Another chapter of life

Insya allah something new will happen to my life next year. I promised my friend to wrote down every details of it. I blogged abt chasing aurora end of last year. I wrote that i was going for travel that wasn't in my travel plan at all. I doesn't like winter & cold but fate divert me to Iceland when my project got cancel and I have friend that planning to go to Iceland during that time. Even for my friend, the initial plan was to spend thanksgiving on train ride across US but it was change to Iceland due to some advertisement pop up that make my friend believe that was a sign. What sign exactly, at that time we don’t know. That happen somewhere in Jun/July which I always tease my friend maybe there will be a real “aurora” there.

There were few route to Iceland and I end up choose stopover in Edinburgh as one of my close friend when i was in Penang just started her PHD there. I remember my promise to send her off in KL but due to work, i didn't. So I decided to pay her visit. Initially i plan to land in London as it has cheaper flight fare & I so wanted to run in Hyde park ( One of the thing i regret not doing during my UK time), but due to limited time, hassle to go to airport, I decided just stop at Edinburgh. So all planned and booked.

 A few days before my departure date, I got to know about a colleague who got a job in UK. I wasn’t close with him so I didn’t know where he go. Somehow during lunch break another friend gossip about that and I got the company name. I did try to apply for a UK job last 2 years when i decided to move from my previous company. However the results wasn’t favour me and to be honest at that time i wasn’t ready. I want to go because I have a very close friend that got job there and I envy him but at the same time my heart still doesn’t want to go. It not want I really want. I still love my new house, i doesn’t want to experience the loneliness.. yadayada.. Anyway mid last year after German trip, the desire to go out from Malaysia to experience new life is increasing. During a medical checkup, I got to know that I had a small tumour in my liver. After further evaluation, it diagnose as not cancerous. But the experience of going through that make me realise I wasn’t fully utilise my life. Allah is so kind to give me reminder that anything can happen, that tumour can be cancerous. So after come back from German, I did try to apply to either UK or europe job.. but NIL. All required me to have working visa. I kind of give up and follow the flow of my current life. So when I know this guys got a job in UK, so I know that company is willing to give visa sponsorship. So that night, i went home, being a curious little girl as I am, i google the website. Found, click the career link and i saw there still have opening. The opening is in Edinburgh and I’m going to Edinburgh. What a coincidence. A day before my departure date I was working late to enable some checks. While waiting for my simulation to complete, i update my resume and applied for the job. That just about 1 day before my departure date.

I remember during that period that I really want to change. I even register for Germany class while waiting for my flight so that it ease me to get job in German which some of friend said no need, because germany speak english but I don’t care. I just want to close any gap that I might have.

So when i reach Edinburgh, i got an email for THE company. Asking what is my contact number so that they can call me for interview. I replied the email and he arranged an hour phone interview the week after because I had to travel to Iceland plan the next day. In Iceland, i met my friend and told and even show my friend the email that I got (excitedly). After not seeing each other for like 9 months, what i got was a “SCOLD”. My friend was so angry at me on how I replied the email and the fact that I settled with phone interview when next week I actually in Edinburgh and the company are in Edinburgh and as bonus — I’m bad at conversation. So I had to re-write and re-send my reply to ask if they want to see me face to face instead. The interviewer was so kind to arrange my onsite interview and it just happen the hiring Manager was on site on the schedule date. So that guy help to re-arrange 3 interview back to back for me. 

The interview went well.. and i got the job. It was so unexpected. I guess this is what Allah plan for me. He know my little heart desire, my fear & my doubt. He only grant it when i’m ready and really want it. So far, except for my house, the whole process has been smooth and easy. My mom was staying with me most of the time but due to this changes in my life, she has to go back home town for now and coincidently my younger sis who currently stay there, got her new house. So she moving out her stuff out from my mom’s house so my mum can has a comfortable time when she in Malaysia.

I hope and pray my life in Edinburgh will give a different meaning and bring a different perspective of life. 

Halal?

A friend was telling me that he felt organic chicken is better than halal chicken. Halal chicken, although the concept suppose not to let the animal suffer but sometimes he felt it wasnt sincere. After talking to him, i googled abt  halal and organic chicken. To my surprise, there are lots of debate abt halal chicken. There are some of even say, if it not organic, it wasnt halal. The current halal law only dictate how the chicken die but the correct halal chicken dictate how chicken should live their life and die. They must not suffer. The current comercial chicken live in a small cramp area and the light is only off for like 1-2 hours to let the chicken grow faster. This is crime againts the chicken. Uhhh complex ar. Actually the are lots more. Like stunning or not stunning etc which i still didnt has any opinion. After reading i have a feeling, i agreed with what being said abt non organic is unlikely halal. But the thought of buying expensive chicken and the thought of not eat chicken outside and the thought of no kfc is killing me. I can't do it. It make me wonder how much i care abt halal. Do i eat what halal now because it easy? What if, it wasnt easy. Will i still go for halal option?

