politic

recently kat tv all the news pasal umno punya meeting. I really upset to listen theyl meeting the whole day just to prove that the other party was wrong by bitching abt it. don't you think it waste of time. you just justify everything. it will be better if somehow they plan what to do with the country or reflect back what they do good or bad for their previous term with regards of developing country not getting undi and what can be increase n enhanced. watching them talking just make me feel they treat the election as a war and it will end there. there is no responsibility after that. either u win n not abt your country. it really sad n those ppl are leading my country. sometimes I wonder if I be politician will I be same like them? will party more important than country? will money more important than my country. i always had confident issue with myself but looking at them and how they think I'm pretty sure I can do it 200% better. btw I'm not only talking abt umno but all the parti either pas dap or pkr. all same. look at the ceramah tht they have. all talking bad abt the other party. it nonsense to sit for 1 hour to hear ppl bitching other ppl n what we get? maybe their air liur kot or u lucky some refreshment. it sad to see a joker and follow by joker become our leader. I wonder during mahathir time how he handle the meeting. I hope he talking abt something more meaningfull.

facebook

emmm I think confirm aku one of those yg Facebook addicted. I know every single update of my Facebook friend. browsing their photo and stalking all the updates everyday without missed. .
reading the following article made me paused n think how much Facebook has affected me. I think with Facebook as everyone virtially connected it give me a false illusion of connecting. I don't feel the loneliness. Although it sound good but i think this bad as i just drift apart from god n also real ppl. I make less connection in reality. no more long hours hang out with friends except during my outdoor activities. even while waiting for food we browse the foursquare. less time spend to read normal book apatah al Quran. I decided to stop facebooking for a while but somehow ... it kind of hard to spend a day without typing facebook.com. I keep on want to touch the facebook icon .. haisshhh... yesterday is the first day but i was halfway cheated :p. I have to refrain myself until it does not effect my life anymore...

http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/withthedivine/from-facebook-to-gods-book/

maal hijrah

it has been a normal routine for malaysian to celebrate the coming of new year with doa akhir tahun and awal tahun. this year while looking for meaning of doa, i stumble upon a website yg cakap benda tu wasn't sunnah from rasullullah or even para sahabat. I was shocked. i tot that was normal practise. told my mum n sis. all of us also shocked. pastu my sis googled more and found a ceramah from dr asri. he said, there is no such thing as doa awal tahun or doa akhir tahun. we should ask for forgiveness everyday not only at the end or at the beginning for the year. the so call hadith yg always digunakan at some book to justify this ritual wasnt in the real Hadith or even Hadith diragui. it a really man made and contains mystic element. x ingat the exact statement but something like syaitan cakap yg penat dia kacau umat Islam but because of one second baca doa terus rosak segala kerja diorang selama setahun. so up to u to believe it or not. just some sharing which i think what dr Asri say is true.

Financial independent

Realize it or not, money has become one of important thing in our my life. I work Mon-Friday, at least 9 hours per day to earn money.. I need money to buy stuff and to sustain my life... Although now all the medical now paid  by company but it does equivalent to money as well...  Even to drink warm water can cost up to 60 sen. As the time spend on earning money, I noticed less time can be spend to enjoy n explore my life.. So I need to be financial independent. People always thought of business to correlate with financial independent but I don't have any business concept.. and some more ding business required more time and dedication... So now the only thing left is having some kind of royalti. But I dont have a golden voice or even a good talent in music or art... although adik mazni cakap muka aku mcm Erra Fazira ( YESS nak cakap gak.. this will become some kind of memory when i'm old :p)...
I tried to do apps but too much to learn and i never finish my lesson :p... And now I'm stuck .. dunno what to do.. I dont want to do my work till I die...
Tetiba dapat light bulb .. may be .. just maybe If i start writing something abt what I do at work for Malaysia version it might become something usefull... I dont need some kind of jumbo mambo bombastic sentence sebab technical is all abt fact and logic.. I can sell something cheaper in Malaysia.. I can help my fellow malaysian and also I can gain money ( maybe I should put money first)...

