partition

I'm thinking of creating partition of my blog. This blog will be a place where I nagging, put my feeling and my thought on.
another blog will be solely for my travel tips ( macam la banyak kan ..). I have another blog to put in the resipi and also another blog for my other stuff... emmm can I handle it? Satu blog pun x larat kan... :p Check out my travel blog on the blog list

itunes U

After i bought the iphone .. mula la berjinak2 kat apps store. I found one thing in the store that I really salute Steve Job - Itunes U. You can get a lots of thing FOC. Even a whole semester lecture in Standford U. You can choose any class you interested on in some of top university. So you kind of virtually been there and listen to those lecture.  Name it, from music, motivation, philosophy, history to the nerdy programming, it all there FOC ( i repeat again FOC). As much as ppl said APPLE ripped off the customer money with their ridiculous price but I think they give you a priceless experience and they give you opportunity to get more than what you actually pay..... ( I Hope APPLE can let me become ambassador so i get mac book for free... yeahhhhh... ). Btw i cakap je .. is not that I fully utilize the itunes U but it is there....

Plan to put my imac in the room back. I just realize i didn't like to be disturb when i concentrate with my stuff. Sometimes pity to my hsemate/my mum as they talking to me when I really want to concentrate I just give a blank look or "i dont care" look. When my mac in the room last time, i will stay inside the room whenever i want to do something and only come out to living hall to do the human connection ( yeah right ...).. when i decide to put it in the hall, i tot i ready to have a real adult life but i guess I wasnt ready yet. Tapi dunno how to fit my mac in the room. Need to do a full room makeover... x pe la pikir after my bali trip.  ( does this another syndrome of macbook excuse creation? emmm i have lots of this kind of syndrome where if I want something  .. somehow my whole body - physical n emotion find a way to give me excuses to get what I want .. --- dangerous ... ) . Anyway i taking a week off. 4 days to go to bali n the rest is to give some times for me to do what i want to do.. hope it give me enough time to clear my chest n my head.

3 idiots...

my friend suggest tgk cete ni... mulasal i just ignore dia nya suggestion as too much in my plate right now. So much worries that make me can't think and feel so depressed. My credit card kena telan ngn ATM machine ( dont ask why but it happens) last 2 weeks and until now my card replacement x sampai2 lagi. Next week I'm going to Bali and no credit card at all. I was planning to book a hotel near Safari Bali as they give free entrance ticket but because their need credit card to secure the booking terpaksa la batalkan. So terpaksa la duduk kat Kuta ja which i reserved last 2 months using my old credit card. At the same times at work I have deliverable this week and because they use stupid windows app, when it give unhandled exception i dont know why n how to fix it.

 Anyway berbalik pada cete 3 idiots tu, after my friend beriya2 suruh tgk then i stream using you tube to see why dia so want me to watch it. Bila dah tgk sket wow best. It is different from normal Hindi movie and really2 good. It touch abt education and really2 funny. I really laugh and i think the script writer really good.

As much as I agree with Rancho but I'm not sure what is the result if it being implemented and to tell the truth I have doubt if we are ready yet as that kind of educator. I'm an exam person so it a bit hard for me to open up my mind to think a clever way to make ppl really interested in knowledge. My thinking always how to make the kids follow the correct path but not how to teach the kids choose they correct path. As much as I ashame to admit but i know deep down in my heart i saw educations first as the tool to improve social  status - to run from poverty. then only yg lain2.

 Bila pikir2 as long as I have doubt means I didn't believe it right... so confuse because a part of me really do think education should be like that and a part of me scared to love knowledge.. will we regret...?
.... maybe I'm the worry Raju. I hope All is well.

leopard vs snow leopard...

