Tazkirah

Semalam aku sleep over kat rumah kawan aku .. bangun pagi xde benda nak buat aku abiskan le baca anis dia. emm there is one article yg agak menyentap jiwa dipagi2 hari .. it was abt solat. I can't remember sentence by sentence .. but it start with the ustaz kot tanya peserta dia .. bape org yg tau apa maksud ayat yg dia baca dlm solat .. lots of ppl say they didnt know. then one of the guy cakap thanks for make them realize something they don't know .. pastu ustaz tu cakap .. emm don't know or pretend dont' know. peserta tu agak kebingungan la .. then after a while .. peserta2 tu setuju .. yg all of them know the important of knowing what exactly we say in solat .. but they feel they have tendency of "nanti" which I have myself. then ustaz tu tanya lagi .. napekah benda ni terjadi .. diorang senyap ... n last ustza tu cakap .. pasal kita tak kisahkan Allah dalam kehidupan kita. Kila tak paham apa dlm solat .. bila kita sujud dan baca subhannallah .. kita tak benar2 mengkagumi kebesaran Allah... kita just buat satu ritual of saying something.. kalau kekash kita kasik kita surat .. sure kita kalau boleh nak pahamkan apa dia tulis .. tapi bile allah kasik kita surat ( al-quran) kita baca tanpa pahamkan.. so macam mana nak kenal Allah.
kita x ingat kesenangan yg kita nikmati .. tapi kita pikirkan kesusahan utk melaksanakan. So aku merasakan apa yg ustaz tu cakap so true. memang terkena batang hidung sendiri. Most of of us solat sebab kita x nak seksaan api neraka .. bape banyak kah kita solat sebab we want to be close with Him.. we want to thanks for the oxygen yg kita hirup setiap hari .. aku x cakap salah utk berbuat baik kerana takut dengan pembalasan but we owe Him so much. Seperti kalau kita miskin dan neighbour kita selalu beri pertolongan samada makan seharian atau penyekolahan anak .. sure kita will to do anything we can for the neighbour kan.. Not because we scared he will punish us but because we owe him so much. Ni baru neighbour .. just imagine what Allah has give us. EVERYTHING. maybe kita take for granted .. that what we have is what we should have and we didnt feeling like owing anything. We even blame Allah when we didnt get something.. we say life is unfair.
It is so sad to just pray because we scared a giant snakes akan belit kita dlm kubur... emm tiba2 teringat on tv3 news yesterday pasal parents complaint that pihak sekolah kasik anak dia tgk documentari pasal siksaan kubur.. parents complaint yg anak dia berubah and the documentary is too violent for the kids yg masih kecik. sometimes i feel our education potrayed Allah as Tuhan yg paling menakutkan. Yg selalu mencari apa kesalahan kita utk dipunish. Why it very rare that Allah diprotray sebagai Tuhan yg amat pemurah .. yg meminjamkan kita banyak benda .. dari sekecik2 bulu mata .. hinggalah sebesar2 matahari yg menyinar dihari siang ... Just imagine if everything is dark no sun... I think it is worst than not having a money to buy a shoe.
In our Islamic education at least in Malaysia, everything has to be done in some way and some procedure. we focusing on ibadah not tauhid. I still remember masa kecik .. aku kena baca bismillahirahman nir rahim berulang2 kali.. just because my "r" is not perfect .. and it the end my teacher just show me a hopeless face when i still can't get it. Bila dipikir2 kan does Allah really care if my "r" is no perfect when i tried my best? how abt org yg dilahirkan gagap .. does this mean their expression of love to God is lesser than a person that can say it very well? ..