But arr .. ( in my dream mode) nanti kat bioadata author I don't have bombastic resume to put into.. how how how?? nanti jadi case chef ridz pulak kan.. :p

** Just bear with my another Fatimah's dream .. Maybe I should re-arrange my item to do before 40..

terawikh

Hari ni hari first aku gi terawikh .. not because my first puasa day ke apa .. but just no mood to go.. The past year awal2 bulan aku gi terawikh kat bayan lepas.. tapi selalunya bila dah dekat akhir2 bulan tu dah rongak. ada multiple reason .. But maybe the truth is i didnt feel it as something yg enjoyable kot...
From beginning, I didn't really like terawikh yg membaca abis satu quran.. bukan apa .. i just feel it defeat the purpose of me going to terawikh. As I dont hafal the quran ... i end up just listen n somehow it always lead to berangan.. so what the point of me going to terawikh if I berangan kan.. better I do something that benefit me. Tapi hari ni lepas bukak pose bersama2 colleague, i stop kat one of small surau utk solat maghrib. Sebab dah lagi 10 mins nak masuk isyak so aku tunggu je la .. After isyak, I decided utk tunggu je for terawikh..Amazingly I like it there...
First of all, the iman lead terawikh dgn ayat2 lazim and 8 rakaat saja.. Me super like... Right away rasa nak ambik balik alquran utk browse through ayat2 yg tersasul n tallykan ngn meaning dia.
No small kids .. it totally quiet masa solat tu.. x de sora budak ke sana ke sini menjerit etc.or main batu seremban. One of the reason I guess, the solat was quiet short n kids that come follow till the end.
Lots of old auntie .. that reminds me of old... i think in my row .. on my left n right side, had some difficulty to duduk tahiyat or bangun dari tahiyat.. they have to push they body. it just make me insaf that one day I'll be like them..

Selamat berpuasa

Selamat berpuasa to all Muslim friends... Time flies very fast .. just remember a year ago was ramadhan and I move to my new hse and now it ramadhan again.. This year .. ramadhan wasnt start with a good one.. somehow my heart are so panas .. and wasnt as calm as it suppose for holy month. I hope.. somehow along the way .. it become more soften but can I just hoping without any action? I noticed that I had a very less tolerance with bulshit or ppl that I think directly or indirectly hypocrite. It wasn't purposely but it just who I am ..  when u say something or do something .. it must be correct and must be aligned .
Some how reflecting it back to me .. me too like to bullshit. So does right to expect something from people but u cant do yourself?

Kinoko No Yama

snacks ni adalah amat sedap ok. coeklat dia sedap n biscuit dia sedap. Where can I find in malaysia... adakah daiso ada jual??? yg ni gambo strawberry... but semalam makan yg cokelat ,, sedapnya...

it saturday...

I was reading my old blog post... sometimes it good to have a blog,, you can see how your life and you changed over time. It seems my life was more flowerish and happier  & free last time... now it more complicated i guess. found this in my old post ... hahahahhaha ...


10 Tahun yang hadapan (tahun 2015)


Insya allah umor saya dah 35. Kalau saya dah kawin and ada anak .. maybe I'll working as lecturer ke .. cikgu tadika ke.. ahahahah... maybe saya jadik penjual insurans berjaya.. ( bear with me kay).. or maybe saya still with Intel doing something related to training. Tapi ada gak terpikir nak amik something related to management. So tatau aa ..depends on flow la. Kalau
saya tak kawin lagi .. ya allah ...ta mo la cakap .. sebab I really hope dah saya dah kawin by then. So kalau mase tu tak lagi .. terpakse le saya alter post ni.
emm saya pun tatau na tagged sapa lagi sebab banyak kawan saya dah ditagged. I have similar cycle of friend with my friends. ANyway .. saya tagged
1. Suresh
2. Eja
3. Lina

OWC

Recently people are talking abt the OWC - obedient wife club.. which their main intention is to help reduce the divorce rate n helping to prevent all masalah sosial  that related to sex or gender abuse. But somehow reading their article can't help but make me feel that they are actually creating a gender bias. They are blaming all those issue to women.
   Emmm maybe I being naive here as I'm not a guy n not even married to one. But i really think the real reason behind all those sosial issue regarding rape because the guys wasn't taught properly how to respect a women.. Some of them might grow up seeing their mum being abuse by their father and give them the initial lesson that how husband-wife relationship should work. They never learnt or even see love between their parents...
 And for divorce, I tot a marriage fell because no communication. When the other can't really tell the other party what they really feel, their thought etc. They slept to each other everyday but wake up just feeling like a strangers. they can't share their dreams..their fear.. I might be wrong but as much as people say guy n girl are different where guys only think abt sex but I do think they longing for the same thing. Companionship... emm .. maybe thats the reason i still single. the guys that im looking for is not real.. hahahaha I still in my "la la" land...

astro STUPID.

