University life

I read an article saying due to increase cost, nowadays most of student only eat once a day. Although it most probably true but sometimes i felt people didnt know they priority. I have my own experience in university. My late father stop working when i just finish SPM. We literally has no family income as my mum only housewife. My elder brother is an army but he has his own family to handle and being a normal army he dont earn that much either. My elder sister get married before i start my university time and she also a housewife. I still remember my first semester yuran was paid using my sister's wedding duit hulur. She dont take it for honeymoon or use for her stuff but instead my mom take it to pay for my yuran. At that time it was around rm1800. I survived my first semester with my own saving before i got my jpa scholar. Jpa didnt pay much either but it enough for me to buy a meal, nasi, ayam, sayur which cost me max rm2.50. So total i spend rm5 for food everyday. Although some ppl complaint not enough but for me it more than enough that i can still buy some books ( not only photocopy books but real book), watch movie once or twice a semester and go out maybe once a month. During my time, still got people complain not enough and still got people starve. Why? I cannot deny there is some who are kind   enough, send some money back home. I dont need to do that because my mum got her own saving to put food on the table for my younger sis n bro and when my younger brother enter utm, he join palapes which he earn some money to cater his better n richer life. So how do i manage it with that jpa money. 

1. I don't have mobile phone. At that time the famous is alcatel. Although it so tempting but after i count the initial investment and monthly investment to op up the credit, i know i just can't have it. I phoneless for my entire 4 years. 

2. I dont own transport. I dont need to pour petrol. I took university bus when i was stay outside and i walked when i stay inside. 

3. I decide to stay inside after 1 semester try livibg outside. Money flow like water when u live outside. The reason because the daily eat outside and roti tissue. It increase my daily meals for something that not important. Utility bills as well. 

4. I dont fall into the addictive of chatting. At my time, chatting or mirc is a big huha. Who dont want to chat and make new friend? . I calculate and the amount of money to spend on internet is something i cannot bear. My first year roomate spend almost daily in internet cafe and starve as the money spend on that

5. I eat inside university and most of time opt for nasi campur. Reason because it cheaper and i can mix the gravy to make it something that nice. I dont buy chocolate for my snacks and i rarely buy sweet drinks. 

My final year roommate do almost some like what i done above except she has her own mobile phone. She also dont have money problem. So i think most of the time, eating outside is the killer. In intel, i also eat inside because it hot outside. One meals in 4.50 - one chicken, 2 vege n rice. I guess university food should be around that price. 

Of course outside food is way nicer, able to eat mc donald whenever i want is nicer, snacking chocolatd rather than biscuit kering is nicer, watch movie every week is nicer, able to hang out with friend every night at mamak also nice, able to sms your friend abt gossip, abt homework is nice, has your own transport also nice, but as i dont want to work or rather lazy to work n i dont want to join palapes either, so i have to stop all my desire. When my niece was accepted to university, my bro actually concern abt how much money that is enough for her. I told him, just with jpa or ptptn should be enough if she know how to spend wisely. But my younger bro said, kak mah lain la. Kak mah nerd. Yes it my choice to be nerd to reduce all the cost. I cut lots of thing during my university. Naturely i like to go out but i have to keep that down and replace by walking around utm faculty. During a stress time or after exam, i just buy a connetto and walk around either go to different college or go different faculty. Sometimes i go to my friend's room and hang out there which some of my roomate find it a bit annoying as i stay out longer than in my room. Hahahah i'm very sorry for cause any issue in the past.  That's my way to enjoy little life that i have with the little money that i have. To be honest, it wasnt something i 100% proud as well. If given opportunity to rewind the time, i dont know if i will do differently by taking a part time job, so i can use that money to experience other activity because looking back, i dont earn much life experience during uni time. But for sure i wont whine abt ptptn not enough as i'm pretty sure it enough if we really do the basic what need to do to get a degree. I tried that. Yes. My time is like 15 years ago but at that time some ppl also suffer because they spend money on unneccesery thing but dont want to earn more money to cater for that. If you cannot handle your university life where most of you dont have another mouth utk kasik makan, how can you survive working life. The temptation is even bigger.  

Blue ball

I was waiting in front of traffic light and saw a blue ball bergolek2 at the other lane. There lots of reason why the ball should not be there.  It getting dark in a few hours and ppl might not see it. And it a ball which are not static so wind can make it move. Even if all above not happening, some one might be less alert and didn't see the ball.  I know in my heart i have to go out and take the ball else someone might bump into accident. But somehow it took me 5 mins to think abt it. I afraid if i go out later the traffic light become green and ppl will honk me la. I scared later ppl didnt see me and langgar me while i take the ball la. But when i think abt it, the real reason is indifference. The ball does not cause me any trouble but might be someone else. So why must i do extra work to take the ball. Yeah.  At that moment i felt no different with people who just keep quiet when they see innocent ppl being killed or being bullies or when they turn over their back when a ship full of refugee come to ask for help. Yes. No different. Slowly i take off my seat belt and run towards that ball. It just took less than a minutes and nothing harm happen to me. It a small achievement but at least a step to a better huminity. And i'm wrong. It does impact me. I felt better knowing i might save someone from accident. And i know i will feel regret if i didnt take the ball and tmrw i heard in news someone father passed away in accident bcos of the ball. 