Nasi padang International

One of my favourite place in Penang. I dont really like ikan jacket, blame to high school experience but here the ikan jacket is so sedap!!!!  My favourite dishes will be this ikan jacket, sambal hijau tempe & bilis, siput masak lemak, ulam selasih and all the sambal. To pair with this, order sirap limau ais. Even during hot day, this shop still not so hot. The only drawback is sometimes hard to get parking and table. 

This shop located at transfer road. Very near to roti canai transfer road. Closed on Monday. Open from 11am to 3pm. But ikan jacket may only avalaible from 12pm onwards 

Bye bye 2015. Welcome 2016

2015 just end yesterday.In a good, brighter side, I had two big vacation in 2015, both in Europe.. broke my bank account but both trip is worth it. Loss some weight compare to 2014. (Yea!!). I joined creative drama class. All of my class mate were way younger and most of them is study in private or international school. I had so much fun laughing with them. Although i still kayu same level where i start but i learn something else. I see how my teacher break the boundary between each student. I think it's a good place to send kids to socialise there. I started to join the weekly teach at the road side. Still learning... It's hard to break the boundary.. sigh
In not so good side, health does not seems to be very good this year. Found something in my liver.. it wasn't dangerous but need to monitor every year. Had a back pain to the point that i can not pray normal but lucky it eventually ok. But now and then i feel not comfortable in my leg. i think it due to my back pain.. so now need to start exercise to strengthen my body :(
Start pre mid life crisis, questioning lots of thing in my life.. as one of the results, I didn't join any running event this year as i don't see why i do it .. hahaha. Not much that i has achieve in 2015... :(. Hopefully thing will be better in 2016. I started my 2016 with a good step ... shopping new running shoe. Yeah but i do run today to test it :). So here my azam 2016
- Do more travel. Learn better photography skills as my friend has been complaint abt it. I challenge myself to do 100 days of Penang as a starting.
- i hope to compete one half marathon with a better timing (3h) and aim to join full marathon in 2017.
- Plan to learn one language. For now is german but it may change .. hahahaha
- Improve my impression in acting, speak slowly & clear and able to conquer my fear of stage.
- Start joining toast master : master my communication skill.
- Join volunteer in teaching to learn how to understand the kids & get your message across to the kid.
Hopefully i can achieve this in a year time. We shall has a mid year review.

University life

I read an article saying due to increase cost, nowadays most of student only eat once a day. Although it most probably true but sometimes i felt people didnt know they priority. I have my own experience in university. My late father stop working when i just finish SPM. We literally has no family income as my mum only housewife. My elder brother is an army but he has his own family to handle and being a normal army he dont earn that much either. My elder sister get married before i start my university time and she also a housewife. I still remember my first semester yuran was paid using my sister's wedding duit hulur. She dont take it for honeymoon or use for her stuff but instead my mom take it to pay for my yuran. At that time it was around rm1800. I survived my first semester with my own saving before i got my jpa scholar. Jpa didnt pay much either but it enough for me to buy a meal, nasi, ayam, sayur which cost me max rm2.50. So total i spend rm5 for food everyday. Although some ppl complaint not enough but for me it more than enough that i can still buy some books ( not only photocopy books but real book), watch movie once or twice a semester and go out maybe once a month. During my time, still got people complain not enough and still got people starve. Why? I cannot deny there is some who are kind   enough, send some money back home. I dont need to do that because my mum got her own saving to put food on the table for my younger sis n bro and when my younger brother enter utm, he join palapes which he earn some money to cater his better n richer life. So how do i manage it with that jpa money. 

1. I don't have mobile phone. At that time the famous is alcatel. Although it so tempting but after i count the initial investment and monthly investment to op up the credit, i know i just can't have it. I phoneless for my entire 4 years. 

2. I dont own transport. I dont need to pour petrol. I took university bus when i was stay outside and i walked when i stay inside. 

3. I decide to stay inside after 1 semester try livibg outside. Money flow like water when u live outside. The reason because the daily eat outside and roti tissue. It increase my daily meals for something that not important. Utility bills as well. 

4. I dont fall into the addictive of chatting. At my time, chatting or mirc is a big huha. Who dont want to chat and make new friend? . I calculate and the amount of money to spend on internet is something i cannot bear. My first year roomate spend almost daily in internet cafe and starve as the money spend on that

5. I eat inside university and most of time opt for nasi campur. Reason because it cheaper and i can mix the gravy to make it something that nice. I dont buy chocolate for my snacks and i rarely buy sweet drinks. 

My final year roommate do almost some like what i done above except she has her own mobile phone. She also dont have money problem. So i think most of the time, eating outside is the killer. In intel, i also eat inside because it hot outside. One meals in 4.50 - one chicken, 2 vege n rice. I guess university food should be around that price. 

