did think of opening my own tour agency who cater for a budget travelling n cheap vacation but it handle mainly the package including the flight booking, hostel or hotel n suggestion on iteniary but without tour guide. but I don't think it will work sebab people who on budget like me will not pay for somebody to plan for them. so sure tak success punya. so kena kasik free je la n I will started it with my near dying travel blog.
back to the topic. When I did some kind of thinking I realize I love to travel sebab nak shopping murah, nk buat benda yg xde kat sini or mahal kat msia, To see new thing n experience new thing but I won't like it if it happen too many time. i means I don't think I like to go see Eiffel tower every month. yeah it beautiful but with the queue n crowd I prefer to sit in cafe n eat my chocolate pastry. hahahaa. n il love to travel with my good friend or to bring mum to see new stuff but im not a ppl person. so i dont think i like to travel in big group. in short as much as I like to travel but become tour guide or stewardess just not my cup of tea. so I guess even if it was something that we passion abt but too much of something might just killed it. one big thing that I love abt traveling is figure out thel details n putting thing into the pieces. I am soo geekkkkkkk.

testing

2011-02-12T18:16:00.001+08:00

I always want an apps that allowed me to update blog mobile. I actually thinking of changing from blogspot to wordpress but when I saw Cikpah post from blogbooster, i know it something I have to try. so now my first post using blogbooster.
nway I was in process to loss weight. my target is to loss 5 kilos which give me back my ideal weight. yeahh don't make that look " ko nak tinggal tulang je ke". it's my body n I know what is wrong. I can't wear some of my favorite clothes anymore so that is my biggest motivation. actually I haven't do anything that so called losing weight program yet. still eat like a whale. FYI I just finish eat kfc for my tea while having subway for lunch. so much for a diet person la kan. but at least now i concern on how much calory that i took. for example i always like my subway with thousand island n bbq sauce but today i just opt for bbq sauce. im so proud of me.
last week during my few days in Thailand, I actually lost 1 kilo. maybe the long walk that we took everyday to go from one shop to another shop or just strolling on the beach. or maybe the long one day of snorkel or maybe the spicyness of the food that cause me toilet most of the time after dinner. even a kilos lost make me happy as it really make different in in jeans. :) I just love the thinner fatimah.

One Step Closer to the Maxis Om Nom Nom Race

2011-01-12T22:36:00.001+08:00

I just knew about this race tonight and guess what? the due date 12/1/2011 which is today.. Dont have time to think what to write but I really know I WANT to join this race. I love to EAT and I love Food and free stugg.. So this race is so perfect. You can eat and still get rewards. Normally, you eat and you just get a bigger tummy :).
I know in mind who will be in my group. Of course Cik Pah is the best candidate. She seems to know everything and everywhere about food. hahahahahha..
uhhuhuhhh .....While reading the full requirement on what to put in this entry, I just noticed that the due date is 5pm.. Arrggghhhhh. Dammmnnnnn... Dammnnnn ... I missed a golden opportunity.... Damnn..
Anyway it seems nuffnang got lots of interesting competition... can feel my adrenalin pump in... next in line i'll join the ipad contest :)...

partition

2010-12-26T16:20:00.000+08:00

I'm thinking of creating partition of my blog. This blog will be a place where I nagging, put my feeling and my thought on.
another blog will be solely for my travel tips ( macam la banyak kan ..). I have another blog to put in the resipi and also another blog for my other stuff... emmm can I handle it? Satu blog pun x larat kan... :p Check out my travel blog on the blog list

itunes U

2010-12-20T09:08:00.001+08:00

After i bought the iphone .. mula la berjinak2 kat apps store. I found one thing in the store that I really salute Steve Job - Itunes U. You can get a lots of thing FOC. Even a whole semester lecture in Standford U. You can choose any class you interested on in some of top university. So you kind of virtually been there and listen to those lecture. Name it, from music, motivation, philosophy, history to the nerdy programming, it all there FOC ( i repeat again FOC). As much as ppl said APPLE ripped off the customer money with their ridiculous price but I think they give you a priceless experience and they give you opportunity to get more than what you actually pay..... ( I Hope APPLE can let me become ambassador so i get mac book for free... yeahhhhh... ). Btw i cakap je .. is not that I fully utilize the itunes U but it is there....

Plan to put my imac in the room back. I just realize i didn't like to be disturb when i concentrate with my stuff. Sometimes pity to my hsemate/my mum as they talking to me when I really want to concentrate I just give a blank look or "i dont care" look. When my mac in the room last time, i will stay inside the room whenever i want to do something and only come out to living hall to do the human connection ( yeah right ...).. when i decide to put it in the hall, i tot i ready to have a real adult life but i guess I wasnt ready yet. Tapi dunno how to fit my mac in the room. Need to do a full room makeover... x pe la pikir after my bali trip. ( does this another syndrome of macbook excuse creation? emmm i have lots of this kind of syndrome where if I want something .. somehow my whole body - physical n emotion find a way to give me excuses to get what I want .. --- dangerous ... ) . Anyway i taking a week off. 4 days to go to bali n the rest is to give some times for me to do what i want to do.. hope it give me enough time to clear my chest n my head.

3 idiots...

2010-12-18T00:28:00.001+08:00

my friend suggest tgk cete ni... mulasal i just ignore dia nya suggestion as too much in my plate right now. So much worries that make me can't think and feel so depressed. My credit card kena telan ngn ATM machine ( dont ask why but it happens) last 2 weeks and until now my card replacement x sampai2 lagi. Next week I'm going to Bali and no credit card at all. I was planning to book a hotel near Safari Bali as they give free entrance ticket but because their need credit card to secure the booking terpaksa la batalkan. So terpaksa la duduk kat Kuta ja which i reserved last 2 months using my old credit card. At the same times at work I have deliverable this week and because they use stupid windows app, when it give unhandled exception i dont know why n how to fix it.

Anyway berbalik pada cete 3 idiots tu, after my friend beriya2 suruh tgk then i stream using you tube to see why dia so want me to watch it. Bila dah tgk sket wow best. It is different from normal Hindi movie and really2 good. It touch abt education and really2 funny. I really laugh and i think the script writer really good.

As much as I agree with Rancho but I'm not sure what is the result if it being implemented and to tell the truth I have doubt if we are ready yet as that kind of educator. I'm an exam person so it a bit hard for me to open up my mind to think a clever way to make ppl really interested in knowledge. My thinking always how to make the kids follow the correct path but not how to teach the kids choose they correct path. As much as I ashame to admit but i know deep down in my heart i saw educations first as the tool to improve social status - to run from poverty. then only yg lain2.

Bila pikir2 as long as I have doubt means I didn't believe it right... so confuse because a part of me really do think education should be like that and a part of me scared to love knowledge.. will we regret...?
.... maybe I'm the worry Raju. I hope All is well.

leopard vs snow leopard...

2010-12-05T23:37:00.002+08:00

it seems my wish for mac book air wasnt an easy target. So much roadblock before even opening sdk for the apps. I started to download sdk sabtu tghari and near 12.30 midnite, it already download half. When I'm surf the net tetiba the cat panjat atas meja .. n as malas nak layan so i just go to sleep. Then bila bangun pagi, when I check the download dah stop but size 1.8G instead of 3.5G. Stop at 12.27am. I guess the cat somehow step on the kb. Geramm .. tapi sabar je la.. next time has to put another window kat depan so the chances of screw it up accidently is lower. Ok .. then stop all other download so it will be faster a bit n download the SDK again. And this time the file finish download and i check the size is correct 3.5G. So excitedly nak install la kan. tetiba x leh install. aphalll... then only notice that my OS is Leopard but sdk yg avalaible is for snow leopard. DAMNNNN... . To upgrade ke snow leopard kena bayar usd29 and next year another OS will come out -- LION. So mcm x worth it je nak upgarde. In a way good thing jugak at least i know should not buy mac air before 2011 summer.
Luckily bila googled finally found the old link SDK for leaopard n it still work.... I hope nothing happens tonite.. ( please let the download finish). Die to see the first hello world....

mac book air

2010-12-04T07:37:00.000+08:00

uhhh .. sgt cantikk .. so slim n small. can just bring everywhere n anywhere. Serious nak tapi xde duit. If I put stoking infront of my bed this christmas, will Santa Clause gimme mac book air? Please2 please2 santa. Teringat masa kecik2 because of this Christmas, me, sister n brother decide to hang our stoking, n give each other person a gift to put into that stoking.. my brother instead of letak stoking, dia letak bakul baju depan katil dia .. BUT the next day bila wake up, no gift for me n my sister .. but we did give to our brother :(. Sudah kena tipu.

anyway pasal mac book air, i want to put challenge to myself. If I able to cross my thing to do on the apps thingy then only i will reward myself... Yeahhhhhhh ... Hope by that there are better model n cheaperrrr :p

Mak Saya dah balik kg :(

2010-12-01T17:01:00.000+08:00

Just send my mum ke airport n now I still infront Airport. Macam malas balik. My relation with my mum is not always sugar coating relationship. I'm a girl that like confrontation with ppl that I close with. There are times where we fight errr I means I fight her back when she say something that I doesn't like / agree or simply when she nagging at me. But deep in my heart I really respect her with all my heart and I start missing her already. Sending ppl off always the hardest thing. Balikkkk tidoooooo

what your definition of happiness

2010-12-01T00:50:00.000+08:00

Tadi tgk drama melayu - dia atilia. So couple ni just found out yg wifenya pregnant n give the good news to their parents. Of course the parents are super duper happy. My friend tetiba asked .. " Bila la kita nak kasik this good news to our parents..and asked my mum ... makcik suka x kalau imah kasik news ni ". My mum nak jawab but can't seems to find the correct answer so the question just left hanging. I respect my mum for not saying yes or at least try to think abt it.

I felt that getting married/getting pregnat is not marker yg boleh indicate your kids happiness and we should not impose that idea & our hope to kids. Of course we should feel happy if somehow our kids decide to get marry or they are expecting a baby etc but should not put that as a checklist of our own happiness. I think parents should feel happy for all the thing that your kids achieved doesnt matter what is it as long as the kids are growing ( bukan memanjang ya .. but growing la).. A small milestone in your kids life should be our big happiness.

I noticed, when the kids is baby, all parents are super duper excited with the kids growth. Everything is super zoom especially for the first kids. Excited with our kids first words la .. our kids boleh meniarap la .. etc. But as they grow older especially when they finish their college, parents will stop to notice n celebrate those meaningfull milestone moment. We look for something more material like married la, baby la, buying car la , buying hse la...
Like having a baby, the first happiness should base on the fact that our kids will have their wonderful parenting experience instead of we will have our OWN grandkid.

And if i'll become a parents one day, I hope i still believe the most important is what they want in their life n what make them happy. Of course something yg purely right la as I believe people will only be happy forever if they doing the right things. Purely right must be something that we really believe by heart .. not something we give our own excuses so that it will be right ( ok .. bullet to myself).

And I prayed n i hope that my kids will find someone that they can share their dreams and someone that can help ease their emotion burden. But if somehow fate decide that they doesnt have opposite partner, I'll die happily if their life is surrounded by good people that will always cherish them.

So in another 35 years if i still alive n someone asked me similar question ... my answer will be . "Seeing how they growing for the past 30 years is already happiness to me". Why 35? hahahah... another 5 years ... married or not, i plan to hv a kids. bukan bayi tabung uji etc but plan for adoption. I dont want to lose that parenting experience and i really hope my parents are happy with my decision.

20 sen

2010-11-20T18:59:00.000+08:00

Tadi masa kat tesco aku beratur belakang makcik. Agak tua la dalam 40 plus near 50. Makcik tu bayar dlm cash so ada la balance. Masa cashier tu nak pulangkan balance, cashier tu terjatuh duit syilling 20 sen. Cashier tu dok bongkok cari tapi x jumpa. As ada orang beratur untuk bayar So dia cakap la " sekejap ya. 20 sen terjatuh". Makcik tu boleh merengus dgn agak kuat n muka masam gila. And while the girl scan my Stuff makcik tu tunggu je. Adoiiii makkk. Gila terkejut aku. It just 20 sen n the girl bukan sengaja pun. Pelik tapi benar.

POW vs POS

2010-11-07T10:34:00.000+08:00

While in war museum, there was a few photo pasal POW - prisoner of WAR. They were force to wear only cawat. I guess, its not only due to safety/no clothes etc but also as one of humiliation to them. Normal people wear a proper attire while they were force to be half naked.
But now being in half naked seems to be something to be proud of... You can see in the sports, in the beach ... and those with a good body are eagerly to show it off.
The different between both, one is done out of freedom while the other is done due to no freedom..

POW - prisoner of WAR

POS- Prisoner of sport?

Patut kah?