Believe in god?

I was reading a news on the interfaith dialog that happen recently. The writer also raised how this different from uitm seminar that discuss abt threat of Christianisation in malaysia. After reading this article, i have my me time thinking abt this from my car park to my house. To be honest sometimes i felt most people confuse between christian/judaism with the secular. I personally felt that all this 3 religion islam, christian and judaism has almost 90% similar. That 10% different mostly with regards to the main person in the religion itself - prophet muhammad saw and jesus. These religion has the same concept of believing god, compassion, kindness, and not to forget history of war. Most of what we muslim felt as sin is the same sin that list down in christian or jewish's book.  At the same time i also dont agree if christian pointing finger to us said islam is spread using sword. History shows christian involved in lots of war as well. When i was in scotland it was said that mackinsey indirectly kill 18k of people that didnt believe in christian that he believe. Does religion to be  blame? 

I once talk to a friend who dont believe in God. For him what i felt is God creation is just nature. What i felt is God comforting me just a nature thing inside you that know thing will be ok. When i give how complete our body system compare to thing that we design, for him maybe God did create the first starter but now is all just nature. Why he want to bother to god that dont have anything to do with  his life now. Yeah, it hard conversation.  We dont have any conclusion at the end. People believe what the want to believe. 

 I think the main threat of islam is very near to us and it not christian. I'm not sure how to label it but it all arround us. Advertisement, Instagram, facebook , tv are all the main source. It draw us to that all the deadly sin like proud, jealousy, greed, gossip. And we do it everyday without feel wrong abt it. When i step at my hse door, it even cross my mind, last week the whole country is talking abt GV. And almost all muslim was watching  except those like me who dont have astro. Don't get me wrong. If i got astro i also will watch. Hahhahaaha. Does that a correct thing?

Anyway, after change to my house attire, i switch on tv and watch perception.You  know the interesting was, yesterday story is abt a guy that can hear god voice and a family that believe in God vs the Dr that dont believe in God. Interesting ar? Is this really nature or God interfere? I do have more story which what i felt is god visibilty in my life but will share next time. For me, all the thing that happen to me, it cannot be the nature alone. How the nature even know abt what happen to your life vs the other's life. How one life is connected to help each other. Someone must know all this details. Nature is like random generator but not God. Everything happen for a reason 

Plan vs action

I just came back from vacation and my house need serious clean up. So when i step at my door, the plan was to wash clothes, fold, and keep the clothes in closet. Clean all the dust, mop and wash the balcony. At night will change bedsheet so i can wash tmrw. Now it 2am but what i accomplish only wash n fold clothes. They still at my living room. Ohh . Dont know where all the times go. I'm pretty sure i have lots of it when i step on the door but now my bed is calling for me. Hello mr time... R u running away from me? Please dont leave me. 

Islamophobia?

One of things that bothered me a bit before i travel was this islamophobia thingy. Just a week before i departed, isis decided to attack france. Good timing ya.  Then all the islamophobia status start flooding my facebook newsfeed. One girl being pushed to underground, taxi driver cannot get passenger, someone being denied entrance on the bus etc etc. To be honest i am a bit worried. By wearing a scarf, i'm declaring myself as muslim publicly and if all this islamophobia is happening, i can be the target. Scary ya as 30% of my travel will be alone. To be caution, i did bring a snow cap just incase i need to "disguise" myself. However this 2 weeks experience doesnt give me any bad experience. Someone still willing to offer to take my luggage up in the bus. No additional stare or what so ever while i am walking in the street. Some stranger still stop and talked to me while i was walking in edinburgh. People still sit beside me in the bus. It doesnt really look like what being shared in facebook. Funny ya.  Someone told me during the iceland trip. If you read/watch the news, you will start scared, hate/judgemental to others but when you start knowing them, it wasnt that bad after all. I guess it true. Same thing like malay chinese issue in malaysia. If you read what being shared, you see how kiasu chinese want to take over malaysia and left malay starving and how stupid and ignorant a malay can be, how easy a malay life everything also got discount. But once we be friend and know each other, they just someone' son/daughther that worry abt the parents or someone's parent that worry abt their kids and a malaysian that worry abt their country.   Sometimes news is good to give us a broader view but nowadays the news is more to ppl opinion rather than facts. 

Iceland in glance

OI was in Edinburgh before fly to iceland. There are too many war history and power struggle seen in Edinburgh. Even most homeless will carry a cardboard stating they are army previously. At least from my view, edinburgh seems to be proud with their army. Things are way different in iceland. They dont have army. Yes, they do hv war history. They fought their independent from denmark. One of our guide said, army is not to protect people but to retain power. Why we need them. Which i think is true. They really trustworthy and it kind of open. You can go to any private area without risk being shoot. Most of ppl are less judgemental.  They really promote equality between man and woman. Woman didnt hv to carry their husband family name like in normal western culture. They have thefirst  female prime minister. Really iceland exceed my expectation even in winter. It a beautiful country with beautiful heart. Wait for me summer!!!