The issue with Astro havent settle till now. Everytime I talked to them, i sure feel depressed. Imagine yesterday I called and asked for this officer that promised to handle my case. As you cannot connect directly to them, the other officer said she will call me back. Waited until 2pm and nobody call. So i call back. This time they said yg budak tu baru masuk keje so she will call me anytime until 12 midnite .... Waited until 10pm... then i called them back. Suddenly officer yg baru ni cakap yg hari ni budak yg aku nak cakap tu off. Geram kan....

hari ni aku fax statement but x sampai kat diorang. Dont know which one ada problem ... my fax or Astro's fax.. the stupid thing abt astro they split their call center and email.. so if the fax not working, there is no other way you can send to them. If you send email to wecare@astro, other dept will handle your case which might AGAIN end up to no where. I just cant help to feel so geram with their STUPID systemm.. It so STUPID that I actually cried after the call... Thinking of bringing this matter to public.. if it can happen to me , it can happen to anyone...

anyway i like this song from chuck season 3... it nice .. just ease my sakit hati to astro..

he stars have made their way
I raise my glass and part my lips tend to many deep
The only time I see you is in my sleep

Someday, get up on my way
I think I’ll be okay for a while
I know you were never mine to keep
But I know that I’ll see you in my sleep

But time has been unkind
and kept me far from you
But I know you will be holding me
In my sleep

I’ve been hanging on
scraping by all my life
And I know you will be holding me
In my sleep

I’ve been hanging on
Scraping by all my life

And I know I’ll miss you
I’ll always miss you
But I know I’ll see you
In my sleep

I know I’ll miss you
I’ll always miss you
But I know I’ll see you
In my sleep

birthday

while looking at the cute cupcakes, one of my relatives cakap " next time during her son birthday she will order this cupcakes and distribute to the kids friend in kindergarten. emm tetiba terpikir. what will be the best way to celebrate birthday with your kids? should we spend the whole time doing something that he or she want like going to mall, playing in the waterpark, or celebrate the birthday party. will it make them happy. I guess with the attention and gift any kids will be happy. does it important for them to feel happy or rather we should do something to nurture their ability to share with other people even those not related to them. instead of sharing or distribute cupcakes to friends in kindergarden, will it better if we bring them to feed the homeless? or give them 100 of rm1 notes and let him give donation to the begger or bring him to celebrate with old folks home ? its not the coolest thing to do but if we make it a routine, will they grow up and feel these is what need to be done rather than they doing something good. but not sure what he feel when seeing his friends bringing cakes to everyone during his birthday while he didn't bring anything to them. will they feel left out? does it a good thing to make your kids feel it is OK to be different so they will not feel shy or doing something just for the sake of other ppl do it? I don't know.

kids

Baru tau yg one of my senior ada anak OKU.. i think life must be very hard to her.. i always wonder how I will react if somehow i just lucky to have one... I'm not sure if I can accept it. I really salute those mums who really patient to their kids..
somehow deep in my heart I have a guts feeling that if I have a kids, I may have one like that... it is not because I feel Allah want to test me or He want to punish me .. but being MYSELF who i know my deepest darkest feeling, having a kids like that might be the best remedy of becoming less selfish. Although it might turn out to be the other way ....

1st post

First post from my beloved air.. :) :) :) cannot stop smiling... i promised myself to buy me an air once i completed an apps... hahahahahah but i broke my promise. Just can't wait as I keep on dragging to start writing serious apps... dont think hello world n currency converter count right :p... but.... life is too short to wait .. hahahah ( anything also got justification)... So far it pretty good with my usage ( just 2 days old) but I noticed that it kind of hot when I do screen sharing with my desktop. The fan start kicking.. other that that it pretty "cool". And also noticed that background for photo booth a bit lagging but not sure if that expected for slower processor?? .. Will update my air photo soon .. can't upload yet..