it seems my wish for mac book air wasnt an easy target. So much roadblock before even opening sdk for the apps. I started to download sdk sabtu tghari and near 12.30 midnite, it already download half. When I'm surf the net tetiba the cat panjat atas meja .. n as malas nak layan so i just go to sleep. Then bila bangun pagi, when I check the download dah stop but size 1.8G instead of 3.5G. Stop at 12.27am. I guess the cat somehow step on the kb. Geramm .. tapi sabar je la.. next time has to put another window kat depan so the chances of screw it up accidently is lower.  Ok .. then stop all other download so it will be faster a bit n download  the SDK again. And this time the file finish download and i check the size is correct 3.5G. So excitedly nak install la kan. tetiba x leh install. aphalll... then only notice that my OS is Leopard but sdk yg avalaible is for snow leopard. DAMNNNN... . To upgrade ke snow leopard kena bayar usd29 and next year another OS will come out -- LION. So mcm x worth it je nak upgarde. In a way good thing jugak at least i know should not buy mac air before 2011 summer.
Luckily bila googled finally found the old link SDK for leaopard n it still work.... I hope nothing happens tonite.. ( please let the download finish). Die to see the first hello world....

mac book air

uhhh .. sgt cantikk .. so slim n small. can just bring everywhere n anywhere. Serious nak tapi xde duit. If I put stoking infront of my bed this christmas, will Santa Clause gimme mac book air? Please2 please2 santa. Teringat masa kecik2 because of this Christmas, me, sister n brother decide to hang our stoking, n give each other person a gift to put into that stoking..  my brother instead of letak stoking, dia letak bakul baju depan katil dia .. BUT the next day bila wake up, no gift for me n my sister .. but we did give to our brother :(. Sudah kena tipu.

anyway pasal mac book air, i want to put challenge to myself. If I  able to cross my thing to do on the apps thingy then only i will reward myself... Yeahhhhhhh ... Hope by that there are better model n cheaperrrr :p

Mak Saya dah balik kg :(

Just send my mum ke airport n now I still infront Airport. Macam malas balik. My relation with my mum is not always sugar coating relationship. I'm a girl that like confrontation with ppl that I close with. There are times where we fight errr I means I fight her back when she say something that I doesn't like / agree or simply when she nagging at me. But deep in my heart I really respect her with all my heart and I start missing her already. Sending ppl off always the hardest thing. Balikkkk tidoooooo

what your definition of happiness

Tadi tgk drama melayu - dia atilia. So couple ni just found out yg wifenya pregnant n give the good news to their parents. Of course the parents are super duper happy. My friend tetiba asked .. " Bila la kita nak kasik this good news to our parents..and asked my mum ... makcik suka x kalau imah kasik news ni ". My mum nak jawab but can't seems to find the correct answer so the question just left hanging. I respect my mum for not saying yes or at least try to think abt it.

I felt that getting married/getting pregnat is not marker yg boleh indicate your kids happiness and we should not impose that idea & our hope to kids. Of course we should feel happy if somehow our kids decide to get marry or they are expecting a baby etc but should not put that as a checklist of our own happiness.  I think parents should feel happy for all the thing that your kids achieved doesnt matter what is it as long as the kids are growing ( bukan memanjang ya .. but  growing la).. A small milestone in your kids life should be our big happiness. 

I noticed, when the kids is baby, all parents are super duper excited with the kids growth. Everything is super zoom especially for the first kids. Excited with our kids first words la .. our kids boleh meniarap la .. etc. But as they grow older especially when they finish their college, parents will stop to notice n celebrate those meaningfull milestone moment. We look for something more material like married la, baby la, buying car la , buying hse la...
 Like having a baby, the first happiness should base on the fact that our kids will have their wonderful parenting experience instead of we will have our OWN grandkid.

And if i'll become a parents one day, I hope i still believe the most important is what they want in their life n what make them happy. Of course something yg purely right la as I believe people will only be happy forever if they doing the right things. Purely right must be something that we really believe by heart .. not something we give our own excuses so that it will be right ( ok .. bullet to myself).

And I prayed n i hope that my kids will find someone that they can share their dreams and someone that can help ease their emotion burden. But if somehow fate decide that they doesnt have opposite partner, I'll die happily if their life is surrounded by good people that will always cherish them.

So in another 35 years if i still alive n someone asked me similar question ... my answer will be . "Seeing how they growing for the past 30 years is already happiness to me". Why 35? hahahah... another 5 years ... married or not, i plan to hv a kids. bukan bayi tabung uji etc but plan for adoption. I dont want to lose that parenting experience and i really hope my parents are happy with my decision.