2010-11-05T01:56:00.000+08:00

Hari ni ada member tumpang gi keja. Normally bila dia tumpang pergi masa balik pun sama la. At 6.27 rasa dah x larat nak wat keje, i called my friend but he didnt pick up. So i went to prayer room dulu. I called again after prayer tak angkat gak n aku tunggu la kat prayer room sambil main games. After near half n hour, aku call lagi but x pick pun. Setelah mentry banyak kali baru la dapat go through but can't really hear sebab reception. But I heard bunyi noise suara2 orang which aku merasakan dia dah balik. Tetiba rasa geram even actually bukan aku melangut pun. Aku dok main games sambil tunggu dia reply call. Try to console myself that he going through lots of thing but somehow masih geram lagi. I perform my Maghrib prayer and try call him again but x dapat. Last sekali aku SMS yg cakap balik dulu. But till 12 midnite no reply etc. Tetiba I got a SMS tanya if I go for our friend open hse. He didn't even brought up why he didn't pickup my phone yg mana aku nya miscall ada dalam 14 kali. Rasanya aku geram bukan pasal masa yg dibuang tunggu dia pun but more on aphal dia boleh lupa nak inform aku dia dah balik. Am I so insignificant?

New gadget

2010-10-31T03:53:00.000+08:00

Suka suka suka. Last Friday Aku telaha berjaya dapatkan iPhone pilihan hati. Penat dowh Tunggu 3 jam for the phone but it really worth it. Wonder why it took me too long to decide to hv smart phone. I like the apps. N now i understand better how create a good apps that can sell. Your games must be not too hard so people can level up but not to easy that people doesnt feel boring. Then kena ada trial version. So in short, it not an easy money. In another hand , my hse mate parents Ada Kat sini n the main reason they come early instead of during awal Muharram bcos they want to go and see ustaz lokman for perubatan Islam. I google little bit about it and it a bit interesting. In my family only my mum had this kind of experience where she become like some one else. Last time it happen 25 years back and I still remember the event roughly. Ingat yg my uncle sembunyi belakang Pintu. But for this ustaz lokman the queue is too long. My Hsemate queue for the number yesterday for like 2 hours n today even with the number she has to wait for 3 hours n yet the number not even Started. Lots of people rupanya ada sakit. I heard the main clinic in gombak fully booked for this year. The next available appointment is in April next year. She told me Ada pelbagai penyakit n even Ada yg kena cancer. Emm I wonder if cancer can be cure using this mistik medical. Even the biggest tok guru went to stanford for heart operation.

a regret event..

2010-08-30T21:36:00.000+08:00

tadi gi giant nak beli some groceriess. masa nak balik kat kete tetiba ada ah so ni dtg dekat ngn kete. she say something which wasnt really clear but i think i can guess what she want. but instead of giving what i think she want, i say " ha?" ... and now she has to come near me.. and say "saya x cukup duit.. boleh mintak 3 ringgit". and i hate what i did at that moment.. without a smile face... but with a face yg tergesa2, i open my handbag n grab 3 ringgit n pass to her. quickly i masuk kete and lock my door. And only then my sense come to work. For a person to put down their pride n asked for a money.. it already hard enough.. why i make it harder for them? what harm an auntie can do to me.. worst come to worst she just grabbed my handbag n i think i still can win the fight. i think it will brighten her more if at least i smile sincerely .. and she even wish me selamat hari raya... i hate my self.. sometimes my sceptical are too extreme that i dont care people feeling... i wish i should have less prasangka buruk :(..

Ibu

2010-08-23T06:19:00.000+08:00

sangat sedih .. n sgt terasaaa..

Membaca....

2010-07-21T07:06:00.000+08:00

Last saturday i was reviewed a few kids punya penulisan. Rasa nak sakit jantung dgn ayat diorang.. " P.Ramlee adalah seorang penyeronok". "Mak saya merupakan pemberi kasih sayang". "Dia merupakan pembagi gol bagi pasukan sepanyol". "Tokoh sukan saya adalah P.ramlee".. etc... My first impression .. wahh budak2 ni macam x pernah baca buku cerita..agak mengelupur jugak la. Terus rasa nak beli banyak2 buku cerita & ask them to make summary. I talked to few of my friend abt this... One of them give me a very good advise and even to myself. Dia cakap.. the important thing right now is not their grammer but what they write abt & to nurture their passion. Do praise them on what they have wrote to give them motivations. Listen to what they wrote instead of critic je. Give them the inspiration to be success and eventually they will have their drive.

The different between them and the younger me is, i want success and i look for it while for them, they dont care (hahahah macam tipu jugak.. when i was kids my motivation is not success but i just want to get the prize... heheheh) ... Anyway to make an A student out of kids yg memang nak dapat A is easy but this kids is dont care. Tapi betul jugak. I talked to one of them yg dapat gagal dalam periksa. His ambition nak jadik pilot.. so i cakap le.. kalau gagal je.. xkan jadik pilot.. jadik pemandu bus je nanti. And he replied back " Takpe la jadi pemandu bus.. atleast dapat duit". The ambition is not pure.. just for the sake of having ambition but not yet able to drive him.

Anyway one of my friend suggestion is to read to them cerita pasal tokoh2 & biogragrafi. It will give them inspiration and let them see that all the tokoh is normal ppl & due to hard work & passion they can be success. I do agree with this and looking back, myself jugak kureng membaca buku pasal tokoh2 ni. Tu pasal la kureng inspiration in life. Although I can consider myself is quite success but still most of the time I have the feeling of uneasy that I'm wasting my time. I think the main reason sebab aku x de benda yg aku really has passion on. I just follow with the flow which at the end x beri satisfaction in life.. So I guess this suggestion is good for me to find my own life too . ( YES thing to do againnnn)..

Another suggestion to give them read a really good book. The good books will always give the impact to them instead of the chikc flick. My friend give some suggestion of malay literature yg aku sendiri pun x pernah baca.. pannggg malukan dengan diri sendiri. I tried to read salam rushdie punya cerita to have a feeling reading a good literature but just few pages sebab pening ngn englishnya but yet in my own language I didnt treasure what we actually have. So last few days saya dgn tamaknya telah membeli beberapa buku on this. First gi popular but i just notice that nowadays susah nak jumpa buku cam ni kat store... yg banyak nye " Cinta... " .. "Sepi ...".. "Rindu ...". and it hard to find a GOOD MALAY books for kids.. ( bulb light : boleh buat buku cete budak).. ERRRGGGHH.. Anyway i found a website yg ada banyak buku http://www.ujanailmu.com.my/.

Sindrom bosan dgn hidup sendiri

2010-07-14T06:38:00.000+08:00

Perasan bosan ni datang balik... emm actually bukan bosan but uneasy feeling sebab rasa aku wasting my life. Dok blog hop, and nampak sorang ni bersamba la.. yg sorang ni dok asyik travel sini-sana la.... n me? Still doing my routine work. Bangun pagi, gi keja.. balik keja, dinner kat depan tv.. malam tido. Uhhh boringggsss.... xkan le lagi 10 tahun pun nak wat benda yg sama? Arggghhhh

peoms, prayer & promise

2010-07-11T22:41:00.000+08:00

Been listening to this song but never really care abt the lyrics. Tadi lepas jogging melepak sambil melayan perasan kat tasik tiba2 my ipod pop up lagu ni. I do think the lyrics is nice.. ( hahaha i'm so oldiesttt)..

I've been lately thinking
About my life's time
All the things I've done
And how it's been
And I can't help believing
In my own mind
I know I'm gonna hate to see it end

I've seen a lot of sunshine
Slept out in the rain
Spent a night or two all on my own
I've known my lady's pleasures
Had myself some friends
And spent a night or two in my own home

And I have to say it now
It's been a good life all in all
It's really fine
To have a chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it's been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share

The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it's cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
For though my life's been good to me
There's still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known
I'd like to raise a family
I'd like to sail away
And dance across the mountains on the moon

I have to say it now
It's been a good life all in all
It's really fine
To have the chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and watch the sun go down

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it's been since yesterday
What about tomorrow
What about our dreams
And all the memories we share

2010-07-11T04:20:00.000+08:00

i read poj's blog comment and tertarik tgk blog yg dia cakap pasal food photography. Uhuhuh .. serious sgt menarik blog dia sebab banyak gambar. The greece trip's photo is sgt le menarik n rasa cam nak gi greece lak. And till now, aku terbayang squid salad. Macam sedap.. :). Hari ni tgk the despicable 3D. First time tgk 3D and I think is quite good too. Some scenes can really see it pop up in front of you but maybe only 10% of it :). If you go to see the movie... watch till the end sebab ada lagi banyak scene2 comel benda kaler kuning tu. Anyway tadi mencari sandal sebab semua sandal ku sudah putus. My sandal yg pakai gi gurney pun dlm perjalana reben putus, so terpaksa la kan :). Anyway I like this Aldo sandal but the price is way over the budget. It fall under greats deal item but still near 200. So I decided just get a makcik sandal from primavera around RM69. I think it will do for my office & casual wear. Anyway balik rumah still thinking abt the Aldo shoe. In US the price is USD30.. Still thinking nak beli ke x as i just bought a sandal.

1 wk review

2010-07-10T09:00:00.000+08:00

uhh.. ramai yg tanya .. best x tempat baru? honestly... i feel intel's environment more nicer & luxury but now I'm adapting. Start to accept the fact that I'm using Pentium 4 and the facts that my windows access need to go through server. Maybe is a good thing so that I concentrate on my work and leave early :). At the time that I feel kind of x syiok, i remind back what the reason I'm leaving Intel. Just talk to my manager ... and the expectation is still the same which I think is quite good compare to my work in Intel. At first I tot Altera is quite an establish company but looking at my experience I feel they have more to do. But can see they slowly try to improve. I was planning to have a clear expectation from my bos & discuss abt my working hours too tapi semalam x kesampaian. I think it a good thing to clearly put a boundary what is my working hours. I have learn in Intel, a too cramp scehdule & stay long in office will make me less motivated. Tapi semalam x sempat nak cakap & i wonder will my boss shocked with my bold action of discussing that?

First day at new place

2010-07-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

hari ni hari pertama keje kat tempat baru.. Boringggsss .... uhuhh .. benda2 yg turn off utk hari pertama

1. Toilet duduk xde air.. just toilet cangkung je yg ada air. Lucky disable toilet ada air but a bit scary to use sebab toilet terus mengadap pintu and latch dia akan menakutkan.
2. cafe makanan yg x sedap. I'm not a chosy person for food n sangup makan lauk cafe in intel for 5 years. I just can't stand today's food. Still feel hungry after that.
3. PC adalah pc lama yg amat slow. Pentium 4. It using linux n to access windows kena guna winframe which takes some times to connect to server.
4. Audio x leh pakai ...

i hope the work is ok as that why i leaving to here. my manager will only back this thursday. so floating la sampai end of the week

AM I gergasi??

2010-07-04T15:27:00.003+08:00

hari ni aku lepas balik dari bj mensurvey kain langsir.. tetiba aku notice sesuatu.. sandal kayu ku sudah nak koyakkk.. uhhh.. sedihhh. Termasuk sandal ni, aku ada banyak sandal yg telah terputus.. :(. sandal carlo rino yg beli mase nak gi bali pun dah putus. baru je berumur kurang 6 bulan. sandle wedges yg dibeli kurang 6 bulan lepas jugak sudah putus. kasut putih ku sudah nak tanggal tapak. Kasut hush puppies ala2 makcik pun nak tanggal tapak.. APAKAH? adakah kaki ku kaki gergasi? sekarang ni mcm x de kasut nak pakai.. :(..

Btw... weekend ni aku dah langgar vow aku x nak shopping. semalam telah meroyan beli selendang ala2 selendang arab. uhuh sedar x sedar dah sambar 5 helai :(. balik rumah cam menyesal. Hari ni lak telah termasuk kedai la senza di mana ada sales n on top on that HSBC ada 15% discount lagi.. Saya telah terbeli pijama long sleeves. which i dunno if i will wear it or not :p. But it comfy, some more got 70% discount + 15%. So this pijama cost around Rm36. It a little bit baggy but who cares.. sleepwear suppose to make u feel comfortable :).

Living your dream

2010-06-16T21:02:00.006+08:00

Hari ni aku dapat a good news.. Not for me.. but my good friend's mum decided utk enroll Master for Child Study ( errr.. lebih kurang la yekk).. I'm really2 happy, excited .. err .. maybe more on kagum with the mum. Mak dia dah 50++ yg dah nak ke 60 rasanya but still... she has the passionate to reach up for her dream. Saya pun nak jugak.. tapi apakah dream saya? Kena amik masa bertapa ni... Anyway buat masa ni.. i have my dream hse & I dream of having a freedom to do my exciting engineering but free from office politic. (eerr .. adakah itu dream??).. Saya jugak dream utk travel around the world.. YESSS.. I SHOULD Do that....

Btw Mak dia memang ajar tadika for quite long.. but she doesn't have degree. If were her .. sure i takut.. some more umor dah lanjut but.. SHE do it.. uhuhhh saya sangat salute.. cannot imagine how she struggle to reach this decision.

AB ...

2010-06-09T23:31:00.003+08:00

I saw in one of the blog pasal blood time .. and check my own.. Somehow this sentence best describe myself...

"You are passionate in your beliefs, but you also want to be liked by others and this can create conflicts."

