My first speeding ticket!!

Ok.. this happen last month but I think worth to jot it down for my own memory and for other ppl lesson as well. I never really scared of speed trap as I'm not the speedy type.. I do sometime exceed speed limit for 20/30/40mph limit but initially I thought it was OK.. Everyone seems to be speeding. 20mph is too slow and it really hard to control. While for 30mph/40mph, coming from 20mph to 30/40mph is OK but when you just come from 60mph/70mph, slowing down will be little bit hard. Sometimes you feel bad of slowing down because u kind of blocking car behind you as well. That what i thought until ....
So last September i have been doing roadtrip from Scotland to Heathrow for a week. Tetiba2 balik rmh ada letter with Cumbria stamp on my doorstep. It was a notice of intended prosecution. Apparently my car was caught speeding 36mph in 30mph area and they want to know who is driving it. You will get 3 point for speeding and 6 point if you didn't response. There is option to take speed awareness class if your speed is within acceptable violation and you haven't take the class in the past 3 years. For 30mph, it will be below 42mph (it is not free btw). I have been googled and there is this guy who get 2 speeding ticket from the same camera on the same day!!!.  As it consider 2 different violation so he has to take the class and also get 3 point. OMGGG.. I'm getting scared. As new driver, if I get 6 point and more I have to retake my license. Getting license in UK is not easy... I failed once before get my license and it is not cheap/easy either to get instructor especially automatic car. There will be a lots of complication if my license being revoke because learner can't drive car without supervision of someone who had the license for 3 years, so who going to take care my car? I have no one here.  So the thought of getting 6 point was really scary.
I had been on the road for 1 week and that letter was from my first day of roadtrip, I really worry if I get another 2 letter, The next 2 weeks was the longest time i ever feel.  Every time i reached home, i prayed there is no letter on the door. Lucky it wasn't and not long after that I got letter which tell me that I'm eligible for speed awareness class so I can take it instead of getting the points. Thanks God. However as England & Scotland have different rules so I have to take the class in England. All the booking was done online and it quite efficient. Finally i can rest but since then I have been try to figure out the solution so the same problem didn't occurred again.  I have installed Tom Tom on my phone but I'm not sure why but there is no sound on the speed limit. Then I tried to figure if it possible to upgrade my car to enable speed limit warning on my car's build in GPS. After so many googled, only then I knew that my car do have cruise control which I can limit my speed. It not intelligent as you have to manual set the limit you want but I think it will help... Apparently it take a speeding ticket for me to figure out my car have cruise control :p (when i first get the car, a friend asked if i have cruise control which i told them no, i don't have).. There is always a silver lining in everything.

For those driving in UK, just be careful when driving in 30mph area as the speed camera do exist. For speed average camera, don't just slow down when you see the camera as they calculate the time on each snapshot to get your average speed. The penalty is real in UK not like in Malaysia.

Resipi pau - paste from other website

https://norazlitaaziz.blogspot.com/2015/09/pau-kacang-merah-gebu-dan-sangat-sedap.html
1 kg tepung pau  atau tepung gandum
1 sudu teh baking powder
Kedua-dua bahan di atas di ayak bersama

1 sudu teh garam
1/2 cawan minyak jagung atau minyak masak
2 1/4 cawan air
11 gm yis
1 sudu makan gula
2 sudu makan susu pekat manis
1 biji telur

Satukan bahan di atas dan kacau hingga gula larut
Masukkan tepung ke dalam mangkuk besar
Tuangkan adunan cecair sedikit-sedikit sambil di uli hingga menjadi doh yang lembut dan tidak melekat di tangan. Tutup doh dengan kain dan biarkan 5 minit. Ambil sedikit doh dan bulatkan sebesar bola pimpong ( anggaran berat 35 gm ). Kemudian leperkan. Masukkan inti yang telah di bulat-bulatkan sebesar guli ( anggaran berat 12 gm ). Tutup dan kemaskan
Letakkan doh atas lapik kertas minyak yang di potong segi empat atau bulat, atau letakkan atas paper cup yang di leperkan sedikit

