what your definition of happiness

Tadi tgk drama melayu - dia atilia. So couple ni just found out yg wifenya pregnant n give the good news to their parents. Of course the parents are super duper happy. My friend tetiba asked .. " Bila la kita nak kasik this good news to our parents..and asked my mum ... makcik suka x kalau imah kasik news ni ". My mum nak jawab but can't seems to find the correct answer so the question just left hanging. I respect my mum for not saying yes or at least try to think abt it.

I felt that getting married/getting pregnat is not marker yg boleh indicate your kids happiness and we should not impose that idea & our hope to kids. Of course we should feel happy if somehow our kids decide to get marry or they are expecting a baby etc but should not put that as a checklist of our own happiness.  I think parents should feel happy for all the thing that your kids achieved doesnt matter what is it as long as the kids are growing ( bukan memanjang ya .. but  growing la).. A small milestone in your kids life should be our big happiness. 

I noticed, when the kids is baby, all parents are super duper excited with the kids growth. Everything is super zoom especially for the first kids. Excited with our kids first words la .. our kids boleh meniarap la .. etc. But as they grow older especially when they finish their college, parents will stop to notice n celebrate those meaningfull milestone moment. We look for something more material like married la, baby la, buying car la , buying hse la...
 Like having a baby, the first happiness should base on the fact that our kids will have their wonderful parenting experience instead of we will have our OWN grandkid.

And if i'll become a parents one day, I hope i still believe the most important is what they want in their life n what make them happy. Of course something yg purely right la as I believe people will only be happy forever if they doing the right things. Purely right must be something that we really believe by heart .. not something we give our own excuses so that it will be right ( ok .. bullet to myself).

And I prayed n i hope that my kids will find someone that they can share their dreams and someone that can help ease their emotion burden. But if somehow fate decide that they doesnt have opposite partner, I'll die happily if their life is surrounded by good people that will always cherish them.

So in another 35 years if i still alive n someone asked me similar question ... my answer will be . "Seeing how they growing for the past 30 years is already happiness to me". Why 35? hahahah... another 5 years ... married or not, i plan to hv a kids. bukan bayi tabung uji etc but plan for adoption. I dont want to lose that parenting experience and i really hope my parents are happy with my decision.

20 sen

Tadi masa kat tesco aku beratur belakang makcik. Agak tua la dalam 40 plus near 50. Makcik tu bayar dlm cash so ada la balance. Masa cashier tu nak pulangkan balance, cashier tu terjatuh duit syilling 20 sen. Cashier tu dok bongkok cari tapi x jumpa. As ada orang beratur untuk bayar So dia cakap la " sekejap ya. 20 sen terjatuh". Makcik tu boleh merengus dgn agak kuat n muka masam gila. And while the girl scan my Stuff makcik tu tunggu je. Adoiiii makkk. Gila terkejut aku. It just 20 sen n the girl bukan sengaja pun. Pelik tapi benar.

POW vs POS

While in war museum, there was a few photo pasal POW - prisoner of WAR. They were force to wear only cawat. I guess, its not only due to safety/no clothes etc but also as one of humiliation to them. Normal people wear a proper attire while they were force to be half naked.
But now being in half naked seems to be something to be proud of... You can see in the sports, in the beach ... and those with a good body are eagerly to show it off.
The different between both, one is done out of freedom while the other is done due to no freedom..

POW - prisoner of WAR

POS- Prisoner of sport?

Patut kah?

Hari ni ada member tumpang gi keja. Normally bila dia tumpang pergi masa balik pun sama la. At 6.27 rasa dah x larat nak wat keje, i called my friend but he didnt pick up. So i went to prayer room dulu. I called again after prayer tak angkat gak n aku tunggu la kat prayer room sambil main games. After near half n hour, aku call lagi but x pick pun. Setelah mentry banyak kali baru la dapat go through but can't really hear sebab reception. But I heard bunyi noise suara2 orang which aku merasakan dia dah balik. Tetiba rasa geram even actually bukan aku melangut pun. Aku dok main games sambil tunggu dia reply call. Try to console myself that he going through lots of thing but somehow masih geram lagi. I perform my Maghrib prayer and try call him again but x dapat. Last sekali aku SMS yg cakap balik dulu. But till 12 midnite no reply etc. Tetiba I got a SMS tanya if I go for our friend open hse. He didn't even brought up why he didn't pickup my phone yg mana aku nya miscall ada dalam 14 kali. Rasanya aku geram bukan pasal masa yg dibuang tunggu dia pun but more on aphal dia boleh lupa nak inform aku dia dah balik. Am I so insignificant?

New gadget

Suka suka suka. Last Friday Aku telaha berjaya dapatkan iPhone pilihan hati. Penat dowh Tunggu 3 jam for the phone but it really worth it. Wonder why it took me too long to decide to hv smart phone. I like the apps. N now i understand better how create a good apps that can sell. Your games must be not too hard so people can level up but not to easy that people doesnt feel boring. Then kena ada trial version. So in short, it not an easy money. In another hand , my hse mate parents Ada Kat sini n the main reason they come early instead of during awal Muharram bcos they want to go and see ustaz lokman for perubatan Islam. I google little bit about it and it a bit interesting. In my family only my mum had this kind of experience where she become like some one else. Last time it happen 25 years back and I still remember the event roughly. Ingat yg my uncle sembunyi belakang Pintu. But for this ustaz lokman the queue is too long. My Hsemate queue for the number yesterday for like 2 hours n today even with the number she has to wait for 3 hours n yet the number not even Started. Lots of people rupanya ada sakit. I heard the main clinic in gombak fully booked for this year. The next available appointment is in April next year. She told me Ada pelbagai penyakit n even Ada yg kena cancer. Emm I wonder if cancer can be cure using this mistik medical. Even the biggest tok guru went to stanford for heart operation.

a regret event..

tadi gi giant nak beli some groceriess. masa nak balik kat kete tetiba ada ah so ni dtg dekat ngn kete. she say something which wasnt really clear but i think i can guess what she want. but instead of giving what i think she want, i say " ha?" ... and now she has to come near me.. and say "saya x cukup duit.. boleh mintak 3 ringgit".  and i hate what i did at that moment.. without a smile face... but with a face yg tergesa2, i open my handbag n grab 3 ringgit n pass to her. quickly i masuk kete and lock my door. And only then my sense come to work. For a person to put down their pride n asked for a money.. it already hard enough.. why i make it harder for them? what harm an auntie can do to me.. worst come to worst she just grabbed my handbag n i think i still can win the fight. i think it will brighten her more if at least i smile sincerely .. and she even wish me selamat hari raya...  i hate my self.. sometimes my sceptical are too extreme that i dont care people feeling... i wish i should have less prasangka buruk :(..

Ibu

sangat sedih .. n sgt terasaaa..