'TYPE AB'
Type AB often receives mixed messages about emotional health. While you tend to be drawn to other people and are friendly and trusting, there is a side of you that feels alienated from the larger community. At your best, you are intuitive and spiritual, with an ability to look beyond the rigid confines of society. You are passionate in your beliefs, but you also want to be liked by others and this can create conflicts. In an independent study, Type ABs described themselves as emotional, passionate, friendly, trusting and empathetic. Type ABs are considered some of the most interesting of the blood types, both John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe were Type ABs and although both are long gone, they hold a place in our national psyche to this day. Not surprisingly, ABs can be quite dualistic, possessing both A and B traits. You may be shy and outgoing, and hesitant and confident. You often stand out from others, don’t like labels, and are nice and easy going. You are logical and determined to do things correctly. Usually trustworthy, you like to help others. You often speak in a serious manner. Your patience, concentration, and intelligence are admirable. AB can find a soul mate with any other blood type. Common career choices: bartender, lawyer, teacher, sales representative, and social worker.
Blood Type AB - Tend to be very charming and popular. They don't sweat the small stuff and can be seen as spiritual and even at times a bit "flaky". Only about 2 - 5% of the population are blood type AB. There is never a dull moment in a AB's life, so if you find one for a friend, consider yourself lucky! Youll enjoy some exciting times together! Sometimes it is difficult to be an AB. AB's don't like to fit in anyone else's "boxes". If they feel too confined, they'll break out of that box and do things their own way.

And sedihhh.. kalau i keje kat japan.. ppl wont hire me..

"AB is considered the worst blood type. In predictability-loving Japan, they're loose cannons. They also like to set their own conditions and reserve the right to drop out when things don't meet their expectations. They're known to be sensitive and considerate—at times—but it just isn't enough to balance out the flaws in this blood type. For a while, some companies tried dividing their employees into work groups based on blood type, and no one wanted to work with the AB group."

Changing job not yet line

2010-06-07T22:52:00.002+08:00

To add to my 2010 stuff that I do... finally I decided to change company after 5 years at the same group. My last day will be end of June. I'm not sure if it a good move or not. The last few weeks I'm in my confused zone as there is so many ppl talk to me with different view. I gave them my reason and I think I gave everyone of them might different2 reason depends on my mood & my thought that time. All of the reason I gave them is true but one might weight more than the others. Depends on my mood of the day, the weight will be different...heehehe. Most of the time, all of them regards me as someone who know what she want , have some BIG plan ahead but the truth is .. I just simply want to change. I'm not sure if I'll like what I'll be doing next but it didnt sound bad. I dont want to move to next project in my group as just by thinking of working in that project make me MALAS & irritated. I dont want to trap in this mode. The only option is for me to move. My current project is good & I kind of kesian to them also that I leave it before it really end. But I know, it just a matter of time before I'll be suck into next project.

Anyway .. among all those ppl who talk to me.. there is one manager that I respect most although it the first time I talk to him & he nearly make me change my decision. I think Malaysia need more people like him. Maybe next time i shared what he has talk to me... sebab mau tido..

Insha Allah

2010-06-02T07:40:00.000+08:00

saw abt Maher Zain kat taha's facebook status & somehow I landed in this song. A very deep meaning song. Sometimes aku rasa it is easy when you feel you in darkness or lost or at the down side sebab you will try to find the lights. It is a curse for people who feel nothing or comfortable in their life. Will never occured to them to find the lights.. They will just lost in their own world. I think i'm in the second group. I start to feel comfortable with my life.. it has been routine. I stop doing my reading & searching as i too overwhelm with the world comfortness. It scary..

Death

2010-05-18T21:05:00.002+08:00

I feel disturbed... my neighbour passed away hari ni. Baru je hari ahad dia tegur cakap kena makan yg sihat kalau nak hidup lama. Jgn makan ajinomoto, kicap etc... but he already gone. Time & death wait for nobody... Rasa sedih jugak bila pikir parents sendiri..

kiss the A**

2010-04-11T10:42:00.002+08:00

hahahaha ... i was laughing bila baca news ni...

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/4/11/nation/6034796&sec=nation

wonder how the boy got such idea... Anyway .. ironic nya .. the same boy if he got no Yang mulia, xkan dilayan utk buat lawatan.. x kan direspect sampai nak panggil state assembly.. wont get the privillege he got masa visit tu .. but yet because a letter, he was treated differently..

chase your dream

2010-04-11T01:23:00.002+08:00

hari ni lepak ngn member kat jemputree. We talking2 .. and tetiba termasuk cete masa zaman sekolah. One of my friend yg gi US, dia cete la that she was lucky being chosen as her english wasnt that good back then. Tiba2 teringat zaman sekolah. Ppl who know me since sekolah sure ingat yg my english was very very bad. I can't speak english for conversation at all. ( ye la ni pun x le english berabuk but at least somebody can understand what i try to say in office). After trial, there are a lots of big2 company yg datang to my school cari candidate utk scholarship. As my trial result was ok so my name was on the interview list. Masa tu ada proton, esso, pnb, sime darby, telekom .. and many more. i attend those interview but as expected i didnt impress them at all. Ye la dah la senyap.. x pandai cakap lak. Really feel down masa tu. My "down" peak was when i got interview for petronas. Masa tu after SPM so the interview was held in Johor. Ada 5 org kot in each session n mix with other ppl. Apa lagi .. memang x bercakap la. I just ternganga tgk org cakap. I can't even think what to say. I really cry after that and rasa memang xde harapan nak blaja oversea. Anyway after SPM result keluar, I got a letter from Mara. They just introduce SPC and they selecting ppl utk program tu so they ask me to go for briefing. Masa tu aku dah dapat offer UTM. Deep down in my heart I want to further my study kat oversea tapi dek kerana pengalaman silam interview, i didnt go to the briefing. There are time that i'm asking .. what IF i go for the briefing but I always make excuses that UTM might be the best choice for me and masa tu dah bayar yuran UTM la .. Tiba2 hari ni it struck me that my BIG regret is for NOT trying to chase my dream. I got the opportunity but i back off before I even know the result sebab takut kan failure. It is no harm if I attend the briefing. I may not get in ( maybe the only girl yg x dapat) but at least I have try. I might still go to UTM but at least I went to UTM after i went through the SPC path.. but what I did i make a u turn.. :(. Looking back, I was like that all the time. Am I too vulnerable that I'm afraid of failure. What if i fail for the first, second, third or even zillionth time.. Am my pride is too high that it hurt to get a failure. I hope I can change and I really glad that I found my BIG regret today as I can't find any excuses of this regret... So I should not do it again as I know there is no excuses....

Blind side

2010-04-10T12:26:00.002+08:00

emm sgt suke la cete blind side ni. Sedih n terharu. I wonder if i able to do like what Leigh Anne buat kat big Mike. Malas nak tulis summary so i copy & paste.. see it if you have time..

Based on the true story of Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy who take in a homeless teenage African-American, Michael "Big Mike" Oher. Michael has no idea who is father is and his mother is a crack head. Michael has had little formal education and few skills to help him learn. Leigh Anne soon takes charge however, as is her nature, ensuring that the young man has every opportunity to succeed. When he expresses an interest in football, she goes all out to help him, including giving the coach a few ideas on how best to use Michael's skills. They not only provide him with a loving home, but hire a tutor to help him improve his grades to the point where he would qualify for an NCAA Division I athletic scholarship. Michael Oher was the first-round pick of the Baltimore Ravens in the 2009 NFL draft

contact lens

2010-03-15T13:27:00.002+08:00

This few week, saya telah mentry pakai contact lens. Motif ? Sebab nak pakai sunglasses besar beli gi redang .. hahahah ( i loike my new sunglasses). Ye ..mcm poyokan .. but cita2 saya nak jadi vogue dalam masa 5 tahun ... ( uhhh ..tapi half year has gone tapi cam xde apa2 vogue d boom :( ). anyway masa gi kenduri kawan, aku pakai la contact lens tu n ada lah gambar yg diambik. I showed to my sis photo yg telah ku zoom ke bahagian muka.. tanya dia dia pelik x mata aku. Tau la kan.. beli org yg sokmo pakai spec tukar ke lense, we have the tendency of mata terjojol.. so my sister tgk n dia cakap.. ha ah.. pelik. mcm hidung k.mah nak terkuar.. she said .. weird but maybe after sometimes will be ok. then after tu dia dok belik gambar2 dalam kamera aku n said " emm.. adik rasa k.mah x yah risau mata k.mah weird .. i think perut k.mah lagi pelik... ppl will see your tummy more than your face." .. DANGGGGG... siott kan..

She who stranded in the airport

2010-02-26T15:10:00.002+08:00

Yeah .. balik kg. I buy the ticket quite long time ago with just RM18 :). Murah kan... lebih murah dari bus. But my sister ada class until 5pm so terpaksa la membuang masa kat airport. Luckyly they dont have much shop in JB airport else terpaksa la membuang duit jugak. Tapi xpe, I have a few serious Korean drama utk dihabiskan .. else boleh gak mensurvey what thing to buy in US. Btw not I'm going to US but someone I know are going .. and the weird thing I plak yg lebih excited kan.

Sebenarnya tujuan utama aku memblog, selain dari tgh tunggu vlc download adalah utk mengumpat.. hehehhe .. in front of me ada family. 3 of them. parents and a son ( high school boy). Mak dia cakap non-stop sehhh.. dari aku duduk kat coffee bean ni sampai chicken pie dah nak abis .. mak dia bercakap je. Aku tgk ayah n anak dia senyap je .. mcm xde response je. at a point mcm rasa diorang dah boring plak.. boleh x? Curious aku nak tau apa yg diceritakan.. perlukah aku dok tepi dorang? I wonder .. adakah aku cam makcik tu bile dah tua? but I notice I talk a lot too...

Last 2 days keluar makan ngn member aku. So we are talking abt lots of thing and salah satunya pasal life was unfair. But somehow I dont think life was unfair. We just refuse to see at both side. Some ppl just see what they didnt have and what other ppl have while some just see what they have and what other ppl dont. Of course this cause the inbalance. Sometimes when we see a poor family and they have retarded son, kita akan pity to them.. rasa life wasnt unfair to them. But not many ppl know that the retarded son might give them some happiness that hard to explain by normal mind. Kat tempat kitorang mengajar, there is a dylexia kid. He was very slow but yet he the one yg left the most laugh among us. The one yg diperkatakan banyak and they one that motivate us to go again. Apa yg aku nak cakap, anything that happen in our life although theoritically we get less than other people, but there is always a hidden gift behind that. A lots of ppl yg masa kecik having difficulty in life either poor or broken family or less love etc, end up menjadi a better person bila dah besar. They learn to be more compassion , appreaciate thing, sensitive to others and high tolerate to others. Although there are some goes to stray path tapi mika2 tu adalah ppl who blame life was unfair. Who refuse to see what they actually have. Who just live in the past. We can't have a future without a past but yet we can't have a future either if we stay in the past.
Life works in its mystery sebab I felt human itself is a mystery creature. When same things happens to 2 different ppl, you can't exactly know what the end result for both of them as both will react differently.

2010 updates ...

2010-02-18T07:47:00.003+08:00

i just like how 2010 start.... I been to swimming classs... yeahh . Although x pandai berenang lagi but i like the feeling. At least now I can jump in the pool without fear of having my head dlm air. Suka suka suka... With a few friends .. I start a jogging habit which sekarang just buat seminggu sekali sebab project peak & the swimming thing... So whats motivate me?? heheheh maybe hving a few friends yg into swimming and also into jogging. Furthermore ini adalah preparation utk gi ke redang... yeahhh .. redang here I come..

In the office plak, my old bos is leaving to US.. so maybe its a good time for me to make a move to different dept or even different company.. and my 5 years plan down to the road ( of course not politic or career).... Saya nak jadik VOGUE... hahahah boleh x? Anyway to achieve my vogue plan, I went to buy a few eye make up which actually just eyeliner & mascara.. tapi.. uhuhu sungguh sedih. The day I wearing it in the office, my colleague ask me if I'm sick because of my eyes... uhuhu boleh ke jadi vogue ni. Maybe I just not meant to .. hahahhahah.

Anyway .. i also found something that I want to do for my future.. I dont want to stuck in industry .. and i dont want to be lecturer either.. so i decided.... (drum rollls... ) i want to open my own pre-school. A pre-school that I have the freedom to paint the kids like my own kids... La ni i dah start teaching a few kids to read in our GBS project but it takes lots of effort to actually come out with the best way to approach kids. especially budak2 yg baru buat "A" satu baris dah xde mood.. I still thinking HOWTO make them interested .. and HOWTO not make me angry... hahahha.. I'm waving goodbye to 2009 which such a down year to me.. so many down thing happens at work, life, family and even love. I hope 2010 will brings a lots of up, spicy, juicy and looking forward for it... :).

**credit to a friend yg selalu motivate me utk try benda baru and experience the life.

Racist

2010-01-05T22:56:00.003+08:00

i saw a status from sumai.. i think it really interesting. It has been really clear what has God told us .. but yet we are still divided... and like to be divided. Thing that wasn't in quran was more important than this ayat.