Inti 

1 kg kacang merah besar ~ basuh bersih dan rendam sebentar
1700 ~ 2000 gm gula pasir ~ manis bergantung pada selera, lebih gula inti tahan lebih lama
1 kg minyak jagung
garam secukup rasa
Tepung gandum secukupnya
1 helai daun pandan ~ di simpul

Kacang yang kita dah rendam tadi cuci bersih
Rebus kacang hingga mendidih.
Tutup api dan biarkan periuk bertutup selama 2 hingga 3 jam. Anda akan dapati kacang akan mengembang besar.
Rebus semula hingga kacang lembut
Bila kacang dah lembut angkat biarkan sejuk sebentar. Air rebusan jangan buang ia di gunakan untuk kisar kacang
Bila dah sejuk, kisar kacang dengan air rebusan (jangan banyak ya, sekadar untuk kisar kacang) dan kisar kacang hingga halus
Masukkan kacang dan daun pandan ke dalam kuali, Kacau sampai mendidih
Kemudian masukkan gula
Lepas tu masukkan garam halus secukup rasa lemaknya.
Bila dah mendidih , berkilat dan sebati, masukkan minyak
Kacau sampai minyak betul-betul sebati dengan kacang
Biarkan ia mendidih dan agak likat
INGAT! guna api yang kecil sahaja supaya kacang tidak hangit.
Kacang yang hangit akan memberikan aroma dan rasa yang kurang enak
Sentiasa kacau jangan sampai berkerak
Kemudian ambil tepung gandum anggaran 1/2 cawan dan ayakkan atas adunan kacang sambil sebelah tangan lagi mengacau
Ayak tepung sikit-sikit sambil di kacau
Bila adunan tidak melekat pada kuali atau mula melekang dari kuali, maka masaklah inti kacang ni tadi
Bolehlah tuang dalam bekas dan sejukkan
Simpan dalam peti ais ( Chiller ) untuk tahan lama

http://daridapurmiza.blogspot.com/2015/05/pau-ayam-gebu.html

Inti ayam

3-4 ketul dada ayam, dipotong dadu halus
3 biji kentang dipotong dadu
1/2 biji bawang besar, didadu
1cm halia ditumbuk halus
2 biji bawang putih diketuk
1/2 paket serbuk kari daging
2 sb sos tiram
Garam gula secukup rasa

Cara:
1. Panaskan minyak dalam kuali. Tumiskan bawang besar, bawang putih dan halia.sampai naik bau. Masukkan rempah kari. Biar garing sikit.

2. Masukkan ayam dan kentang. Masukkan air sikit. Biar sampai ayam dan kentang empuk dan air kering. Masukkan perasa.

3. Biarkan sejuk sebelum dibuat inti.

Post - Second Merdeka

Few days before election and the first 2 days after election, the feeling was SOOO good. You feel happy reading all the news and seeing Malaysian is united again towards the same goal.. But today, reading the news and comment.. i felt sad again.. Do we still have hope for new Malaysia? Story of jumping is still being heard although now at the opposite direction. What difference it made? Same old people with different logo? Why can't we have 2 strong and good party like democrats & republican?

I guess people are united when they at the moment of crisis and now we see hope, the old self come back again..