The Lion in Love

A LION demanded the daughter of a woodcutter in marriage. The Father, unwilling to grant, and yet afraid to refuse his request, hit upon this expedient to rid himself of his importunities. He expressed his willingness to accept the Lion as the suitor of his daughter on one condition: that he should allow him to extract his teeth, and cut off his claws, as his daughter was fearfully afraid of both. The Lion cheerfully assented to the proposal. But when the toothless, clawless Lion returned to repeat his request, the Woodman, no longer afraid, set upon him with his club, and drove him away into the forest.

pimple...

huhhhuh .. i'm blessed to have a quite a good skin without acne problem.. my biggest problem is hydration. Recently I noticed that I started to have some kind of pimple which is hard to get rid. Dunno why but I suspect due to recent changes on my morning routine which I include jogging at least 1km. It is weird because people say that your skin will be better when u exercise... but for me is the other way.
 Just now I google little bit abt this and it actually common issue. When you exercise especially cardio type, you will sweat toxin. This actually help to reduce pimple but if we didnt take shower and let the sweat dry, it will cause clogging into your pore which eventually cause this hard pimple.. So next time, should not browse internet etc after jogging ... it just make me unaware of time....

farewell

Attending farewell again ... and this time my ex-colleague migrating to US. next month lagi sorang will leave penang. It always nice to start something new but at the same time it is scary too. To blend in to new environment, new culture and adapting wasnt an easy task especially when you are a bit old :)... but still changes is always good rather that complaining everything on the world.
Looking back I didnt regret my decision to leave my ex-company but I still feel something wasnt really right yet.  I need to get a job or income that give me more freedom on time. So many thing i want to do and so many thing I have to do but with 2/3 to 3/4 of my time spending doing my office work, I don't think it will bring anywhere. I havent yet cross any check on my thing to do before 40 and next year the age will be increase lagi. Patutkah membuat decision yg drastik after I finish pay off my hse?

handbag vs headphones...

I was looking for handbag. I feel little bit bored what to wear or which handbag to use etc.... initially i had little bit confident with my financial condition so decide to spend some money on designer handbag which the cheaper is coach la.. i browse the outlet version and also the real store. Can't find anything i like in the outlet version but I like lots of thing in the real store. narrowed down to a few bag... but after i use currency converter, my credit card statement, my account balance... emmm it seems i still far from being stable :p... so terpaksa la lupakan saja.... so tukar arah la ke 2nd class brand .. :(.. so browse lak macy and zappo website.. find a few that i like which within the budget but I can't decide which one.. also found sunglasses.. tetiba terbanyak la plak kat my cart... terpaksa la pick which one is important and ... after a thorough thinking ... i end up buy this headphone instead which is USD9 with free shipping :).. I guess if I have more time thinking and thinking .. i'll be rich by now...

translation

I'm not a lyrics person but somehow I like maher's insyallah in English version compare to Malay version. first time masa dengar English version the words amat menyusuk kalbu but when I listen to Malay version, it sound so wrong. my friend ada cakap that malay language itself is not a nice language but i don't think in this case pasal language sebab I like some of opick's song which is in malay very much. maybe the translation cacat ke? I told my sis n she agreed with this. we try to re - translate the song but my sis cakap macam bangla cakap Malay plak. so I guess things are best in it's original form instead of translation. although dah translate word by word some might just missed in translation n sometimes it not the meaning but the emotion or the feel yg try disampaikan.
let's learn new language. errr Ada kaitan ke?


everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone
All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way


Everytime you commit one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insha Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray


OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insyaallah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way

Andainya kau rasa tak berupaya
Hidup sendirian, tiada pembela
Segalanya suram, bagai malam yang kelam
Tiada bantuan tiada tujuan
Janganlah berputus asa
Kerana Allah bersamamu

(Korus)
Insya Allah... Insya Allah... Insya Allah...
Ada jalannya
Insya Allah... Insya Allah... Insya Allah...
Ada jalannya

Andainya dosamu berulang lagi
Bagai tiada ruang untuk kembali
Dikau keliru atas kesilapan lalu
Membelenggu hati dan fikiranmu
Janganlah berputus asa
Kerana Allah bersamamu

(Ulang korus)

Kembalilah
Kepada Yang Esa
Yakin padaNya
Panjatkanlah doa
Oh Ya Allah
Pimpinlah daku dari tersasar
Tunjukkan daku ke jalan yang benar
Jalan yang benar
Jalan yang benar
Jalan yang benar...

awaken

We were given so many prizes
We changed the desert into oasis
We built buildings of different lengths and sizes
And we felt so very satisfied
We bought and bought
We couldn't stop buying
We gave charity to the poor 'cause
We couldn't stand their crying
We thought we paid our dues
But in fact
To ourselves we're just lying