To thee We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the Truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way. If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to Allah. it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute 5:48

2012

2009-11-16T00:11:00.002+08:00

baru tgk 2012.. boleh x aku rasa cerita yg sedih.. hahahah.. anyway masa tgk cerita tu memang x leh lari la kan dari tinking abt kiamat. Dulu masa kecik2, org cakap masa hari kiamat ada dajal datang. Dia akan seksa semua org and paksa jadi pengikut dia. sapa yg tahan iman x kan iku dajal while yg ima suam2 sket sure akan terpesong. At the end, there will be a saviour yg menyelamatkan dari dajal and world in the peace again with only people with good faith will stay before everything turn into dust. Dajal didescribekan mcm monter yg ada satu mata which for me it scary and who want to be become follower of a scary monster. But some say dajal may not a real monster but more on metafor. I'm not sure which part is true .. and which part is penambah perisa. But watching 2012 could not help but to make comparison. During that day, will be so many pain and so many damaged that people just want to save their life which regards how. Mcm dlm cete 2012 tu everyone nak board to the ship and will do anything for it. Mcm apa yg Dr H cakap, human is lost when we start losing our humanity. What if, dajal is actually a way to save your life & family from the disaster and it wasnt that scary , I guess a lots of people will fall for it. What is faith? Believe in Allah, believe in his power .. believe that human is equal in the eye of god, believe that we are here in the world to give our service to him.. believe in doing good, believe in fate.. So I felt in 2012, actually showing one of a way how people lost their faith. Just imagine what will happen if everyone else know abt the news abt the ship a few months or afew days before that..

pre-intro

2009-10-13T00:38:00.002+08:00

A friend of mine told me yg dia x tau nape aku respect dia. I guess macam cete fruit basket, ppl cannot see their own back.. So yesterday I decide to write a special entry for my close friends why I respect them and why I always want to be their friend and how they impact my life... Motive utama .. just incase they lost their way... my entry will remind them how great they are.. at least from my point of view la kan. Itu adalah azam ketika balik dari mentry my toy camera. tapi biasalah kan .. angan2 tinggal angan2.. malam semalam telah dihabiskan mensurf benda2 yg tidak berguna lagipun sebab bile pikir2 banyak lak nak tulih.. and xkan nak kasik link blog ni kat diorangkan.. so azam semakin pudar. Tiba2 hari ni my hsemate email cakap yg collegue dia pass away heart attack. A thought cross my mind.. uhh ajal sampai x terduga.. what if my friend are dying and waiting for some motivation to say how important they are etc... sure menyesalkan. There are ppl who born with self confident.. while there are some who doesnt feel they worth living.. so aku x moh le menyesal nanti. So azam akan diperkuatkan lagi... yeahhhhh... next entry la.

nawaitu vs action

2009-09-24T21:37:00.002+08:00

kadang2 org cakap nawaitu(niat) tu yg penting. Selalu mase kecik2.. mak cakap kalau kita niat nak tolong org tapi tak kesampaian pun dapat pahala sebab yg penting tu niat but when reading dave brown punya buku.. dia banyak berkisar pasal good nawaitu pun will lead to even greater sin mcam bunuh org etc. In one of Astro drama, antara garisan, ustaz tu pun nawaitu dia baik .. utk menjauhi kemungkaran but he end up became so extreme sampai membuat aniya. But I guess when we talk to ppl like that, they never realise dia dah extreme sebab nawaitu dia baik... aku pun x tau le apa yg aku nak membebelkan tapi kadang2 rasa amaze with nawaitu and action that follows with it. Maybe betul yang even niat yg baik itu x kan menghalalkan apa yg haram...

case 1: To restore human faith, a priest create a very huge terror so ppl will return their way to God.
Nawaitu : baik. Action : uhuhuhh .. sangat tidak baik. (taken from angel & demon)

case 2: To help guide the world from any dangerous threat like terrorism etc, the organization telah secretly de-cript every email/web/net without other ppl know abt it. Bukan it saja, when they received a threat yg paksa diorang utk bocorkan rasia itu, a guy in that organization bukan saja telah plan utk menipu org dgn lebih hebat tapi juga telah membunuh org2 yg dirasakan akan menspoilkan rancangan dia.
Nawaitu : baik. Action : Sgt tidah baik ( Taken from digital fortress)

case 3: A defend lawyer yg mana anak buah dia menrape budak pompuan, telah tiba2 rasa bertangungjwab to uphold the justice. So dia telah menreversekan dimana dia soal anak client dia and membocorkan rasia anak client dia.
Nawaitu : Baik . Action : Tak baik gak.. sebab dah melanggar etika sorang peguam. haii... ( taken from jin notti)

Finally.. baru tgk music n lyrics..

2009-09-11T21:26:00.001+08:00

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Vincci +

2009-09-08T23:35:00.002+08:00

tadi mase dok kat living hall, ktorang nampak asap berkepul2 depan rumah kitorang. aku ingatkan ghost festival diorang bakar patung2.. tiba2.. in 10 mins bunyi bomba.. uhh ada kebakaran rupanya.. terukkan kitornag.. x gi call bomba pun. x tau rumah sapa.. sebab mcm xde rumah kat situ...

anywy .. last 3 wks.. i went to Gurney.. vincci baru abis wat renovation.. emm aku baru tau kewujudan vinci +. The shoe look fantastic and much more comfy. i bought one for raya. my first kasut raya after like ages..sgt2 suka.. i put the paper dalam bilik. setiap kali nampak sure gumbira.. x sabar nak pakai. cepat le 20 hb..

mimpi dalam mimpi

2009-09-05T08:50:00.003+08:00

aku tersedar dari tido .. and teringat pintu depan x selak. while I try to lock it, suddenly there is a hand pushing it from outside....I'm struggling and push from inside.. the hand look scary. WHile struggling.. tetiba terpikir.. this cannot be right.. i must be dreaming .. i fight with myself .. and finally i woke up .. and i still in my room. Still feel scared .. i rush to kunci yg room.. takut nak kuar. but some how my room key got problem .. then i just leave it half lock... this morning i notice.. my door room not lock at all. emm .. mimpi dlm mimpi....

kepala lembu

2009-09-05T08:47:00.001+08:00

aku dok tgk video pasal mogok kepala lembu.. just hate it.. and they islam as the justification..

another craziness

2009-08-09T16:05:00.002+08:00

uhhh .. this weekend i'm soooo into LX3. Yes.. i think that the p&s camera yg selama ni yg aku nak. Auto enough to support my lazy mode, small enough utk org pemalu mcm saya to bring anywhere and can do manual to support my sometimes geek modes. It started with a blink .. hehhehe.. i was looking for sony camera actually sebab camera ku sudah hilang setahun yg lepas masa my friend wedding. I've been parasit with my friend's camera for like a year.. and I think its the time to buy my camera. But bile gi pc fair aku cam clueless when people ask me what type of camera i want.. T900 ke T90 ke .. etc .. for me everything look the same. And I donlike the T series sebab dia auto focus x terasa ke kalbuku... I took all the brochure and start surfing the review... from Sony series.. i suddenly fall into Fuji F100FD.. and suddenly ke F200EXR .. and then to LX3. That's on Friday night. Yesterday .. the more surfing I did the more i fall in love with LX3. It so Sexy .. emm sebenarnya aku cam lebih suke white EP-1 punya sexy .. tapi disebabkan it cost more than my dream wardrobe cabinet .. terpaksa le aku melupakan. I went to QBM. Kodak fotoshop jual for 1490 with 4G but not panasonic mem card while harvey norman sell LX3 for 1699 .. with 4G ori panasonic mem card, mini tripod and also the casing.. and those protector screen. hati ku membuak2 nak menslide credit card tapi aku terpaksa menunggu kata2 hikmat dari sifu ku. abis le aku bulan depan. makan megi ke lepas ni.. yes .. x payah makan megi sebab pose. baju raya pun x yah beli.. emm .. kuih raya pun cam x yah beli le ekk.. hahahha .. jimat2 ..

Riak..

2009-08-01T22:27:00.001+08:00

i got this article kat satu blog.. langit ilahi. emm aku rasa menarik.. and tazkirah bersama...

Warden saya di MATRI dahulu, namanya Ustaz Mahadzir bin Mohamad. Dengan saya, ada satu perkara yang dia sering pesankan.

“Hilal, enta kena rendahkan hati enta”

Awalnya, saya tidak faham. Apa beza merendah diri dengan merendahkan hati?

Pesanan itu, walaupun diberikan kepada saya sekitar tahun 2004 dahulu, saya masih ingat sampai hari ini. Saya tidaklah terus mengambil nasihatnya, mengamalkannya dalam kehidupan. Sebab saya ketika itu, tidak faham apa itu kerendahan hati.

Namun, setelah lama masa berlalu, saya mula mengerti apa yang dimaksudkan dengan kerendahan hati itu.

Ada orang bermasalah dengan amalnya. Bukan masalah tidak tahu beramal. Tetapi, dia bermasalah kerana dia riya’, takabbur, ujub dengan amalnya.

Rajin ke masjid lima waktu sehari, maka di dalam hatinya terdetik: “Bagus aku ni, dapat pergi masjid 5 waktu sehari. Istiqomah plak tu. Tak macam orang lain”

Hafal Al-Quran 30 juzu’, hatinya mencuit: “Apa la orang lain, aku boleh hafal 30 juzu’, kenapa la diorang ni malas sangat? Mungkin otak diorang ni lembab agaknya”

Kepimpinan hebat, bercakap di hadapan fasih, semua orang terpegun, hatinya berkata: “Ha, baru korang tahu aku ni siapa. Sekali aku cakap, semua ternganga”

Rajin qiamullail: “Eh, hebat aku ni. Mesti pahala banyak”

Begitulah dalam perbuatan-perbuatan kita yang lain.

Ya, hanya detikan di hati. Tiadalah pula kita mendabik dada mendongak kepala, menjerit-jerit kata: “Aku bagus, aku terhebat, aku terbaik!”. Semuanya di dalam hati.

Ketika itu, hati telah tercedera sebenarnya. Sedar atau tidak, amal kita tidak diterima. Kerna, tiada kerendahan dalam hati kita. Syaitan, hakikatnya telah berjaya memperdayakan kita semua.

Syaitan, jika tidak berjaya mengajak kita berbuat kemungkaran dan maksiat, maka dia akan menyuruh kita berbuat kebaikan.

“Eh, pergi la masjid setiap waktu” Bisik Syaitan. “Kau zikir la banyak sikit”

Bila kita dah stabil, buat kebaikan dengan istiqomah, maka syaitan akan kata: “Bagus la kau ni, buat baik banyak”

Kita pun diam-diam, jauh di lubuk hati, berbangga dengan amal kita. Kita rasa kita sudah bagus, kita rasa kita sudah cukup. Maka ketika itulah, syaitan mula mencucuk-cucuk lagi diri kita. Akhirnya, kita tidak lagi mendirikan solat kerana kita rasa perlu, kerana hendakkan redha Allah, tetapi kita dirikan solat kerana hendakkan perhatian insan lain. Walaupun zahirnya, kita tidak berkata: “Ei, tengokla aku solat” Namun jauh di lubuk hati, kita berkata: “Ha, orang mesti salute punya tengok aku selalu solat di masjid”

Sebahagian manusia, memilih satu solusi dalam permasalahan ini dengan membuat keputusan supaya tidak beramal terus, atau mengurangkan kesungguhannya.

“Ah, malas la pergi masjid, nanti riyak”

“Aku ni bukan apa, takut kalau aku buat elok-elok ni, aku takabbur nanti”

Saya tertawa. Begitu kah?

Kalau benar, maka sekali lagi, syaitan yang licik telah berjaya menipu kita. Syaitan ini mudah, jalannya ada tiga. Pertama: Buat maksiat, ingkar kepada Allah. Kedua: Buat baik, bukan kerana Allah. Ketiga: Tak payah buat dua-dua.

Pilihan ketiga ini, sebenarnya membawa kepada pilihan pertama. Bila kita tidak mempertingkatkan kualiti amalan, kualiti pengabdian kita kepada Allah, maka kita akan terdedah dengan hasutan-hasutan dann godaan syaitan. Kita akan menjadi lemah. Lama kelamaan, kita akan jatuh ke lubang maksiat juga.

Jadi, apa solusinya?

Seorang guru saya, berkata:

“Bila riya’ itu datang dalam amal, maka yang patut kita buat bukanlah meninggalkan amal. Tetapi yang patut kita buat adalah menanggalkan riya’”

Kamu akan menyoal saya, bagaimana hendak menanggalkan riya’?

Jawapannya, kita balik kepada pesanan Ustaz Mahadzir bin Mohamad tadi: Kerendahan hati.

Sebab itu, hati kita yang berbolak balik ini, perlu kita tarbiyah(didik) agar menjadi jinak dan mampu dilenturkan. Kita perlu sentiasa bermuhasabah, dan menjelaskan niat. Untuk apa amal-amal ini kita laksanakan. Adakah kerana manusia, atau kerana kita benar-benar memerlukan amal-amal ini untuk pulang kepada Allah?

Kita lihat, contoh agung kita, Rasulullah SAW yang merupakan Rasul dan kekasih Allah SWT, namun tetap juga merendahkan hatinya serendah-rendahnya.