Tribute to Mahathir

Malaysian is creating history.. for the first time we have the non-BN as our government and guess what .. Mahathir become our prime minister again. I didn't manage to vote this year. I registered as postal vote and the package reach me on 8th May around 2pm and the last person who depart from Heathrow was at 2.20pm. But it really amazing that Malaysian are together wanting a change. I hope under PH malaysia will become GREAT!.. There are a few new leader that I hope can give a fresh air to Malaysia. We had too many of arrogant and kiss ass minister in previous government. But special thanks to Tun Dr Mahathir.. He putting aside his age and even his ego to fight for the country. It really sad to see him staying late, going to many places for campaign. It must give him a lots of toll. I can see how tired he is during the swearing in ceremony. I hope he help can appointed a correct people this time and help to correct what has been done wrong. Since 15 years he has step down, i don't see any new development for Malaysia.. it become more famous for MH and 1MDB. Money get spending without any new thing.
I always adore him.. Yeah he might be a bit egoistic, cunning and might be power hungry but above all, i know he love Malaysia from the deep of his heart. He was so love the country that he willing to step down albeit his power hungry to avoid Malaysian get divided. He is one of visionary ppl that i have known in Malaysia. Sometimes maybe his vision may be burden by his love towards muslim & malay but he the best we have so far. Tun abdullah said, the problem about Mahathir, there is only one way and that is Mahathir way. But i think the truth is, we don't have leader that can think like him..

Health

My friend put up a status "alhamdulilah" in facebook.. My first guess, she get promoted or move company or something like that (materialistic mind.. iskh) I asked her .. turn out, she going through nightmare of possibility of having breast cancer and just got the news it negative. Then it just struck me.. sometimes we  try to find happiness by looking/wanting something that we currently don't have while the fact of losing something we currently have is even worst.. We should start appreciate our health.. Ok esok panjat arthur seat!!!

Jodoh

When i first came to Penang, i accidentally met my UTM classmate in Ramadan buffet. At that time, i was looking for house to stay. He give me a contact of his friend's girlfriend, Sarawakian who also looking for housemate. At the same time. my schoolmate give me another contact of a Kakak who also looking for housemate. I'm contacted both and went to see the "kakak" house first.  Kak Nurul was super friendly and her house was comfortable. After some consideration, i decided to just stay with Kak Nurul without even seeing the Sarawak girl. One of the reason because as that Sarawakian already had a boyfriend, it will just a matter of time i have to find another housemate. Fast fwd few years... I already move to 2 different house. My housemate after Kak Nurul was my high schoolmate Nani. As she getting married, i have to look for another house... so i move to Relau's house. There are 3 of us but i never see the 2nd girl as she was in Japan for like maybe a year. When she come back to Penang, we become close... and one day during our small talk, i told her when i first came to Penang, i stay in equatorial for 2 weeks. The story sound  familiar to her.. and to cut the story short, she the Sarawakian that i suppose to see but i never do. Apparently my friend was giving wrong info, she wasn't anyone girlfriend but just a colleague. It was funny how our friendship start with long detour. Bak kata orang.. kalau jodoh x kemana.
Last year, i just knew that i have long distance relative in Edinburgh. When we decided to meet for dinner, she bring a small boy. I was quite surprise that she already had a kid but turn out the kid was her friend's kid who currently went back to Malaysia for something urgent. The husband and kid still in Edinburgh. My relative  hel to babysit the kid when the father went to work. i also met the kid's father who sent me back home after the dinner. Last week, when taking train back to Edinburgh suddenly there is 2 girl sit in front of me. Both are malaysian, so we chat. Turn out, one of the lady was the kid's mother.. I can't believe meeting her in the train. Hahahahha. another kalau jodoh x kemana.

Burn Night

This was an overdue post but i think i should wrote something before i totally forgot. Every year on 25th Jan, there will be celebration for Burn's birthday which called Burn Night. So who the hell is this Burn? He was Scottish poet which some of his poem become lyric for the song. Among the famous was Auld Lang Syne which will be sing during new year. He wrote poem about everything that happen in his life even as silly as Haggis poem. So during this night, the organiser will recite some of Burn's famous poem, Haggis will be served and it will end with everyone sing the Auld Lang Syne together. I joined of the meet-up group to celebrate this night. It just simple night but it does open my eye on some of thing. I just knew, Scottish English and Gaelic is two different language..  Some of Burn's poem is really good. I like his poem called A red, read rose and Ae Fond Kiss. It so pure and moving.. or maybe because these easier to understand compare to other poem :p... One of snippet from Ae Fond Kiss that i like and you can feel his pain..

