bila dok baca entry emo cpah pagi tadi tetiba terasa nak menulis benda yang lebih kurang sama. hahahah .. tapi rasanya tak le sampai kuar api kat monitor. Seperti mana single single yang lain .. ada le mulut2 yang suka nak bertanya bila aku nak kawin .. kawin best etc. But when i think of it, not all of my married friend are happier compared to when they are singles. Marriage not only come with companionship but lots of responsibility. Like normal relationship, not all the time the responsibility is shared among the couples.
For me marriage can be divide into 3 types. First type, when we marry to wrong guy or girl. Husband cheated on you or the wife cheated on the husband etc. Second type, the husband is good person, not even look at another woman but does not love his wife as much as he should do. For example: they went for oustation bring their 1 year old daughther. Then the wife nak jumpa kawan dia. Husband dia, after hantar wife and anak dia ke tempat yang kawan dia janji nak jumpa, terus balik hotel and tidur. You just imagine, the wife dah lama x jumpa kawan dia, sure ada banyak benda nak cakap and then anak umur setahun sure banyak ragam kadang2 nak tido etc. So what he expect if the daughther want to sleep.. nak suruh wife dia dukung je ke. At least make sure the wife bawak stroller etc. Maybe the wife is okay but i will be sad if I'm his wife. Another example, wife and husband keje. Balik keja, wife do all the stuff, cooking, laundry, clean the dishes and even pick up towel yang letak bersepah2. Sama2 keja kan... and sama2 penat. takkan x leh considerate? At least if the husband lazy, he can suggest the wife amik cleaner or helper.
The third type, for me is the perfect marriage. They do quarrel, have some argument on certain thing but they let go certain thing just to make the partner happy. Marriage need a lots of scarification from both. I'm happy as single and I don't want to trap in the first and second type of marriage. If I have chance to have the third type of marriage, I'm more than happy to leave my single title tapi sekarang x nampak bayang lagi :).
Sometimes the perception that being singles are not happy, bukan je datang dari pertanyaan og2 yang dah kawin dan beranak pinak but from singles too. There is one time, I'm visiting my friend X yang dah ada anak together with my other friend Y yang dah ada anak gak. Then suddenly i got a phone call from my single friend. When I told her that I'm at X's house together with Y, her responds "semua org pun ngn anak masing2, ko je xde .. " (ayat dah diubah sebab x ingat :p). Does the "single" title prevent us to mix around with married friend. Maybe perception masyarakat that when your are 30 and not yet marry it's a real taboo compare than your own happiness. huhhuhuhhu .. I wish i always have the strength to stand on my own thought rather follow what people say/think.
tetiba teringat pakcik teksi kat kampung aku. He complaining abt her daughther yang x kawin lagi which he claimed one of the reason sebab anak dia beli kereta besar (waja). Org laki takut kalau nampak perempuan ada kereta besar. Terasa nak gelak tapi those type of guy exist.
5 comments:
imahhhh, spot on siotttt...ko mmg bijakkk.....aku tak paham sapa yg ckp best kawin tuh.....not too say tak best, tp betol lah ko ckp, it all comes down with responsibility, tambah anak, lagik tambah ko kene pikir before buat any decision.....it's a lil bit of give and take and sacrifice...bukan sumenye huha huha yare yare jek......and what's there not to like about being single, ko boleh buat sume mende without regards of anyone else, ko malas masak, boleh mkn luar, ko rase nak balik mesia beli tiket balik mesia....kalau rase2 nak pegi shopping kat oxford st, boleh pegi jek, tak kisah sape2 ...heheh...kalau dah ade family sure mcm pikir, alamak ape laki ngn anak aku makan nanti, kene la balik ...next time je pegi shopping, nak balik mesia 1500pound, mane nak cekau duit.....nak mkn luar selalu, takut lari budget ...heheh begitulah hendaknyeee.....aku rase, org selalu rase the grass is always greener on the other side....padehalnye bersyukurlah dgn apa yg ada, be happy with what we have, diri sindri tuh kene perceived things i.e.what we have positively, barula tak asyik nak mengeluh jekkk...heheh....over tak komen aku imah??...heheh
macam agak over gak le.. lagi satu sentence jadik cam blog sendiri :P
Different people look at different perspective.
Sekurang2nya kalau dah ada anak, kalau kita mati lam umur sekarang, adalah zuriat yang akan mendoakan utk kita :)
So, betambah satu lagi bekal sebelom hari pertimbangan.
maybe betul kalau ada anak, insya allah anak akan doakan tapi marriage doesnt means that you have kids.. doesnt means anak turn out to be soleh. Doesnt means the kids live longer than us. Abt bekalan sebelum pertimbangan, i felt it's how we should live our daily life and there are some others stuff that we can leave behind. Ilmu yg dimanfaatkan, sedekah, kebajikan and even wakaf yang kita buat masa hidup. So rasanya bukannya kita kena kawin kerana nak anak doakan kita but we have to do our best mendidik anak so they can turn out to be a good muslim.
im truly agree with ur words...yup, doesnt mean by ONLY having kids, kiter akan ade bekalan kat sana... btolah mmg anak akan doakan, tp sedekah, amal jariah, anak-anak yatim tuh kan antara 3 mende yg kiter akan bwk biler mati nantih... kene ingat, Allah tuh MAHA ADIL, dier tak bg sumone tuh kawen ade sbb, so kalo tade anak, ade mende lain yg kiter boleh bungkus bawak mase nak jumpa Munkar Nakir nanti. =)
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