Mari kita teliti beberapa keadaan yang menunjukkan betapa Rasulullah SAW amat menjaga kondisi hatinya agar sentiasa rendah.

Perhatikan, malam sebelum perang Badar berlangsung, Rasulullah SAW telah berdoa dengan bersungguh-sungguh, mengangkat tangannya dengan tinggi, sehingga terjatuh kain rida’ baginda dan menampakkan ketiak baginda yang putih.

Rasulullah SAW berdoa: “Ya Allah, seandainya KAU tidak membantu kami, maka KAU akan lihat esok tiada lagi orang yang akan menyembahMu”

Doa baginda yang bersungguh-sungguh itu, membuatkan Abu Bakr RA terharu. Abu Bakr menenangkan baginda dan menyatakan bahawa Allah pasti akan memakbulkan doa baginda.

Hal ini, terbalik dengan situasi hijrah. Ketika hijrah, Rasulullah SAW amat tenang, dan Abu Bakr RA yang ketakutan. Hingga di dalam gua Tsur, Abu Bakr apabila melihat kaum musyrikin sudah tiba di pintu gua, Abu Bakr RA berkata: “Ya Rasulullah, bagaimana kiranya jika mereka tunduk ke bawah, pasti kita akan dijumpai mereka”

Rasulullah SAW menjawab: “Apa pandangan kamu wahai Abu Bakr, jika kita berdua dan yang ketiganya adalah Allah?”

Kata-kata itu langsung menenangkan Abu Bakr RA.

Sedangkan, semasa hijrah, Rasulullah SAW hanya ditemani Abu Bakr RA dalam keadaan tubuhnya telah diletakkan ganjaran 100 ekor unta kepada sesiapa yang berjaya menemui baginda hidup atau mati. Manakala ketika di Medan Badr, Rasulullah SAW mempunyai bala tentera seramai 313 orang. Kenapa ketika hijrah Rasulullah SAW bersikap amat tenang, dan di Medan Badr Rasulullah SAW amat kerisauan?

Kerana, ketika hijrah, Rasulullah SAW tidak mempunyai apa-apa. Pergantungan baginda, 100% hanya kepada Allah SWT. Baginda meletakkan keyakinan baginda, sepenuhnya kepada Allah SWT. Tetapi, semasa peperangan Badr, baginda sudah mempunyai ramai pembantu, tentera, sedikit senjata, beberapa tunggangan. Bagina amat takut, bukan takut kalah, tetapi takut andai pergantungannya tidak 100% kepada Allah, tetapi kepada angka tentera dan kelengkapannya.

Maka, Rasulullah SAW menghiba, merendahkan hatinya serendah-rendah. Walau mempunyai tentera, baginda tetap meletakkan pergantungannya kepada Allah, menutup lubang-lubang riyak, ujub dan takabbur, menghapus peluang hasutan syaitan.

Dalam situasi yang lain, yakni ketika Fathu Makkah. Rasulullah SAW masuk ke Makkah, bersama 10,000 orang tentera baginda, lengkap bersenjata semuanya, majoriti tentera muslimin ketika menunggang kuda dan unta, semuanya berbaju besi dari kepala hingga ke kaki dan hanya menampakkan mata sahaja. Lengkap, hebat, gagah, dan tidak tertentang.

Namun, Rasulullah SAW tidak masuk dengan mendabik dada, ataupun tersenyum memandang kiri kanan. Diriwayatkan bahawa, Rasulullah SAW masuk ke Makkah ketika saat gemilang itu, dengan menundukkan kepalanya, menangis dan memuji-muji Allah. Dinyatakan bahawa, Rasulullah menundukkan kepala, hingga kepalanya itu hammpir menyentuh tubuh untanya.

Kenapa?

Kerana ketika itu, Rasulullah SAW hendak menutup segala kemungkinan untuk riyak, takjub, ghurur, takabbur dan pelbagai lagi tembakan-tembakan halus syaitan. Segala strategi Syaitan, dihadapi baginda dengan tenang, dipatahkan penuh bijak dengan kerendahan hati.

Begitulah kita dalam kehidupan. Mahu tidak mahu, kita perlu mempertingkatkan taraf amal kita, kualiti kehidupan kita, kesungguhan kita, dalam mengejar redha Allah SWT dan menjadi hamba-Nya. Memang, sebagai manusia biasa, segala penyakit hati seperti riyak dan saudara maranya akan datang menghinggap. Maka, solusinya bukan meninggalkan amal, meninggalkan usaha. Solusinya adalah berhadapan, menentang.

Bila kita perasan bahawa kita ini riyak, atau mula ada rasa ajaib kepada diri, maka perbanyakkan lah istighfar, muhasabah, dan mengembalikan segala puja dan puji itu kepada Allah. Sedarlah bahawa, kita dapat beramal ini pun adalah rezeki daripada Allah SWT. Pulangkanlah segala kelebihan itu kepada-Nya. Allah lah yang memberikan kita izin untuk melakukan segalanya.

Alangkan Rasulullah SAW yang paling hebat hubungannya dengan Allah SWT pun menjaga perkara ini, masakan kita tidak boleh bersungguh-sungguh untuk mencontohi baginda. Hubungan kita dengan Allah, amatlah lemah. Mustahil kita mampu menentang segala cubaan dengan meninggalkan amal. Riyak dan saudara maranya, hanyalah halangan yang perlu kita langkaui, untuk kita menghadapi cabaran dan dugaan yang lebih besar dari itu lagi.

Merendahkan hati, tidak sama dengan merendahkan diri. Bila kita merendahkan diri, orang nampak kita merendahkan diri. Malah, kadangkala, kita merendah diri pun dalam keadaan riyak. Merendah hati, lebih sukar dari merendah diri. Hal ini kerana, merendahkan hati ini, benar-benar kita dengan Allah SWT sahaja. Manusia lain, tidak akan tahu bahawa kita ini merendah hati atau tidak.

Jadi, isu kerendahan hati ini, perlu anda perhatikan, muhasabah. Anda dengan Allah, bagaimana?

Ketahuilah bahawa, kekuatan hendak beramal dengan ikhlas, semuanya datang daripada Allah SWT.

Rendahkanlah hati anda. InsyaAllah Allah akan membantu anda.

Sama-sama lah kita perbanyakkan muhasabah, dan memberbaiki lagi kondisi hati dan kehidupan kita.

Kita hendak pulang kepada Allah SWT, dalam keadaan hati yang sempurna insyaAllah…

Ya Allah, terima lah, dan bantulah kami ini.

Manusia-manusia, yang hendak menjadi HambaMu Ya Ilahi…

yes.. its good to have extra money...

2009-07-31T16:29:00.002+08:00

hahaha.. hari ni adalah hari ecbp.. tapi saya dengan gembiranya telah menbelanjakan sesuka hati,, i just spend 3 hours in queensbay but i have finish almost all the ecbp money. hebak sungguh.. ni x kira lagi duit nk gi singapore... I will try my very best not to buy anything in Singapore... Sue .... tolong le aku.. jadik aku nye financial guard... uhuhhuhuh ... how i wish u dont have to pay the credit card :(..

Buatan orang

2009-07-13T08:58:00.004+08:00

Emm .. sekarang ni ada 2 org family aku yg mcm sakit tapi x sakit. One of the uncle, dia x leh cakap.. x leh makan .. x leh jalan. Jumpa Dr, dr x jumpa sakit apa .. so now he was on a long medical leave under physcological reason. Yesterday lawat dia .. seems he's better compare to 3 months ago. at least dah boleh jalan although cakap masih x boleh. Org cakap dia kena buatan org.. not sure how true it is but my uncle memang agak cakap lepas le. So maybe ada org yg agak sakit hati. Kesian.. anak masih kecik2 .. Dalam 2 bulan yg lepas ada lak satu sedara lain yg sakit lebih kurang. Tapi xde le sampai xleh jalan or xleh cakap.. but he seems so weak. Dia cakap kadang2 rasa kepala sakit sgt .. kadang rasa dada cam nak pecah. Dr check everything is ok. He owns contractor company and one of my relatives yg berjaya la. From outside, pada aku dia a good person, masa mak dia sakit dia yg tanggung, adik dia pun dia yg tanggung. Even kalau my family nak jalan2 mana tak required a big car, he will lend his naza so can fit the whole family. tak tau napa org nak dengki. Isteri dia baru je lahirkan anak. sekarang company dia kawan dia yg jaga. Dah dekat 2 bulan la x dtg keja tapi company sendiri ok le kot. yg ni pun anak masih kecik2. Kesian bila pikir2..
Even kadang2 x nak percaya benda buat2 org ni but pada aku it do happens. Even rasulallah pun ada kena sihir. Bila benda2 ni terjadi semua akan try sehabis daya utk cari penawar. Tapi dalam masa mencari penawar ni kadang x tau mana yg cakap benar mana yg cakap tipu. Sometimes makin kita nak baik .. makin kita terpesong.. Walau dapat jumpa org yg ok , yg dapat mengubat tapi kadang2 cara nya x betul. Kadang2 terpikir kalau le ditakdirkan kita kena benda2 ni how will we react? Mcm mana nak ubatkan? Which one will benefit more, a doa or help from a kiyai or our own doa to Allah to help. Ada org cakap.. kita mintak kiyai doakan sebab diorang lebih dekat ..lebih makbul doa tapi bukan kah kalau kita mintak sendiri lebih ikhlas. Memang le tau, kita ni ilmu x banyak.. amalan pun ciput je tapi insyallah Allah x membeza2kan doa kita asalkan ikhlas n betul2 yakin akan kuasanya. Entah le...
Bila baca2 transalation, aku perasan surah Al-falak adalah doa utk mohon perlindungan utk benda2 alah ni. Allah turunkan doa ni utk kita it must means something. Maybe its a good practise for us to avoid all those mischief.

1. Say: I seek refuge with the Lord of the Dawn

2. From the mischief of created things;

3. From the mischief of Darkness as it overspreads;

4. From the mischief of those who practise secret arts;

5. And from the mischief of the envious one as he practises envy.

memory

2009-07-09T07:23:00.002+08:00

I think the culprit of moving on is the memory. Memory was suppose to be the bridge between human. When u are meeting with your long lost childhood friend at least 50% of the topic will be " ingat x masa dule". However when u moving on, you wasn't suppose to continue the bridge. You not suppose to remember those moment. You have to close it and create another bridge either friend bridge or enemy bridge. The hardest is to close it while having a memory. Doesnt matter either good or bad memory but you will think about it.If a good memory, you will thinking if you will ever has similar memory in future .. while if bad memory you will think where it goes wrong, why u cant see it. You blaming yourself to even start the bridge .. and at the end u are stuck in the loop of hatred and depression.
It will be easier if we have a switch to on/off the memory but then what the different between us and robot. Even pleo pun diorang nak kasik memory kat dia. I wonder what the different will you be when u move on while having your memory and when u lost your memory. Will you be different person. Experience does grow you... but having a past memory, will it bring anything? Does the past memory is important..? If you lost your memory, will you became the different person.. emm i dont know..

facebook

2009-07-06T07:56:00.002+08:00

emm .. recently i think I'm addicted to facebook.. scary weii .. bukan addict apa .. tapi addict main all those silly games like restaurant city .. farm buddy.. farm town le .. happy farm le .. pet society la. I'm feel so weird because I do feel it a silly games .. but yet .. first thing i do in morning is to rest my employee kat restaurant city.. and make them work before I go to work. Bile balik keje .. that the first thing I do first... Pelikkan. emm .. maybe i should not open my facebook next week... YES ... another 4 days to the warehouse sale .... I'm looking to buy a new croc..

bebelan wanita di malam sabtu

2009-07-04T19:56:00.002+08:00

So many thing to do but lazy to do.... haii... Anyway i eagerly waiting for next week. There will be metrojaya warehouse sale. Not sure what to buy but I'm excited... hahahhaha .. lame sehh x shopping (emm .. kenyataan yg meragukan ... ). I just finished 1 phase of project and now waiting another phase in next 7 wks. Uhh .. finally I has my weekend back but some how i just felt want to lay back in my bed although banyak betul benda yg tertangguh.
I just finish Korea marathon : Which star you are from... Best gak. It hard to be in love when you always felt the shadow of some one especially your own sister. But I guess it depends on your confident. If you confident that a guy can love you as what you are .. it wont be a problem... tapi what if even you cannot see why you deserved to be love.. so balik2 confident. Nak dapat keje pun kena confident.. malas nya.
Aku tgh nak mendecided sama ada nak mengabiskan duit kat facial ke x... my age are changing the front number next year.. kang takut meyesal lak .. and u cannot turn back time. tapi .. yearly cost mcm baik aku simpan bile wardrobe kan... emmm ... confuse...

A miracle 3

2009-06-11T23:11:00.001+08:00

Hai ... before vacation, i lost weight ~3kg .. and now after vacation .. i gain weight ~3kg... so nett is ZERO...

acai berry

2009-05-30T22:09:00.001+08:00

I hate acai berry... recently my IM keep on getting messges + buzz pasal acai berry ni. Apa hal.... nway i like ending gosip girl this week :).