Had we never lov'd sae kindly
Had we never lov'd sae blindly
Never met or never parted
We had ne'er been broken-hearted.

Mungkin patut buat poem jugak .. hahaha nk kalahkan mono. :)

lemon butter cake

Copy and tested from : 
https://phonghongbakes.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/lemon-butter-cake.html

Mixture A :

250g butter at room temperature 

80g fine sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

4 egg yolks

200g self raising flour (sifted)

Zest from 2 Lemons
2 tablespoons lemon juice

Mixture B :

4 egg whites

80g fine sugar

Method :

1. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add vanilla essence.

2. Add egg yolks one at a time, beating well after each addition. 
3. Then add lemon zest.

4. Add flour in three additions. In the first addition, add 1 tablespoon of lemon juice. Fold in the flour until just incorporated. In the next addition, add in second tablespoon of lemon juice and mix. Then add in last addition of flour. Do not over mix.

5. In another bowl, whisk egg whites and gradually add sugar. Whisk until stiff peaks.

6. Fold in 1/3 of egg whites into the butter mixture. Mix well and fold in the remaining egg whites.

7. Bake in a greased and lined 8" round pan at 160C for 50 minutes or until skewer inserted into the centre of the cake comes out clean. (don't over bake)

Notes for my future reference :
a) After step 2 above, I used a spatula to mix in the lemon zest and to fold in the flour.
b) I baked this cake on the lower rack and tented the cake with aluminium foil during the last 10 minutes of baking.

nikmat yg selalu dilupa

I had mouth ulcer this past few day. It so hard for me to eat, speak and even any movement of my tongue is quite pain. Today the pain lessen significantly. I can speak without feeling want to cry anymore :). These few days teach me a lot of thing... We always complaint about so many thing in our life.. unfair treatment, not enough money, bad weather etc and we always push to do thing later.. tunggu hari tua la. But sometimes we forgot that we actually have lots of thing that we took for granted. For example --> our perfect mouth/tongue... There may be time that we can't use our mouth to speak, to sing or even to recite al quran. Do all this before we lost it..

meet my JGV's brother --> ZDG

Finally this weekend i brought my car from London to here. Drove 4 hrs to York yesterday and today continue another leg to Edinburgh. I so love the car!!!The pick up is so good, there is little effort to speed up. It so stable to run . The suspension is way better than kelisa (ok kelisa was 13 yrs car so cannot compare la kan). Music connection to spotify was superb and I love the sat nav. It so accurate on which junction to turn. I used to watch the waze/gps rather than listening to instruction. But with this GPS, i felt it can be trusted. One happy bird... Only concern, i think the car is slightly bigger .. hahaha so i do feel that i will struggle to park.
This weekend the weather is not so good so I don't plan to have much stop but the route from Newcastle to Edinburgh surprisingly quite scenic. So meet ZDG exactly at scotland/England border.. The temperature was so cold!!!.. -5.5c but lucky no snow!!

bitcoin - cryptocurrency

I heard this bitcoin last year when i join meetup grp on conversation. One of the guy was doing software on bitcoin. Other ppl seems to be interested with it but I don't know what the heck of it so I googled. But what more interesting to me is the guy that invent bitcoin is a mystery guy. Nobody really know who he is. Anyway a year passed and suddenly this year cikpah asked me if i knew anything abt bitcoin. The only thing i remember is that mystery guy. Apparently bitcoin trading has been kind of popular investment throughout the world even in Malaysia.. maybe in Asia. The price has been surge up like thousand % compare to last year. WOWW.. I just missed the boat. Anyway since my journey of finding more money to fund my cooper, i started to put some money in bitcoin. In Islam, doing any investment with speculative nature can be treated as gambling and kind of Haram. So in order to halal my greedy :p, i try to understand this what crypto world..  I do convince, this is where the world is heading just I'm not so sure which currency will win the war. Currently I only look at bitcoin, litecoin and ethereum. To be honest, I felt bitcoin has so many bottle neck that i don't think it will win but somehow it has the highest growth. Maybe because it the first so many platform support bitcoin. Just imagine, i try to transfer bitcoin and it cost RM24.. It quite expensive to be use as normal transaction. Anyway, i check the meetup group as well. It seems ppl here more interested on the technology itself rather the trading. I signed up for a few lecture on bitcoin and even buy the bitcoin book.. walau x tau bila la nk pergi... this is what i love being in Edinburgh.. you have access on all those lecture pretty easily. ahhaha.. i felt so pump up.

