2 wolf inside me?

From young ... I means very young like before my high school, i always hv 2 opposite character. I love money m greedy.. I use to  collect money from my late grandpa before he enter my hse. He went my hse almost everyday and i will collect toll money from him- 20 sen each time he what to enter, else he can't enter. I used to hv quite high saving compare to my other sibling.. I remember at one time i hv abt 10k in my acc. That pretty big amount for kids from low income class. I also wont allow ppl to borrow anything frm my hse especially my neighbour. At the same time.. I'm a giver. I easy to pity for poor people. When we are kids, im the only one that will always give my father some money n ask him to give to orpahange. At that time you dont think abt pahala but I just pity them. Nobody told me to do so. It a conflicting character that i hv. At that time.. , the most unfortunate ppl that u think is either anak yatim or kids with father too old but yet still cycled his kid to school. Anyway, thing slowly changing when i grew up.. I expose with even more materialistic thing starting with different friend in boarding school. SSP full with rich girl that make me one to hv what they hv as well. I start to spend more money on myself.. buy meaningless stuff like some us magazine which i dont think i really like it. It an exploration state for me. I remember wanting swatch so much but yet can't make myself to buy it and i ended up declare war on watch. What a funny behviour. I want more money to feed lifestyle that i want. Things continue... there always thing that i want that make me want to hv more money and money untill now. i greedyly buy a falling knife stock with the hope it will increase which of couse make me lost even more money.. That how greedy i become. 

Anyway the above just introduction.. A friend told me abt thing that happens on cambodia. How poor they are and lifestyle that they hv. He told me about his distance friend that go and help in cambodia. After he told me.. to imagine myself in that place is a scary thing. I know i will hv that heavy feeling living n seeing their suffer and u know what the biggest worry i hv? I afraid i will let go my sekangkang kera wealth for them.. See how greedy this little girl has become.. A friend told me before inside everyone there is 2 wolf - evil and good. Both always fight. Which one will win? The wolf that we feed more.. I guess that greedy.. love for money in myself are growing bigger n bigger compare to the side that easy to pity to unfortunate ppl. sigh