My Dear beloved Son

2009-05-28T08:26:00.002+08:00

I was reading this book and found it interesting. It has some advice that should be applicable for everyone with regard any religion. If you have time ..just read it. Wont takes more than hour to finish it.

www.ghazali.org/books/My%20Dear%20Beloved%20Son.doc

I'm coward

2009-05-27T14:18:00.002+08:00

Sometimes when I;m so tension with work, i wish I sick or wish got banjir besar dan i dont have to come to work. Butt it never happen. Got one time, i was wishing I dont have to go to work and the next day my housemate kena gastrik yg teruk that she has to be hospitalized. I feel guilty as somehow i feel due to my wish. Now is the time that I wish I healty and can finish my work before next week sebab i have a promise with my niece utk gi langkawi. Somehow, this pass few day I has a fever... and it become worst today that I have to took mc. haiii ... why thing nevr happen as you wish....

Tazkirah di pagi monday

2009-05-25T07:32:00.000+08:00

Below is a valuable piece of advice presented by Imam Al-Ghazali to his disciple. Insha'Allah we can all benefit from it. Please read on.

My dear son,

If you understand this tradition, there is no need for too much knowledge. Hatim al-Asam was among the friends of Shaqiq al-Balkhi (may Allah have mercy on them both). One day Shaqiq asked Hatim: "You have kept my company for thirty years; what have you gained in the course of these years?" Hatim replied: "I have gained eight benefits from the knowledge which is sufficient for me. I hope my salvation and safety are embodied in them." Shaqiq asked Hatim to mention them. Hatim al-Asam said: "The first benefit is that I observed the creation and saw that everyone had loved one and one passionately desired whom he loved and longed for. Some of the beloved accompany the lover up to the brink of sickness and death and others to the gate of the graveyard. All of them return and leave him there alone. No one goes into the tomb with him. I looked into the matter and said to myself: 'The best beloved is that which would enter the tomb with the lover to console him'; I found it to be nothing else than good works, so I took this as my beloved, to illuminate my grave for me and to comfort me in it and not leave me alone.

"The second benefit is that I saw that the people were following their lusts and hastening towards the desires of the souls; and I meditated on the saying of Allah the Exalted: But as for whoever has feared the majesty of his Lord and has refrained his soul from lust, truly the Garden shall be his dwelling place (Quran, 79:40-41). Convinced that the Quran was true and right, I began to deny my soul [its pleasures] and hurried to combat it and refuse it its passionate desires, until I enjoyed real satisfaction in obedience to Allah the Exalted.

"The third benefit is that I saw that every human being is striving to accumulate as much as he can from the wreckage of this world and then holding on strongly to it. I meditated on the Quranic verse: What is with you must vanish; what is with Allah must endure (Quran, 19:96). So I gave freely my wordly possessions for His sake by distributing them among the poor so that it would be my provision in the future with Him the Exalted.

"The fourth benefit is that some people whom I observed think that their dignity and honour lie in the multitude of their family and large clans. They were fascinated by these things. Others claimed honour and dignity in abundance of wealth and children, and they were proud of it. Some believed honour and power abide in appropriating the wealth of others, doing injustice to them and shedding their blood. Others considered dignity to consist of extravagance and spending wealth in a foolish manner. I meditated upon the saying of the Exalted: The most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you (Quran, 49:13). I chose righteousness for myself, convinced that the Quran is right and true and those claims and opinions of the people are all false and temporal.

"The fifth benefit is that I found people slandering each other and speaking ill of one another out of envy of fortune, power and knowledge. I meditated upon the saying of Allah: It is We who divide their livelihood among them in the life of this world (Quran, 43:32). I realised that the process of dividing livelihood is entirely in the hands of Allah since the beginning of time. Therefore I never envied anyone and was satisfied with the distribution of Allah the Exalted.

"The sixth benefit is that I saw people becoming enemies of each other for difference reasons. I meditated upon the saying of Allah: Verily, Satan is an enemy to you; so treat him as an enemy (Quran, 35:6). I became aware that enmity with anyone except Satan was not permissible.

"The seventh benefit is that I saw everyone working very hard, exhausting themselves to obtain food and sustenance, tempted by doubts and forbidden things. They degraded themselves in humiliation. I pondered over the saying of Allah the Exalted: There is no moving creature on earth but that its sustenance is dependant on Allah (Quran, 11:6). I knew that my livelihood is guaranteed by Allah the Exalted, so I engaged myself in worship and cut off my covetousness of all else, other than Him.

"The eighth benefit is that I saw that everyone relied on some created thing, some on the dinar and dirham, some on wealth and property, some on trade and craft and some on creatures like themselves. I meditated on the saying of Allah the Exalted: "And whosoever places his reliance on Allah, sufficient is [Allah] for him. For Allah will surely accomplish His purpose. Verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion (Quran, 65:3). I therefore placed full trust in Allah the Exalted. He is sufficient for me and He is the best Disposer of affairs."

At this point Shaqiq said: "May Allah bless you and grant you success. I looked into the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Zabur and the Quran and have found that the four books revolve around these eight benefits. Whoever works according to them is working according to these four books."

~ Adapted from Imam Al-Ghazali's book Dear Beloved Son (Seventeenth Counsel).

My new resolution

2009-05-22T05:44:00.002+08:00

Emm .. nak tunggu new year lambat lagi .. so I guess I make mid year resolution. I decided that I want to start travel again. REading angels n demons make me remember those moment. I like travel. I'm a lazy person and just know what aroud me. By travelling, at least it make me aware of what happen in other place. I'm not a "people" person so I wont get those experience by mingle with people. I like the challenge of going to alien place. From now, I will start menabung a few bucks a month as my travel fund. Once I see cheap flight I'll book. When i'm back in malaysia, macam ada perasan yg takut nak travel.. not sure why. So i just want to get ride those feeling .. and just go.... My ultimate place ( kalau le mak cik dapat bonus : greece, turki , china, japan)... once my house is ready, i want to spend 50% of my salary on travel. No more new clothes .. new shoe .. or new bags.. ( but its ok.. can buy when u travel :p)...

Today is beautiful

2009-05-18T07:30:00.001+08:00

Bangun pagi .. cuaca cam best je ... i hope it last to long... Lately in penang.. the wheather is unexpected ... kejap ok .. kejap ko... hai..

Be positive.

2009-05-17T11:09:00.001+08:00

I was reading a blog by a cancer survival. Maybe this a good Doa for us muslim when we have hard time in our life

http://onebreastbouncing.blogspot.com/

Aku minta kepada Tuhan setangkai bunga segar, DIA beri kaktus berduri... Aku minta kupu-kupu, DIA beri ulat berbulu... Aku sedih dan berasa kecewa... Namun kemudian, kaktus itu berbunga indah, indah sekali. Dan ulat bulu pun menjadi kupu-kupu cantik berwarna-warni....

Itulah jalan Tuhan, indah pada masa yang ditetapkanNYA. Tuhan tidak memberi apa yang kita harapkan tapi DIA memberi apa yang kita perlukan. Kadang-kadang kita rasa sedih, kecewa dan terluka... Tapi yang sebenarnya, DIA sedang mengatur yang TERBAIK dalam kehidupan kita...

Ya Allah, ampuni aku yang mudah rebah di kaki duka, yang mudah hilang pertimbangan tika jiwa kecewa... ampuni aku yang buta dalam celik buntang mata... ampuni aku... sematkan di jiwa kekuatanMU sebagai gagah kudratku, sebagai perkasa jiwaku, sebagai tinggi yakin imanku...AmiinI

Love do not required return

2009-05-17T07:25:00.002+08:00

semlm tgk cete cine andy lau ngn shu qi berlakon.. ok le. tapi ada satu scene yg menarik hati. Ada le mamat sorang ni (jobless) n suke kat minah yg bercareer. So dia join a reality show utk express love dia. dalam show tu, dia cakap, x kisah le kalau pompuan tu reject dia etc, but the important thing is he want to let her know that someone really love her and love do not required any return. But .... aku rasa in real life benda tu susah nak dapat. People always love ( x kisah le as a lover or friend or family) someone when the other party show back the love or appreciate the love. If not the love will not growth. Maybe ada exceptional cases le .. but so far that I observed. In movie is different cases. x tau le movie cam tu sebab some people belief in it or it just a fairy tale. Or maybe .. people nowadays became selfish that u didnt see that kind of love even in family.

For example if some one in love when suami orang and willing to be a second wife. But the first wife x kasik. So a lot of people will still kawin but willing to sacrifice by became isteri gelap ( unknown wife).. tapi bile pikir2 .. by marrying that guy, we will add more trouble to him... and why we still need to became his wife when he has a price to pay. That price is not sikit. Impact his life with his family, son .. and he became a liar.. But still people want something out of their love...

counselling...

2009-05-17T01:06:00.002+08:00

I wonder what the best thing to overcome sadness...
1. Should you keep on thinking why you cannot sad. How this sadness is necessary for you to find happiness .. or how this sadness is nothing compare to sadness if you choose other decision
2. Should you try to avoid other people and let yourself cry until u tired?
3. Should you join your other friend partying so you forget the sadness ..
4. Should you make sure you have company all the time so you dont think abt your sadness but end up you tired of try to show a happy face?
5. Should you just hope there will be miracle tommorow?
6. Should you listen to your favorite song or verses so you thinking abt it instead of your sadness
7. Should you go shopping until you broke?
8. Should you eat ice cream or all the sweet2 thing until u get diabetes?
9. Should you go to movie alone and cry all out when the story not even a sad movie LoL..
10. Should you book a flight tix for vacation
11. SHould you work till night until you dont have time to think ... until the sadness is over?

mengantukkkk....

btw .. for those with Mac.. here a good Quran software. You can get translation in all language + the recitation
http://zekr.org

clarinase

2009-05-01T20:12:00.002+08:00

emm .. this few weeks aku dok kena batuk ngn selsema. last week gi clinic, dr kasik clarinase + ubat batuk. Lepas makan teruk kong .. bangun cam pening2 sket tp selsema terus hilang. mulasal ingat penangan ubat batuk .. tapi hari ni aku amik clarinase lg. pun sama .. cam pening2 .. bile bangun cam nak pitam.. emm bahaya gak ekk ubat bagus2 ni

I'm free

2009-04-19T10:40:00.003+08:00

Finally I'm kinda if free from my work burden. This pass 2 weeks at least i can sleep well and wake up with some happy feeling. No one to bug me .. no one to call me every one hours and I'm happy. I can start having my life back .. I have time to do my cleaning routine which make me happy too. I can start plan my weekend and I'm so happy for the freedom that I have now.
Tapi aku pelik .. when ppl are in their worst time why so many blame happen? Masa awal2 nak buat .. no one want the task. You guys can just ignore this .. i want membebel utk meluahkan perasan je. In my project .. i was supposed to deliver block X. It was given to YH but he dont want to do because even designer need 6 months for that. So he said .. then it's not possible for him to do it. My boss ask me and i just took the block and do it. And the same time .. it kind of excite me in the beginning as I'll be able to do new stuff. I encounter lots of issue and when I struggling to resolved my few last issue before the 1st design handover, YH came and said to me .. if I'm OK if he create another X block just incase mine is not working. I just say OK but it did break my heart. If he really want to help .. why dont he help me with my block or why dont he take the task when it first being given to him. Anyway I managed to completed the block but some how my design are very flabby. This block X is use to boot Os and we encounter lots of issue and some of the issue is due to my block X. Then the DE/Core team start talking ... that the OS boot is delayed due to issue on Block X. Yes .. i get the blame again while initially they dont want to do it. It was so frustated working in this environment. In the beginning, I just fix issue on Block X everytime ppl who work in OS boot file an issue or email me the issue. But later stage .. some how I became the validator who debugging the issue, simulate the issue, fixing the issue and creating the images. I've been putting myself to the max during this time and it really break me down... and even my family and friend impacted with this. Everytime my phone ringing I scared .. and hoping its a wrong numder. Anyway .. those thing is over.. but yesterday conversation with my friend make me even hurt. My friend said .. that a friend said .. give him 30 days and he can bring the OS up. I know he capable of doing that but it hurts to hear that as it give me feeling .. all the sacrifice i made is not worth at all.

He butterscotch and I'm chocolate raisin

2009-04-17T23:01:00.003+08:00

Last weekend aku dok becanda kat air terjun celebrate birthday kawan, Miss S. So salah satu gosip yg kuar pasal member aku Miss S nak match making Miss B with Mr P. FYI Miss S, Miss K and Mr P blaja sama2 kat german so all of them know each other la. Kitorang gi mandi air terjun 7 org including Miss S, Miss K and Miss B. Miss K and Miss B just met for this clebration while the other 6 of us agak selalu gak le spend masa bersama2. When the subject pasal nak match make Miss B with Mr P di diskuskan... Miss K buat muka " what .. x de org lain ke ko nak matchkan". Tapi Miss S cakap le .. sesuai.. sorang drama queen and sorang drama king. After a while with Miss B, then Miss K cakap .. " ok2 .. betul la sesuai .. sama2...".

hahaha .. my point bukan nak mengcompiuskan kan korang dgn so many Miss XYZ .. but i wonder for a good relationship, which one better. Does you need to be similar or you need to be ying and yang. I wasnt really thinking abt this until my friend offer me butterscoth gardenia. I know lots of ppl like this butterscoth and I've been dying to try one ever but always sold out kat petronas. Until one day i managed to buy it. Even butterscoth is more popular but i realized i like chocolate raisin more. So should i look for ppl that like chocolate raisin .. or i'll be happy with butterscoth.