Black Friday?

I really have no self control!! I was planning to buy car before summer next year and guess what? Forget all the saving, all the lucky draw .... just take the loan .. hahahaha. Getting loan from bank will be quite high interest ~24% as I only been in UK for less than 2 years but for Black Friday mini had promotion 2.9% APR for car loan.. normally it will be 5.9%. It really tempting.. I checked the new car offer from carwow and one of the dealer give quite good price but they in London.  Called them on 2.9% APR and they managed to find the car with chili pack + media XL .. After waiting anxiously for 1 day, yesss the loan is approved with 2.9% but i need to go london to sign before 30th... The problem is, i don't have much leave to go to London on weekday, so last friday i book next day flight to London return the same day. Signed it and I'll be getting my mini next week or week after.. yeah!!! As thing come so sudden, now I have too many thing to think.. how to bring car up, parking permit, insurance etc.. hahahahha  but so happy. At the same time i felt kind of guilty of buying new car. It one of incorrect financial decision logically, but my heart say differently.. hahahaha..

perempuan meroyan dtg balik...

        I'm thinking of buying a car next year so I can travel more during weekend. However the initial thought of buying car asal boleh jalan have changed, the longer i keep on thinking abt it :p... Initially I thought of buying I10 as it the cheapest (can get £6-7k used for 2015/16) and the review is quite good. But the look is so buruk.. at least for me hahaha. Then i upgraded to fiesta and polo which another 3k extra for the same year.  I kind of settle for this till i saw an A1 sportback drive past me. It so cute and nice but that add another £3k. WHAT!!.. I already want to cross that when my friend said, i should enjoy while i can. To think about it, i will never drive Audi in Malaysia.. not even in my dream :). So I went to see the A1, the rear seat is quite small but the driver seat is so ergo. I kind of want it .. but really? Do i want to waste the money for this car? Some more getting a used car A1 is not easy.. New A1 will be around £20-22k. Gulp.. Then i did this self questionnaire .. WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.. ---> The answer is Mini Cooper .. hahahaha lain option.. lain jawaban nya.. Yeah.. i really fancy mini cooper.. maybe because i drove Kelisa which is mini cooper wannabe .. so i become mini cooper owner wannabe too. I even happy when my neighbour who drove mini cooper rent my parking. At least my parking get to taste how mini cooper felt like.. not the engine leak from my beloved Kelisa :).  Anyway mini wasn't in the list initially because i tot they only have 2 seat at the back. I need 3 seat , just incase stooges plan coming to Scotland next year get materialised ( ye la tu... tatau bila). I tot if I need 3 seat, need to buy mini clubman.. and i dont like the look of clubman. It look like van. I did my useless browsing.. simply go to mini website and try to configure the mini.. Then only i realized that 5dr mini cooper have 3 seat at the back.. Yeah!! i straight book a test drive and been waiting for this weekend to happen.. Yesterday i drove mini cooper :).  It so smooth and stable. As driver, I like the drive but driver seat is not as good as A1. The back seat is OK compare to A1 although the middle doesn't really get a good legroom and the door is slightly small. arghh screw up the stooges.. at least it 3 seat .. hahahaha..  This what happen when u found something u love.. u let them squeeze :). Anyway, i don't really like the screen. It small even with the radio boost visual. Maybe need to upgrade to media XL. The bad new is.. it hard to find auto mini cooper 5d in Edinburgh and with the option of media XL.. it even harder. When i check autotrader, they are some but at least few hundreds miles away and it does have the same price tag with A1. So now, i need to start thinking about money.. hahaha.. duit duit duit .. di mana ko duit.. So now my journey of increasing my car allocation money started..
Last night i have been buying some bitcoin in hope it can go up beribu2 lemon in 4 months ( it has been down and i've  been loosing money instead.. sigh :( Won't look at it till march... pray hard ).. I also created some saving account in Halifax and plan to put my car deposit there in a hope to win their lucky draw in this 4 month. They have lucky draw every month although the odd of winning is very low. Somehow the average of winning is woman 60 yrs old, weird ar. Anyway since I'm halfway there maybe my luck is increasing as well. Positive!!.. I also just setup an account with Premium Bond (similar like SSPN) in hope to win their lucky draw as well. I have been digging my travel drawer to find the extra pound hidden inside the travel purse so i can bank it to that premium bond tmrw. I even plan to use some £ that my friend gave me as token of good luck before i went to Edinburgh.. I guess this where the luck is needed :).  I know i haven't been so lucky in Malaysia .. but maybe my luck is shining here? With all the coldness, there must be something warm for me right :). Sound desperate.. yeah!! i really want mini cooper or maybe A1. But i i know what i want cost more that i can afford now. Pray hard... With all the luck, i hope i can get mini cooper with configuration that I want .. Amin.