Of course outside food is way nicer, able to eat mc donald whenever i want is nicer, snacking chocolatd rather than biscuit kering is nicer, watch movie every week is nicer, able to hang out with friend every night at mamak also nice, able to sms your friend abt gossip, abt homework is nice, has your own transport also nice, but as i dont want to work or rather lazy to work n i dont want to join palapes either, so i have to stop all my desire. When my niece was accepted to university, my bro actually concern abt how much money that is enough for her. I told him, just with jpa or ptptn should be enough if she know how to spend wisely. But my younger bro said, kak mah lain la. Kak mah nerd. Yes it my choice to be nerd to reduce all the cost. I cut lots of thing during my university. Naturely i like to go out but i have to keep that down and replace by walking around utm faculty. During a stress time or after exam, i just buy a connetto and walk around either go to different college or go different faculty. Sometimes i go to my friend's room and hang out there which some of my roomate find it a bit annoying as i stay out longer than in my room. Hahahah i'm very sorry for cause any issue in the past.  That's my way to enjoy little life that i have with the little money that i have. To be honest, it wasnt something i 100% proud as well. If given opportunity to rewind the time, i dont know if i will do differently by taking a part time job, so i can use that money to experience other activity because looking back, i dont earn much life experience during uni time. But for sure i wont whine abt ptptn not enough as i'm pretty sure it enough if we really do the basic what need to do to get a degree. I tried that. Yes. My time is like 15 years ago but at that time some ppl also suffer because they spend money on unneccesery thing but dont want to earn more money to cater for that. If you cannot handle your university life where most of you dont have another mouth utk kasik makan, how can you survive working life. The temptation is even bigger.  

Blue ball

I was waiting in front of traffic light and saw a blue ball bergolek2 at the other lane. There lots of reason why the ball should not be there.  It getting dark in a few hours and ppl might not see it. And it a ball which are not static so wind can make it move. Even if all above not happening, some one might be less alert and didn't see the ball.  I know in my heart i have to go out and take the ball else someone might bump into accident. But somehow it took me 5 mins to think abt it. I afraid if i go out later the traffic light become green and ppl will honk me la. I scared later ppl didnt see me and langgar me while i take the ball la. But when i think abt it, the real reason is indifference. The ball does not cause me any trouble but might be someone else. So why must i do extra work to take the ball. Yeah.  At that moment i felt no different with people who just keep quiet when they see innocent ppl being killed or being bullies or when they turn over their back when a ship full of refugee come to ask for help. Yes. No different. Slowly i take off my seat belt and run towards that ball. It just took less than a minutes and nothing harm happen to me. It a small achievement but at least a step to a better huminity. And i'm wrong. It does impact me. I felt better knowing i might save someone from accident. And i know i will feel regret if i didnt take the ball and tmrw i heard in news someone father passed away in accident bcos of the ball. 

Believe in god?

I was reading a news on the interfaith dialog that happen recently. The writer also raised how this different from uitm seminar that discuss abt threat of Christianisation in malaysia. After reading this article, i have my me time thinking abt this from my car park to my house. To be honest sometimes i felt most people confuse between christian/judaism with the secular. I personally felt that all this 3 religion islam, christian and judaism has almost 90% similar. That 10% different mostly with regards to the main person in the religion itself - prophet muhammad saw and jesus. These religion has the same concept of believing god, compassion, kindness, and not to forget history of war. Most of what we muslim felt as sin is the same sin that list down in christian or jewish's book.  At the same time i also dont agree if christian pointing finger to us said islam is spread using sword. History shows christian involved in lots of war as well. When i was in scotland it was said that mackinsey indirectly kill 18k of people that didnt believe in christian that he believe. Does religion to be  blame? 

I once talk to a friend who dont believe in God. For him what i felt is God creation is just nature. What i felt is God comforting me just a nature thing inside you that know thing will be ok. When i give how complete our body system compare to thing that we design, for him maybe God did create the first starter but now is all just nature. Why he want to bother to god that dont have anything to do with  his life now. Yeah, it hard conversation.  We dont have any conclusion at the end. People believe what the want to believe. 

 I think the main threat of islam is very near to us and it not christian. I'm not sure how to label it but it all arround us. Advertisement, Instagram, facebook , tv are all the main source. It draw us to that all the deadly sin like proud, jealousy, greed, gossip. And we do it everyday without feel wrong abt it. When i step at my hse door, it even cross my mind, last week the whole country is talking abt GV. And almost all muslim was watching  except those like me who dont have astro. Don't get me wrong. If i got astro i also will watch. Hahhahaaha. Does that a correct thing?

Anyway, after change to my house attire, i switch on tv and watch perception.You  know the interesting was, yesterday story is abt a guy that can hear god voice and a family that believe in God vs the Dr that dont believe in God. Interesting ar? Is this really nature or God interfere? I do have more story which what i felt is god visibilty in my life but will share next time. For me, all the thing that happen to me, it cannot be the nature alone. How the nature even know abt what happen to your life vs the other's life. How one life is connected to help each other. Someone must know all this details. Nature is like random generator but not God. Everything happen for a reason