I asked my good friend abt this if he butterscoth and his gf cokelat raisin or both of them is the same. He told me .. he and his gf, they are totally different sampai type of bread x leh nak mendescribekan diorang but they prefectly happy.

So does similarity and differences important in relationship?? Emm aku masih x sure what the conclusion weh...

Guides to daily conversation

2009-03-23T21:08:00.002+08:00

When your friend tell you that she pregnant
- wah .. congrats.. dah berapa bulan
- Nanti bersalin kat mana? Sapa jaga?
- Ada morning sickness x? Ada mengidam apa2 x?

WHen your friend just deliver
- so boy or girl?
- Bape berat dia? Amboi ringan je, apsal perut hang nampak besaq dulu ekk
- sakit x?

When your friend plan to shift to new place
- Jam x?
- Kat sana, neigbour dia cam ne? OK?
- Bape sewa?

When your friend buy new cosmetic/diet product
- Berkesan x?
- ada apa effect x?
- Bape rege?

When your friend tell you that she/he got new job
- Gaji bape? Tinggi ke?
- Apa dia kasik? Benefit
- Keje dia best ke? Ada travel ke?

WHen your friend got scholarship offer
- Ni loan ke scholarship?
- Kena keje ngn diorang ke? Ikat bape tahun?
- Bape dia kasik? CUkup ke?

When your friend tell you her bro get enggage
- Your younger or older brother
- YOU BILA LAGI ... < APA HALLLL...

Personality test again ...

2009-03-09T12:58:00.003+08:00

Amik dari blog pojan ... some of it maybe true. One of my close friend cakap .. myself penuh tgh "afraid" .. "afraid" and i need to to know i can control stuff. dia mentions something which is maybe true ... yg aku akan serba x kena if i dunno what i should do for the weekends. I need to have plan. Not sure if that is bad or good but i do happy having all plan even sometimes it does not work according to plan seperti plan nak berjogging setiap petang :p

Give it a try ..
http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Believe or not ...

2009-03-08T22:57:00.002+08:00

Hari ni masa kat kampung tiba2 termuncul lak topik pasal benda2 yg macam x logik but it happens. One of thing pasal bentan. My mum ada satu "poem"( bolehkah? i dont want to use "jampi serampah" or mentera.. mcm too dukun la plak) yg dia dapat dari jiran kitorang masa aku kecik2 la. Masa tu mak selalu bentan. For those yg tak tau.. bentan ni penyakit lepas bersalin. aku pun x tau apa scientific name dia .. but as far as I know benda ni boleh happen kalau makan benda2 sejuk macam tembikai la .. nangka le .. nasi sejuk le and boleh kena kat org yg tak tahan je le. Mak aku cakap simpton2 dia .. kepala rasa besar .. sendi2 rasa sakit .. mengigil2 sampai kat kat perut pun mengigil. Kalau dah tahap mengigil critical .. bahayalah .. boleh pendarahan dalam perut especially kalau luka x sembuh betul lagi. Apa yg aku perasan org putih cam bantai je semua benda lepas bersalin .. tapi diorang x de masalah ni. so maybe antibody badan kot. i pun dunno.
Anyway berbalik pasal "poem" tadi. Walaupun susah nak masuk akal tapi "poem" ni dah terbukti berkesan for several ocassion. Of course le kan case mak aku ... sampai dia dapat "poem" ni. Then masa kakak ipar aku bersalin anak kedua .. dia termakan nasi sejuk sebab confuse yg mana nasi baru :p. Puas abang aku baca semua ayat2 quran yg related. baca surah yasin bekali2 n kali minum la .. but still the same. At the end, he call my mum tanya nak buat apa. My mum suruh le try "poem" tu .. and right after my bro baca je poem tu .. my sis terus lega. weird ar .. after that .. my bro did try a few times to his friend's wife and it works. My mum pun ada kasik gak le poem ni kat kawan jiran sebelah. It also work for his daughter yg dok asyik masuk hospital after bersalin.
The weirdest thing is .. i've read the poem .. but could not find anything special about it. I've read n read .. n try to make it logical tapi x dapat gak. Cannot relate how this poem can help utk ubat org yg bentan. Is it just coincidently ?? Actually ada banyak benda lagi yg aku wonder... like my friend cakap atuk dia boleh communicate with his friend yg jauh berbatu2 without any phone.. or ada pencuri masuk rumah dia but x jumpa jalan keluar le. I'm sure there must be some explaination out there. Maybe x sampai masa kita tau lagi kot.
Anyway kat bawah ni le poem ni but my mum cakap syarat dia kena beli poem ni ngn owner dia with 25sen + asam jawa + garam + jarum.
** ganti Mrs X with sapa yg bentan

mana mula berakit
tonggak sangga menyangga
kenapa "Mrs X" bentan urat
hantu sapa menyapa
kalau bertegur dek orang lalu
satu tiarap satu terlentang
masak sekelian tawar
keluar sekelian bisa
kabul mustajap berkat doa
la ila haill allah muhammad dur rasulallah

tired ...

2009-02-01T22:05:00.001+08:00

i feel so tired today ... physically and mentally .. so many thing bother me .. and tmrw I have tow work sigh ..

Twilight

2009-01-31T10:25:00.002+08:00

Aku x sempat nak tgk twilight .. actually din know abt it samapi cik pah tulis kat blog. then I watch the trailer .. nak tgk kat penang dah abis lak. last week i grab the first book and start reading it. Wah .. dah lama x baca buku romance kot.. a perfect gateway bile tgh stress keje. I think the nice thing abt their love .. edward nak sgt makan darah bella .. but at the same times he was so in love with her. And the love prevent him to harm her ... and even prevent anything to harm her. one of the part yg aku suke is when bella+alice+jasper tgh sembunyi dari james and bella keep on worry pasal vampire jahat tu might harm family diorang and its not worth over her.. pastu alice cakap .. what they worry is losing bella sebab it has been almost century edward alone .. and now he found bella so diorang x sanggup tgk edward without bella. Can you imagine how much love edward has for bella sampai even his family pun x sanggup tgk dia losing bella... they said cover buku tu (apple) nak menunjukkan a forbidden love between bella & edward .. interesting aaa..

LOve and Hate continue....

2009-01-21T07:29:00.004+08:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7838465.stm

After reading this article .. i wonder how many love bridge break or dah nak break during the war..

some view from israel & palestine abt the war..

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/08/middle_east_views_on_gaza_ceasefire/html/1.stm

Love and Hate

2009-01-17T16:56:00.003+08:00

I read in BBc, adalah org ni cakap .. the biggest problem about war are not abt the war itself but the effect after the war. Mcm sekarang ni .. israel attack gaza ... lepas ni sure makin hebat kegiatan bom mengbom a.k.a terrorism.. and then the big country start le attack the suspect conuntry sampai nothing left. even most of people will label islam- terrorism. War bring the hatred.
Sometimes aku terpikir .. bila la benda2 ni nak berakhir . x kan le sampai hari kiamat. Israel cakap dia bom pasal Hamas nye terrorism tapi its not only hamas yg meninggal .. civilian pun banyak gak. Kalau la kita nampak a group of people killing our family .. x ke kita akan mempertahankan or kita nak biarkan je family kita semua mati. They see people that they love dying and hatred kan mainan syaitan gak so what people call as terrorism akan lebih banyak either dgn reason for survivol or just simply revenge. pastu war lagi .. uhh it never end. Utk hapuskan terrorism due to religion extremist, kita kena ingat that those people are fighting beyond their own life. They prepare to die and have nothing to lose. Fighting a terrorism with war will never finish but do people really want to fight the terrorism or they just simple use the reason for own benefit.... saya pun x tau ... haiii

----------------------------------

I always relate israel act with judaism which kadang2 pikir mcm x masuk akal. Ye la.. judaism & islam came from the same root so i expect what I get from islam should be almost similar with judaism except for the tauhid part. Tapi what israel did ... are really againt what I understand but tadi baru le saya paham yg zionist is a political and not reliogion view and judaism is againts it. Sama le mcm Islam and muslim extremist. Rasanya zionist is a product of hatred from holocaust while most of muslim-arab extremist is product of hatred from zionist activity. Then the cycles continue. I wonder what start the circle and how to end this circle.

I am Kiasu

2009-01-12T00:24:00.002+08:00

i'm so kiasu ... heheheh ... recently HSBC ada promotion. register, and each 7 swipes min RM30 kita akan dapat voucher Sushi King. Emm .. last month pun ada but for Padini and saya amat bangga ngn achievement saya mencollect voucher itu. SO for this sushi King aku pun nak gak dapat voucher kan.. so what I did? emm I pay my phone bill kat kiosk at night ( so nobody queue) .. so I split my bill for Rm30 .. RM30 .. .for 6 times .. kekekek .. and then kat supermarket, aku prepared mentos utk ditambah incase kalau aku nye groceries tak sampai rm30. and there is one day kat esso aku plan nak split aku nye petrol for RM30 Rm30 .. but tiba2 plak after the first Rm30, nozzle tu x leh nak kuar dari aku nye lubang minyak kete tu. Terpaksa panggil org .. so macam segan le plak nak isi minyak balik kan ... but I'm happy at least I secured the 2 voucher ...hehehehehhe...

Hudud Law

2009-01-10T07:56:00.004+08:00

tiba2 pagi ni teringat lak what my friend say over dinner a few days ago pasal hudud. Selalunya nampak hudud ni kat mana2 tapi malas aku nak kisah sebab ppl make it like political agenda. Dia cakap, kita x sepatutnya implement this hudud law but we should do, is take the approriate law and implement in secular law to improving the secular law. Reason because ppl tend to make use religion either for their own agenda, lacks of knowledge or simply extremist. he give example taliban. He trust Nik Aziz now but what happen after Nik Aziz die. N aku rasa aku setuju le ngn dia cakap until the last part. Aku rasa kat Malaysia ni kita kurang scholar yg benar2 paham tentang situation and we not ready for Hudud law even Nik Aziz. Tapi ni opinion aku je la. For example, fatwa yoga. I've been to 2 Yoga class. The first yoga class that I went was a meditation Yoga kat UK. They asked me to stare a photo of a makcik yg dicakap ada banyak ion positive le ... and ask me to clear my mind. Apa kehalkan .. and I know it not a class I should go. Mcm ada unsur2 pemujaan sebab diorang cakap gambar auntie tu boleh tolong menclearkan mind. Anyway ... i just went for the first class and last year I went to another yoga class. It's just an exercise class ok... no picture whatsoeva and even when we have a step where you put your palm together in front your chest ( mcm statue buddha), my teacher cakap its up to me nak buat ke tak kalau aku rasa benda tu x sesuai. But I do it sebab aku x nampak apa2 pemujaan etc kat situ, we not chanting or idolize anything.. So bila kuar fatwa pasal yoga ni aku mcm pelik. Do those people yg buat fatwa pernah gi kelas yoga or understand mcm mana kelas yoga kat sini. maybe diorng akn cakap utk prevention etc but why dont they do fatwa kat tempat yg lebih manfaat seperti fatwa hisap rokok etc.
emm lagi satu example why aku rasa M'sia x ready is masa sodomy case. How many scholar kat Malaysia can give a good opinion based on Quran & hadith. Most of them amik ayat Quran yg sebut kena ada 4 saksi untuk tuduh org berzina n kalau x kena rotan. Tapi kalau difikir, ayat tu utk org lain menuduh org lain berzina.. dan diturunkan utk mengelak fitnah terhadap org yg x berdosa. kalau dipikir, this sodomy case sama ngn case rogol and didnt mention directly in Quran. So in rape case, if you have 4 saksi yg nampak mangsa kena rogol dont you think most likely saksi tu adalah kuncu2 org merogol or the rogol wont happen because sure 4 people can have enough strength utk prevent dari perogolan tu kan. So in rape case, we should not take that Ayat but there is another ayat yg patut dilihat. Ayat ni kasik hukum suami menuduh isteri dia berzina. So bagi suami tuduh isteri berzina, dia x yah kasik 4 saksi tapi apa yg perlu dia kena bersumpah 4 kali dgn nama Allah yg isteri dia berzina and last sumpah kena cakap di akan dilaknat kalau bohong. And kalau isteri dia x nak ngaku, isteri dia plak kena bersumpah 4 kali yg dia x buat n akan dilaknat kalau bohong. So lepas tu terserah kepada Allah sebab diorang dah bersumpah dengan nama Allah. Takkan le kita rasa kita ni lebih adil dari Allah kan. its not easy for husband utk tuduh isteri dia berzina.. humilation kan.. So amat susah nak berlaku fitnah. Tapi Allah maha hebat .. dia tau manusia ni cunning, so by implement 2 way sumpah ( yg tuduh dan dituduh) kita boleh avoid dari hukum yg tak bersalah. Benda yg kita tak tau, we leave it to Him. So dalam case rape or Saiful's sodomy is the same thing. It wasnt easy for normal people ( normal == not so evil) to claims diri dia dirape or disodomi. Humilation. Bape banyak mangsa rogol yg x report just because of humilation or ancaman dari perogol. So when they have courage to say that dia telah dirogol, we should not make thing harder by asking 4 saksi which for me didnt make sense in rogol case and only applicable when you accuse some else berzina not yourself. but we should implement hukum suami tuduh isteri berzina and terserah pada Allah lepas tu sebab dia lebih tahu apa yg sebenarnya. N lagi, aku baca somewhere that, to accuse someone of a crime, kita x boleh meng invade privacy org. so utk tangkap basah, kita x leh gi mengintip rumah org utk cari org buat maksiat. Those who make maksiat openly barulah kena dihukum. And the main thing of amar makruf nahi mungkar concept not only on law implementation but how to prevent. Sebagai contoh org buat maksiat, JAIS etc instead of selalu buat tangkapan, they should also sit and think why people do it and how to prevent.
aku suke ngn idea2 Dr Asri.. but we need more so they can argue intelligently wth guidance of Quran/Hadith. Aku rasa if we reach a point where we are saturated wth scholar cam Dr Asri, hudud law is feasible but with our current scholar yg lebih Yes Sir, susah nak really berlaku adil. With correct implementation, this law can prevent the crime but it can also cause injustice/human rights issue bila org salah tafsir the Quran law.