Edinburgh Military Tattoo

Every year in August, there will be Fringe Festival in Edinburgh. One of the biggest event during Fringe Festival would be Edinburgh Military Tattoo. Some country will perform band marching to kind of commemorate contribution during war. I'm lucky to win 2 ticket for Edinburgh Tattoo this year. Yeah.. so last night, me& eja go to watch it. They have performance from local which include Queen army and other country which from India, Japan and France. I think every year will have different country.. I do see Malaysia flag and wonder if Malaysia did performed here before. Beside normal band marching, there were also some war story on the redcoat vs highlander and some Viking story which showed they burn the boat. Overall it quite good but the most moment that really keep me thinking & happy was the ending.. Of course the firework view at the end was fantastic but seeing everyone from all the country gather and played the instrument together at the end was amazing... and this being added with bird visual at the castle flying high, which really give a feeling of freedom after war. The show ended with everyone stand up, singing national anthem and followed by a Scotland friendship handshake song. Everyone cross hand, holding each other even the stranger and sing that song together while the band playing the music... The music was similar like our "bertemu dan berpisah song" but they have different lyrics. It turn out Scotland's version is the original which come from a poem - Auld Lang Syne. It spirit was so high last night. It really nice to experience that :) I hope we have more friendship rather than war in future to come ...

driving lesson

Recently there was a case in Edinburgh where cyclist fall dawn due to her tyre stuck in the tram rail. A bus unfortunately hit her afterwards. She didn't make it. Btw she actually Malaysian. Reading this news, it really remind me back to my driving theory preparation. While studying my theory test, I did kind of "curse" the system many time. They have tooooo (i hope the more "o" can emphasize the plurals of it) syllabus to cover. Beside all the normal road sign, there are syllabus on first aid like what what you should do for the burn victims, how long you should check the breathing before do the compression, what the stopping and braking distance when you driving on certain speed. What the usage of catalyst or how you do engine braking..so on and so on. It really a lot. They even have tram signal question. One of thing that i find good, are the awareness about the other road user. Like why & how you should be careful when try to overtake motorcycle in open road or even animal. What you should expect cyclist/motorcycle might do when passing a manhole etc. It might be obvious if we have experience of driving but for new learner, I think it a good eye opener. They also has a section about hazard perception where we watch video and click when we think there is hazard going to happen while we driving..It really cool and scary at the same times. During my practice, I always failed on this hazard perception as I was caught clicking too rapidly or I click too soon or too late when seeing developing hazard. Lucky i did not repeat it on the real test.
Anyway coming back to the tram story, one of topic abt other road user is why you should be careful when a driving near the tram path. It said that tram path is dangerous to cyclist as they might get stuck on the rail. Which really if it being practices properly maybe can save that girl's life. But again, anything can happen.
Not sure if our driving lesson syllabus in Malaysia has change but I do think is a good thing to have all this diverse topic to cover. it did give good knowledge for the new people  However i wonder if we change Malaysia theory test to be comprehensive, how many people will actually take the lesson :).

