they take away my youth

emmm .. semalam while waiting for maghrib a.k.a bukak pose .. i saw an advertisement kat astro pasal documentary abt korea girl yg jadi sex slave masa zaman perang... ada lah makcik ni cakap " they take a way my youth" ...
emmm aku terus terpikir... when I'm old .. lebih kurang mcm makcik tu .. what are the thing that I regret not doing when I'm young ... to be truth .. i don't know... but at the same time x nak le aku plak " i take away my youth" ... maybe is not too late for me to think abt it ya ...

I.S.A

i was shocked today that another 2 ppl kena masuk ISA. the reporter yg tulis pasal ahmad cakap chineese pendatang and teresa kok. I know nothing abt Teresa kok so i google la .. found that somebody said she make complain regarding azan at early morning. It was reported in Utusan Malaysia. And she denied it and imam kat surau pun lodge police report saying that they didnt use mic due to some technical problem and not because of ppl presure. So obliviously org yg accused her is lying la .. unless got some consprirasy theory lagi. Anyway .. i dont care but what i see both are similar case. Why in Teresa Kok case, they didn't catch the utusan guy under ISA? The article that he wrote even if true or not boleh bawak racial tension what.. same case like the chineese reporter. why they gave ahmad 3 years suspension in UMNO only while teresa kok kena isa... conpius kan ... but for me in both cases, ISA is not an answer.. its like pouring oil to the fire... i'm not sure what games they are playing .. but really stupid. Is there no one in the supreme council that can think this just make them look stupid like a spoilt brats.
i wonder if there will be anything happen next few days .. Thai are already in conflicts .. will we in turn?

Never too late

While kill the time before pergi office i read this article... A good article for us yg semestinya sentiasa membuat dosa sama ada kita sedar atau tidak.

Jalan Pulang Ke Pangkuan Tuhan Terlalu Luas

Surah al-Zumar ayat 53: (maksudnya), Katakanlah: Wahai hamba- hamba-Ku yang telah melampaui batas terhadap diri mereka sendiri (dengan perbuatan maksiat), janganlah kamu berputus asa dari rahmat Allah, kerana sesungguhnya Allah mengampunkan segala dosa; sesungguhnya Dialah jua Yang Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani.

Quota

kadang2 manusia ni pelik. Sekarang ni non-malay nak kesama rata-an kat Malaysia. I can understand the feeling tapi lebih pelik sebab some of Malays yang rasa all the privillege make them feel not confident. Make they feel, its because of all the subsidy, all the quota that give them a chance to do that. Kenapa aku rasa pelik? emm first of all, memang la all the quota/subsidy tu untuk org yang handicap .. so kalau rasa x handicap, nape nak amik gak. For example.. if you rasa nak masuk university .. try your best in your SPM. You should know better what u answer for your SPM right and if you feel, you not suppose to be accept to university based on your result, give the place to some other ppl. Why you nak amik gak. If you rasa you deserve because you felt that your environment didnt help you for study (you need to take care your bro and sis while ur parents go to work and weekend ur work part time etc) then it cause your result teruk but if you given a chance you will make it.. then apa nak pertikaikan confident. You are handicap.. and people give you chance so your son will have conducive environment for their growth. So use the chance and improve yourself and your family. Pastu lagi satu ... do we really have to care if we deserve to be where we are .. I think what we should be thinking .. God give us chance.. so do all the best. For me, I do feel NEP give me way to create my own path. If i wasnt be chosen to SBP, I'm not sure what my SPM result will be .. what my dream will be ... what I will be. People can say that ... aa.. u should have confident to yourself. Yes I do have but I cant deny the fact those thing are helping to shape my life. Back in my kampung before my UPSR, people didnt really care abt education.. and me too. Nobody study during exam ..we just follow the flow. We play.. play and watch TV. Even when my teacher - Cikgu Hamisan asked us what we want for UPSR, I'm so clueless. We just say 4A's without mean it. There is no peer pressure ..etc. We have parents that ask us "blaja rajin rajin" but we didnt see how really important eduction to us. But I think things are different in boarding school. People start discussion abt subject even one month before exam. The girl finish the homeworks and we really mean when we say 8A's for PMR. We try hard for that and because your friend try hard, your teacher try hard .. you too will try hard. Those golden years actually shapen yourself. So for me, all the quota is need for the handicap like me last time .. but I think I'm no longer handicap .. so my kids ( if I ever have one) he/she should be treated as normal person and its my task to make sure she up to the competition world. :). So I do agree the NEP, quota etc should be end in future .. not because it cause Malays not confident etc, but because we taking others portion ...and its not right!