Oh...I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves

We were told what to buy and we'd bought
We went to London, Paris and Costa Del Sol
We made show we were seen in the most exlusive shops
Yes we felt so very satisfied

We felt our money gave us infinite power

We forgot to teach our children about history and honor
We didn't have any time to lose
When we were.. (were)
So busy feeling so satisfied

I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves

We became the visuals without a soul
despite the heat
Our homes felt so empty and cold
To fill the emptiness
We bought and bought
Maybe all the fancy cars
And bling will make us feel satisfied

My dear brother and sister
It's time to change inside
Open your eyes
Don't throw away what's right aside
Before the day comes
When there's nowhere to run and hide
Now ask yourself 'cause Allah's watching you

Is He satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?
Is Allah satisfied?

Oh..I'm walking with my head lowered in shame from my place
I'm walking with my head lowered from my race
Yes it's easy to blame everything on the west
When in fact all focus should be on ourselves

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmania.com/awaken_lyrics_maher_zain.html
All about Maher Zain: http://www.musictory.com/music/Maher+Zain

travelling

I love travelling but never really think deeply why I like it. few days back while waiting for friends, me n my housemate was talking about doing thing that you passion abt. for her is traveling too. n she had an idea to do a cheaper version of private tour guide. emmm although I like traveling but I know for sure i won't like that kind of job. In one of my dream ( yeah I hv lots of dream) I did think of opening my own tour agency who cater for a budget travelling n cheap vacation but it handle mainly the package including the flight booking, hostel or hotel n suggestion on iteniary but without tour guide. but I don't think it will work sebab people who on budget like me will not pay for somebody to plan for them. so sure tak success punya. so kena kasik free je la n I will started it with my near dying travel blog.
back to the topic. When I did some kind of thinking I realize I love to travel sebab nak shopping murah, nk buat benda yg xde kat sini or mahal kat msia, To see new thing n experience new thing but I won't like it if it happen too many time. i means I don't think I like to go see Eiffel tower every month. yeah it beautiful but with the queue n crowd I prefer to sit in cafe n eat my chocolate pastry. hahahaa. n il love to travel with my good friend or to bring mum to see new stuff but im not a ppl person. so i dont think i like to travel in big group. in short as much as I like to travel but become tour guide or stewardess just not my cup of tea. so I guess even if it was something that we passion abt but too much of something might just killed it. one big thing that I love abt traveling is figure out thel details n putting thing into the pieces. I am soo geekkkkkkk. 

testing

I always want an apps that allowed me to update blog mobile. I actually thinking of changing from blogspot to wordpress but when I saw Cikpah post from blogbooster, i know it something I have to try. so now my first post using blogbooster.
nway I was in process to loss weight. my target is to loss 5 kilos which give me back my ideal weight. yeahh don't make that look " ko nak tinggal tulang je ke". it's my body n I know what is wrong. I can't wear some of my favorite clothes anymore so that is my biggest motivation. actually I haven't do anything that so called losing weight program yet. still eat like a whale. FYI I just finish eat kfc for my tea while having subway for lunch. so much for a diet person la kan. but at least now i concern on how much calory that i took. for example i always like my subway with thousand island n bbq sauce but today i just opt for bbq sauce. im so proud of me.
last week during my few days in Thailand, I actually lost 1 kilo. maybe the long walk that we took everyday to go from one shop to another shop or just strolling on the beach. or maybe the long one day of snorkel or maybe the spicyness of the food that cause me toilet most of the time after dinner. even a kilos lost make me happy as it really make different in in jeans. :) I just love the thinner fatimah.

One Step Closer to the Maxis Om Nom Nom Race

I just knew about this race tonight and guess what? the due date 12/1/2011 which is today.. Dont have time to think what to write but I really know I WANT to join this race. I love to EAT and I love Food and free stugg.. So this race is so perfect. You can eat and still get rewards. Normally, you eat and you just get a bigger tummy :).
I know in mind who will be in my group. Of course Cik Pah is the best candidate. She seems to know everything and everywhere about food. hahahahahha..
uhhuhuhhh .....While reading the full requirement on what to put in this entry, I just noticed that the due date is 5pm.. Arrggghhhhh. Dammmnnnnn... Dammnnnn ... I missed a golden opportunity.... Damnn..
Anyway it seems nuffnang got lots of interesting competition... can feel my adrenalin pump in... next in line i'll join the ipad contest :)...