radical

I saw the below comment in my news feed. So tempting to comment but I refrained myself hence I'm writing to this blog to avoid any unnecessary argument. I've learnt my lesson last time when I comment in a post where someone made untrue claims that there is no Azan is allowed in Penang. A simple comment to correct her statement based on my experience staying in Penang ended up to be some long argument. Being a "competitive" and my nk menang attitude, i didn't know when to back off. Lucky our mutual friend diplomatically end that argument. Since then, I've learnt people doesn't want truth. They just want to believe what the want to believe. In Al Baqarah there is lots of ayat about this type of people who will never listen, which said that Allah has put seal on their heart. I still struggle to understand why do people don't want to listen. Why Allah has put seal on the heart of some people? Does they know that they not listening to truth.. does they know they are looking at the wrong thing and my worst question,  Am I belong to the group as well? 

Anyway coming back to this post, for me the problem of this islamic radical is they think ONLY them is the correct one. They kill non-muslim or even muslim because they think only they follow the real Islam. The rest is just infidel. Being a muslim, we should know how much Ramadhan meant to muslim. For us, where kindness is a way to achieve happiness in hereafter, we tried to do much kindness during this holy months. But for them, where killing "infidel" is what they think is ticket to heaven, don't you think they will do more during the ramadhan??? So I just cannot get it when my friend was thinking all this thing has to do with kuasa2 luar nk campur tangan. Ok maybe I'm so naive but I think there is a bigger reason behind this rather campus tangan kuasa luar and if we cannot accept this real reason, it will be hard to fight all this terrorism.

For me, the issue is because "radical" ideology. It doesn't matter if it islamic radical, or any other religion or even other secular ideology. This so called radical movement is about having the greatest power. They will try to see how far they can stretch their ideology. Maybe it will be easy to give example of something that already happen in they history. All of us know that Hitler with his radical ideology execute the Jewish. But he does not stop there. He also execute those gay, gypsy and to a point his start to execute those Germany that was handicapped. For him, killing those worthless people make world a better place but how you draw the line.. who is worthless and who is not? It the same with this islamic radical. They might start with non muslim, then depending if they come from Shia or Sunni, they will continue to execute the opposite faith, then they will execute those from some faith but having slight different. Where do you think they will draw the line to stop?? Never !!! unless we stop all this radical thinking. It something we should not even thinking that "ala aku selamat sebab diorang attack org bukan islam je". For me, we live in a world that there is lots of grey than 1 or 0. Those grey is what define who we are.. Just because some one is having different thought and faith , does not make them to be on the wrong side. 

saving ...

My friend was asking me how much percentage of my salary I save for my rainy day aka hari tua.. sebenarnya soalan susah tu... I spend what I want and I save what I want.. Now in UK even more confused. because I used my malaysia saving to pay for my house loan payment as UK conversion rate dropped compare to when I decided to accept the job. So I'm hoping for the currency to be OK before tampal balik my saving ...  But the thing is, one of the reason I decided to go abroad is to travel.. So I kind of try not to control my travel spending so much. Besides, to get some benefits like free movie ticket, cashback la etc, I open a few current account. These account required some  minimum bank in every month. As they don't really care if the money stay, so what I do is I setup standing order that move my money from one account to another.. hahaha .. mcm black money je kan. That how kiasu I am to get  free stuff. I also fan of credit card as I think we wasting points not using credit card.. (konon la kan but seriously that what I firmly believe). So I don't really know how much % that I save..or I even save? .. hahaha.. So when she asked that question, my answer is "aku xde hard rules... ada kesedaran sendiri bila shopping banyak". Jawapan yg sgt confident and I'm pretty sure my friend feel wow.. bagus nya. (perasan kan).
But ... tiba2 ... that night, somehow while surfing abt Copenhagen,  I don't know why, but suddenly I open a camera review website.. and tiba2 .. I was on prayer mat beside my bed, sit long enough thinking should I or should I not..  I know I have been spending quite a lots last 2 months as I have been travelling and book some flights/hotel for my summer travel... but If I didn't buy now, I might missed the 5 years warranty offer.. Uhhh so tempting...
Tiba2 I took my credit card and tiba2 i get the confirmation letter... and I will be welcoming another tukun in my collection as summer preparation.....  Banyak la ko punya kesedaran sendiri...
Today I look at my credits card bill. Gosh.. baru la tersedar... Takpe .. my own justificaton .. one year anniversary gift I'm in Edinburgh.. apa2 pun boleh kan... Hope it worth it ...

