September 13, 2014

Things that matter

Ppl who close with me know that i hv this unhappiness towards what i do now. I jump to one job and another but still the feeling is there.. Looking at my career now, actually i dont think there is no solution to the issue that i have now. When i raised some issue, ppl did listen although it wasnt 100% so there are chance thing can be changes but somehow myself reluctant to fight for it.. I looking for a way totally out of it. I just not keen on doing what i'm doing but at the same time i love doing engineering. A part of me can't think what are the purpose of all this. We fight againts deadline from one project to another and some even got zbb'ed at the end of milestone... Im not sure if it worth all the effort. To be honest, i love doing my work .. way more than watching tv. I can stuck in front of screen debugging or create new code and even tahan to go to bathroom.. Once i start working, i easily in my zone.. Even watching tv i will always distracted.. Emm  somehow today i think i kind of found the reason.. Everyone of us human longing to do something that matter. Be it as a daughther or as worker or even as mother. I felt that my current work, i dont feel it matter!!! If one day i quit or i die, the world wont cry for me.. No significant thing i hv done to anyone in this world.. I hv to find something that matter

September 09, 2014

Concentration

Recently i noticed i hv big problem.... I just can't focus!! I easy get distracted n nothing able to hold my concentration more than 20mins.. Maybe that the reason i always do keje half way. I started my ambition of writting apps... but it goes up to the point installing new xcode on my laptop...then i do sme study on bangkok but still i eas get distracted on gossip blog.. Iskhhhh i hv to fix i hv to fix