Korban

sebenarnya aku terpikir benda ni smlm .. tapi mls btul nak berblogging. Ni berkaitan le ngn ibadat korban kita yg asal usulnya hari nabi ibrahim nyaris2 nak sembelih anak dia. So a few years back, my friedn ask me if i read salman rushdie book. Sememangnya jawaban adalah tidak .. the only book that i have momentum nak baca adalah buku shopaholic :p. So my friend mase tu kinda of bertanya if God ask us to sacrifice our son today, will we do it .. so dlm hati aku pun berpikir2 .. lama tu pikir sampai bape tahun ni... all of this wilingness .. is faith. faith that God knows than us .. faith than God always want the best for us and faith that we belong to Him. Nak cakap memang senangkan .. just "faith" tapi bila pikir2 .. i dont think i have that faith yet. Cennggg .. kita falsh back ke zaman dulu dulu when i was abt to graduate. Masa tu aku dapat offer jadi lecturer but I know I dont want to be lecturer. Dlm masa yg sama .. i really scared if i didnt take it .. i akan menganggur .. sebab dlm masa yg sama i had a hard time even to get internship..I was rejected for all my internship application. I was having this confuse confuse state until a state of depress.. So I was talking to my friend and she suggest me to solat istiharah .. but i still remember what aku cakap ngn member aku tu .. I said .. logically i should take the lecturing .. kat johor dekat ngn parents .. pastu sure2 dapat keje dah xyah menanam anggur... then is good job sebab tolong org n menyebarkan ilmu ..and i told her .. i scared if I do solat istiharah .. God will show me to take the lecturing while aku i don't think i like it... i remember i say it sambil menangis2 ..
to think abt it ... if that time I have faith to Him, I wont think that way .. because he always know the best for me .. tapi case aku ni kire ok le .. mcm 50-50 decision.. tapi bayangkan if u about to marry a handsome, charming, rich, educated, soleh , understanding guy .... dgn erti kata lain perfect la .. pastu buat solat istiharah ... and you get the guide that u should not marry him.. sure lagi confuse kan... i mean our logical brain said is GO.. but faith said NOGO.
pastu aku teringat le satu cete dlm quran (rasenye le dlm quran)... pasal nabi musa. So Allah cakap ngn nabi musa .. ada seorang yg amat bijak .. so nabi musa pun jumpa la org tu. SO dia cakap ngn org tu nak blaja dari dia la .. so Nabi musa pun follow la org tu.. Org tu cakap ok .. tapi x leh question apa yg dia buat. Kalau tanya lebih dari 3 kali dah tak leh ikut. So nabi musa cakap .. ok. So dlm journey dia, org ni buat a few stuff yg nabi musa rasa pelik sebab x mungkin org baik akan buat cam tu.. tapi aku x ingat sangat sequence n detailnya. Kalau x silap org tu bocorkan sampan org miskin .. pasu nabi musa rasa pelik la .. n bertanya la .. apsal ko buat cam tu .. tapi org tu cakap jgn tanya ... then diorang jalan lagi tiba2 .. org tu bunuh sorang budak .. pastu nabi musa tanya lagi .. pastu org tu cakap jgn tanya.. then pastu org tu robohkan rumah org .. pastu nabi musa tanya lagi apsal .. so org tu cakap la .. kerana ko tanya gak .. so lepas ni x leh ikut dah... but he explain le one by one why he did that... pasal sampan tu .. sebab kat seberang sungai ada org kaya yg jahat .. so kalau dia nampak sampan tu elok .. dia akan rampas.. so by bocorkan sampan tu .. org jahat tu x kan amik sampan org miskin... pastu lagi 2 benda tu aku pun lupa pasal apa :p.. korang cari le ..tapi kesimpulan yg aku nak cakap ialah .. aku rasa cete dlm quran ni .. actually indirectly telling us that although thing might be so clear to us .. but we only human .. so maybe there is some thing we can't understand .. so must have faith on people that know it better .. and know it all .. so indirectly saying .. must have faith on Him.