Where all the good ppl go ...

Last night, I have a very long late discussion with my friend maybe I called him Mr S. Prior to that, we actually experience 5 hours of awkward situation when one of our or at least my ex-good friend : Mr-L buat hal. Mr-L didnt say anything, just smsing using his phone with a toyo face while we have our tea and with us, one of our colleague that I consider a good person: Ms J was also there. Just imagine the situation and how she felt abt it. So selfish ...and he wasnt like that a night before or even a night before that before. The reason? I'm also not sure .. as he never been sincere to say what he felt or what he want. What I know on Friday night, he behave himself maybe because we met with uncle/autie which happen to be the parents of someone he likes... and yesterday the uncle/auntie held barbeque and invite us incase we want to kill time before our flight. But instead of going there, all of us decided to just have a tea in a mall. macam x malu je nak gi makan free at someone's hse yg kitorang x kenal. Yeah he give hints, which as usual he will end it ..no lah no lah just joking. But when we ask him, if he want to go ... he said dont want la.. but he buat hal at the mall. He so manipulative .. he make us feel what he want us to feel.. actually there is lots more but malas nak menulis .. the conclusion .. Mr-L, is someone that most ppl will felt he a good guy ... caring abt others .. at least that what I felt last time.. He one of a ppl that I respect but seeing how he behave.. how he make ppl feel bad .. how he didnt talk to my other friend for > than one year .. how he just resigned from a company without saying goodbye to ppl that care abt him... how he make that guy feel bad .. how he actually go and met my boss in his first day work while all the past year that I know him, he been mengumpat and hate my boss just because now my boss may bring benefit to him... how he help a girl that rejected him and treat him badly to get a new job just to build a reputation infront of that girl while he didnt do anything to another guy friend who want to get a job but didnt being call for the interview which he claim is his friend .. who always be there with him .. So SELFISH ..
haaa .. ni baru intro
Actually this thing more effecting my dear friend - Mr-S. Mr-S doesnt have much friend because he too choosy .. if he felt the guy is a jerk .. he wont put a nice face .. he will try to put at least 10 meter distance .. doesnt matter if that guy nice to him .. but jerk to other ppl, as long as he is jerk ... so is a "NO" friend. When he first met Mr-L, he was surprise that finally he saw someone like him .. at least that want he thought .. but as time goes by .. and now what we see Mr-L is so cunning .. is worst that normal jerk in the office .. who wear a nice guy hat while we are not sure who he is... this affect him to much.. i felt he slowly lost faith in human ..
One of thing that Mr-S said during our long discussion, he wonder .. all religion are teaching that do good to other ppl and also giving is better that accepting but why in our current world .. it hard to see those thing happen. I do give a thought of it .. and I felt .. it wasnt abt the religion .. the religion is for our guidance .. but either we follow or not was up to individual faith.. So i felt in your IC, either your religion is Islam, or Christian, or Buddhist or Hindu or Atheist .. it doesnt make any different if our heart didnt recognize it... A lots of ppl pray to their own God but didnt have faith that God own everything .. they still think their lead the way which cause this selfishness.
For me, I felt I won't be really sad that now I met lots of bad ppl but I feel happy when I found a good ppl. As we know .. at the end of the day .. most people will became selfish and loss faith to Allah so when we actually found a good person .. we should appreciate it. Maybe I'm lucky to still see good ppl do a good thing in this world and they are near to me. I really thank Allah for his bless as I felt seeing those thing make me never loss hope and why should I care abt manipulative Mr-L.