Psyllium Husk

2009-01-05T23:04:00.002+08:00

I was reading a book how o get a flat belly with only 8 mins exercise in the morning .. so salah satu dia nye rouine on saturday adalah body cleanse. So dia suggest to get shakes with Psyllium Husk in the morning. Aku pun google le pasal Psyllium Husk ni.. interesting stuff. It help to cleanse your colon n can help on constipation and diarrehea. pastu google le gak pasal mana nak dpt kat mesia ni. In one of the forum, ada org ni cakap, it easy to get in Penang kat little india but local call it as Busi. So, tadi aku gi le little india .. main redah le satu kedai ni. aku tanya le dia .. ada "Busi" x? .. dia cam conpius .. dia panggil le kawan dia tapi kawan dia pun tak tau. aku cakap le utk perut .. utk diarehea .. emm dia tunjuk aku satu daun kering .. aku dah lost hope dah .. aku cakap benda tu kaler putih .. kecik2 .. tetiba mamat tu jalan laju ke satu tempat .. dia amik satu paket benda kat rack .. then tanya aku "Psyllium Husk" ke? I terkedu sat .. hahah . penat aku dok cakap Busi Busi .. when dia pun panggil benda tu Psyllium Husk rather than Busi.
Anyway .. I've tried it tonite .. so far nothing happens .. bt mcm ada physcology ffect that i need more water ...

war

2009-01-04T21:22:00.002+08:00

bila baca pasal crisis gaza sekarang .. kesian. X tau sampai bile diorang akan aman. Memang zalim tapi bile dipikir .. at least the war happen because both ( israel & palestine) are fighting for their existance. Tapi yg aku pelik bile sunni and shia bunuh membunuh sesama sendiri. Tadi baca paper ada lagi suicide bombing yg melibatkan shia/sunni. All this bunuh membunh sesama islam start as early as zaman 4 khalifah and it still continue. Pembunuhan Saidina Othman pun yg sgt kejam and paling teruk the murderer claim themself to be muslim and its lawful to kill Saidina Usman. diorang x ingat ke sacrifice yg Saidina Othman buat masa zaman Rasullah dulu. Mcm tu gak ngn pembunuhan cucu Rasullah. kadang2 nak tau what the murderer really think. Are they doing all this for the sakes of Allah .. or dioarng x tau kisah yg betul ( fitna) ... ataupun they doing this because of greed and hatred ...

Perutku

2009-01-03T22:37:00.003+08:00

Semalam kemas2 bilik jumpa la gamba2 lama .. how I miss the good old days when my tummy is half then now :(. Macam nak jadi vegetarian so all this fat akan go away tapi susahnya. During new year aku dah berazam nak beli bengkung .. tapi bile pakai mcam mengah je.. uhuhuh .. azam tahun baru .. nak kempiskan perut .. sighhh

facebook

2009-01-01T21:26:00.001+08:00

Hari ni aku baru nak blaja upload photo .. and aku sgt teruja nak upload ni .. senang gile dari fotopages ... hahahah ...

Happy new year

2008-12-31T23:19:00.002+08:00

While I'm writing this post ..is 11.30pm 31 Dec 2008. Another 30mins I'll be one year older .. ergghh .. I'm 29.. near to 30.. I don't know until when I'll be doing the exact same thing I've been doing for the past 3 years .. I starting to feel bored with my life .. x tau le if ini adalah sindrom menghampiri 30? Semalam aku borak2 ngn kawan aku. One of the topic yg diborakkan pasal what want to do in our life. Dia cakap .. people that very rich and very poor lebih beruntung. For very rich .. they have the money to do anything they want to do .. for people that very poor they do not have much to lose to do what they want to do. But for middle class ppl like us .. we stuck. We comfortable with our life .. but we not dare to chase our dream because takut dikejar tak dapat .. dikendong keciciran . Bile pikir2 .. btul apa dia cakap .. but bila dipikir lagi .. what I want to do in my life? aku pun tak tau .. Besides my work .. my family and small circle of friend.. i got nothing else. tapi apa yg aku tau .. i envy those people yg ada peluang travel .. emm adakah aku patut jadik pramugari ... kekekekehh .. terpaksa la buat series awan fatimah plak.

gerammmm

2008-12-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

hari ni aku spend nearly a night pasal windows. Apsal windows senang sgt nak kena virus ar ... uhhuhu :(

Korban

2008-12-09T19:58:00.002+08:00

sebenarnya aku terpikir benda ni smlm .. tapi mls btul nak berblogging. Ni berkaitan le ngn ibadat korban kita yg asal usulnya hari nabi ibrahim nyaris2 nak sembelih anak dia. So a few years back, my friedn ask me if i read salman rushdie book. Sememangnya jawaban adalah tidak .. the only book that i have momentum nak baca adalah buku shopaholic :p. So my friend mase tu kinda of bertanya if God ask us to sacrifice our son today, will we do it .. so dlm hati aku pun berpikir2 .. lama tu pikir sampai bape tahun ni... all of this wilingness .. is faith. faith that God knows than us .. faith than God always want the best for us and faith that we belong to Him. Nak cakap memang senangkan .. just "faith" tapi bila pikir2 .. i dont think i have that faith yet. Cennggg .. kita falsh back ke zaman dulu dulu when i was abt to graduate. Masa tu aku dapat offer jadi lecturer but I know I dont want to be lecturer. Dlm masa yg sama .. i really scared if i didnt take it .. i akan menganggur .. sebab dlm masa yg sama i had a hard time even to get internship..I was rejected for all my internship application. I was having this confuse confuse state until a state of depress.. So I was talking to my friend and she suggest me to solat istiharah .. but i still remember what aku cakap ngn member aku tu .. I said .. logically i should take the lecturing .. kat johor dekat ngn parents .. pastu sure2 dapat keje dah xyah menanam anggur... then is good job sebab tolong org n menyebarkan ilmu ..and i told her .. i scared if I do solat istiharah .. God will show me to take the lecturing while aku i don't think i like it... i remember i say it sambil menangis2 ..
to think abt it ... if that time I have faith to Him, I wont think that way .. because he always know the best for me .. tapi case aku ni kire ok le .. mcm 50-50 decision.. tapi bayangkan if u about to marry a handsome, charming, rich, educated, soleh , understanding guy .... dgn erti kata lain perfect la .. pastu buat solat istiharah ... and you get the guide that u should not marry him.. sure lagi confuse kan... i mean our logical brain said is GO.. but faith said NOGO.
pastu aku teringat le satu cete dlm quran (rasenye le dlm quran)... pasal nabi musa. So Allah cakap ngn nabi musa .. ada seorang yg amat bijak .. so nabi musa pun jumpa la org tu. SO dia cakap ngn org tu nak blaja dari dia la .. so Nabi musa pun follow la org tu.. Org tu cakap ok .. tapi x leh question apa yg dia buat. Kalau tanya lebih dari 3 kali dah tak leh ikut. So nabi musa cakap .. ok. So dlm journey dia, org ni buat a few stuff yg nabi musa rasa pelik sebab x mungkin org baik akan buat cam tu.. tapi aku x ingat sangat sequence n detailnya. Kalau x silap org tu bocorkan sampan org miskin .. pasu nabi musa rasa pelik la .. n bertanya la .. apsal ko buat cam tu .. tapi org tu cakap jgn tanya ... then diorang jalan lagi tiba2 .. org tu bunuh sorang budak .. pastu nabi musa tanya lagi .. pastu org tu cakap jgn tanya.. then pastu org tu robohkan rumah org .. pastu nabi musa tanya lagi apsal .. so org tu cakap la .. kerana ko tanya gak .. so lepas ni x leh ikut dah... but he explain le one by one why he did that... pasal sampan tu .. sebab kat seberang sungai ada org kaya yg jahat .. so kalau dia nampak sampan tu elok .. dia akan rampas.. so by bocorkan sampan tu .. org jahat tu x kan amik sampan org miskin... pastu lagi 2 benda tu aku pun lupa pasal apa :p.. korang cari le ..tapi kesimpulan yg aku nak cakap ialah .. aku rasa cete dlm quran ni .. actually indirectly telling us that although thing might be so clear to us .. but we only human .. so maybe there is some thing we can't understand .. so must have faith on people that know it better .. and know it all .. so indirectly saying .. must have faith on Him.

sin on praying mat

2008-12-03T07:20:00.002+08:00

semalam i work late .. so nak solat maghrib kat opis. Masa aku masuk kat surau .. ada le sorang budak ni tgh dok cakap kat tepon on praying mat. maybe dia tgh tunggu maghrib la. dari aku masuk sampai la aku keluar .. she continue bitching abt her hsemate ... semua benda la kuar.. hahahah ... aku pun nak tak nak terpaksa la pasang telinga kan .. dah dia cakap agak kuat .. ye la org tgh meluahkan perasan .. aku paham perasan tu :p. Anyway .. what she said abt her hsemate more a less lebih kurang sama la with mine .. just i think mine .. is more nampak innocent .. pretend she innocent which sometimes I'm confuse untill my mum a.k.a detective conan ( gelaran yg adik aku kasik kat mak) yg membongkar segala misteri .. Do lots of people have problem with their hsemate? ... i went to my friend engagement last saturday .. she also told me almost similar case with her ex-hsemate. They halau her out sebab dah x tahan .. anyway ... this not my point ... my point is sometimes when we actually live with those bad people ... sometimes without we realizing we became one ... hahahaha .. the simple example is us. Me and my other hsemate. Kadang2 .. kitorang saja je masak and x pelawa dia makan ada unsur yg nak buat dia terliur ngn apa yg kitorang masak. .. and we talk to each other not involve her. My other hsemate pernah raise the question... rasa2 nya berdosa x kita buat dia macam ni... so aku cakap le .. secara theory mesti la berdosa.. tapi its theory.. aku x leh buat .. its hard to follow the theory unless we ask her to go out from the hse. We do all the stuff yg dia buat kat kitoarng .. sebab kitorang nak dia rasa cam mana. tapi dia cam x paham2 .. pelik. x kisah what our intention is .. or who start first.. in other word .. we already became like her. One of the thing yg budak pompuan yg aku jumpa kat surau tu ada cakap .." aku dah tak kira .. aku nak jadik setan dah".
I remember what my friend told me last time abt bad relationship between husband and wife. If a wife or husband find out that his partner is having an affair .. and if he/she didnt come out from the relationship ... he/she might end up doing the same thing as his partner. I think it might be true

Lucky Draw

2008-11-29T00:55:00.003+08:00

Hari ni guek ada annual dinner. Kalau ikut hati malas nak gi .. but the lucky draw amatla menarik. 32 inch plasma tv, wii, psp, air purifier , dan bermacam2 lagi .. so tabahkan la hati gi jugak.tapi sgt sedih sebab uhuhuh .. balik bawak door gift je :(. Sepanjang hidup saya .. ada 3 kali dapat lucky draw .. tapi all pun x lucky :(. The first one masa high scholl dinner. My number di annouce tapi aku dok kat changing room and my friend could not find the book sebab aku letak kat bawah meja. so hilang le aku nye lucky draw. My second time masa gi kutip sampah kat tanjung bunga. I got hair dryer .. tapi balik rumah aku try,dia nye kepala plug 2 pin tu terus terkangkang .. uhuhuhh .. tu ar sapa suruh diorang beli cap ayam. :( ... and my last lucky draw .. i was suppose to get ipod shuffle.. but when they wnat to annouce the winner, one of the guy return his lucky draw. So when my name was annouce, instead of getting the shuffle ... i got magic lamp .. uhuhuhhuu. Am I destined to get not lucky draw ... :(