azam ditengah tahun

i woke up and decided to do one thing ... --> to msg my old good friend that I have not been really contact them is the past for what ever reason and reconnect with them. Maybe i'm scared that we are not the same .. we don't have anything to talk .. but based on the fact we use to talk a lot last time.. I'm pretty sure it won't go wrong.. Some people are bless.. their life is always giving people hope and lights.. like my friend - Ah, even her death give me lesson..  I don't want to feel another regret...

Rambling about life .. again!!!

Every year there is unexpected death that I heard.. My housemate when i was in UTM just passed away yesterday after delivered a baby girl.. It kind of shocked and I do felt sad.. My mind just keep rewinding my memory with her especially when we stay outside campus.. She with her scooter and her habit to play with her hair.  She really a good and soft spoken with a lots humour traits. We used to be good friend... Sue, Ah, Intan and me. It really unexpected but again death is for sure. I look back at my last personal WhatsApp message. It just about unit trust. I don't even ask about her life any more. I guess over time, your path with your old friend branch. I justified by not having common topic to talk but I think the real reason I just don't care about their life anymore. When I look back, i cut so many people from my life... there is someone that I will always put her as my bestfriend's name during my childhood in some of my password reminder but I don't even remember when was the last time we spoke freely on the phone. I have so many justification for the friendship that I cut or I lowered the standard to hi/bye kind of relationship.. but yet the justification just to make me feel less guilty of being selfish... Sigh.. Am I really a lone ranger? .. a loner ? Is relationship really burden me?
In a different note, last night when I was watching cinema, my mum WhatsApp me.. Just normal message to take care myself and tell me her doa will always with me.. I cried... I saw how my mum progress from the strongest pontianak in Johor to an old lady.. For me, my knee start making sound and i start to have to have pain when taking stairs and even to pray. I wonder does the time will come too soon when I can't even pray without chair :(.  This sometimes make we wonder... will I regret staying abroad .. not staying near my mum or I will regret does not take opportunity to explore life when time is permitted for me.. .. maybe it PMS mode..

character...

For my write that story class, i have to come out with story line almost every week. Then the teacher will read it and everyone will comment about the story line.. Somehow i just noticed that my story always revolve around family and always a sad one.. One story is about sisters rivalry which the younger felt she always in a shadow of her sister.. Some conflict happens and she said nasty thing to her sister. they met with accident and the sister passed away. She regret. Then the other story is about a struggle of family with regress autism kids, wife that is pregnant and husband that has career stagnant.  Then last week i wrote an outline about daughter that is annoyed with Mom that want to save on lots of thing.. somehow being transported to her mom's childhood and start to understand her Mom struggle childhood...back to reality and reconcile with the mom.  All this outline is for different title but somehow it always in the same genre...family and sad.. hahahah.. When my teacher reads other's outline... they come out with totally different and unexpected thing.. The teacher said .. most of people see the thing from their own view and character.. I wonder am I really a sad people... emmmm.... Will try to write something funny this weekend... see if I can get away from it,