20 sen

Tadi masa kat tesco aku beratur belakang makcik. Agak tua la dalam 40 plus near 50. Makcik tu bayar dlm cash so ada la balance. Masa cashier tu nak pulangkan balance, cashier tu terjatuh duit syilling 20 sen. Cashier tu dok bongkok cari tapi x jumpa. As ada orang beratur untuk bayar So dia cakap la " sekejap ya. 20 sen terjatuh". Makcik tu boleh merengus dgn agak kuat n muka masam gila. And while the girl scan my Stuff makcik tu tunggu je. Adoiiii makkk. Gila terkejut aku. It just 20 sen n the girl bukan sengaja pun. Pelik tapi benar.

POW vs POS

While in war museum, there was a few photo pasal POW - prisoner of WAR. They were force to wear only cawat. I guess, its not only due to safety/no clothes etc but also as one of humiliation to them. Normal people wear a proper attire while they were force to be half naked.
But now being in half naked seems to be something to be proud of... You can see in the sports, in the beach ... and those with a good body are eagerly to show it off.
The different between both, one is done out of freedom while the other is done due to no freedom..

POW - prisoner of WAR

POS- Prisoner of sport?

Patut kah?

Hari ni ada member tumpang gi keja. Normally bila dia tumpang pergi masa balik pun sama la. At 6.27 rasa dah x larat nak wat keje, i called my friend but he didnt pick up. So i went to prayer room dulu. I called again after prayer tak angkat gak n aku tunggu la kat prayer room sambil main games. After near half n hour, aku call lagi but x pick pun. Setelah mentry banyak kali baru la dapat go through but can't really hear sebab reception. But I heard bunyi noise suara2 orang which aku merasakan dia dah balik. Tetiba rasa geram even actually bukan aku melangut pun. Aku dok main games sambil tunggu dia reply call. Try to console myself that he going through lots of thing but somehow masih geram lagi. I perform my Maghrib prayer and try call him again but x dapat. Last sekali aku SMS yg cakap balik dulu. But till 12 midnite no reply etc. Tetiba I got a SMS tanya if I go for our friend open hse. He didn't even brought up why he didn't pickup my phone yg mana aku nya miscall ada dalam 14 kali. Rasanya aku geram bukan pasal masa yg dibuang tunggu dia pun but more on aphal dia boleh lupa nak inform aku dia dah balik. Am I so insignificant?

New gadget

Suka suka suka. Last Friday Aku telaha berjaya dapatkan iPhone pilihan hati. Penat dowh Tunggu 3 jam for the phone but it really worth it. Wonder why it took me too long to decide to hv smart phone. I like the apps. N now i understand better how create a good apps that can sell. Your games must be not too hard so people can level up but not to easy that people doesnt feel boring. Then kena ada trial version. So in short, it not an easy money. In another hand , my hse mate parents Ada Kat sini n the main reason they come early instead of during awal Muharram bcos they want to go and see ustaz lokman for perubatan Islam. I google little bit about it and it a bit interesting. In my family only my mum had this kind of experience where she become like some one else. Last time it happen 25 years back and I still remember the event roughly. Ingat yg my uncle sembunyi belakang Pintu. But for this ustaz lokman the queue is too long. My Hsemate queue for the number yesterday for like 2 hours n today even with the number she has to wait for 3 hours n yet the number not even Started. Lots of people rupanya ada sakit. I heard the main clinic in gombak fully booked for this year. The next available appointment is in April next year. She told me Ada pelbagai penyakit n even Ada yg kena cancer. Emm I wonder if cancer can be cure using this mistik medical. Even the biggest tok guru went to stanford for heart operation.

a regret event..

tadi gi giant nak beli some groceriess. masa nak balik kat kete tetiba ada ah so ni dtg dekat ngn kete. she say something which wasnt really clear but i think i can guess what she want. but instead of giving what i think she want, i say " ha?" ... and now she has to come near me.. and say "saya x cukup duit.. boleh mintak 3 ringgit".  and i hate what i did at that moment.. without a smile face... but with a face yg tergesa2, i open my handbag n grab 3 ringgit n pass to her. quickly i masuk kete and lock my door. And only then my sense come to work. For a person to put down their pride n asked for a money.. it already hard enough.. why i make it harder for them? what harm an auntie can do to me.. worst come to worst she just grabbed my handbag n i think i still can win the fight. i think it will brighten her more if at least i smile sincerely .. and she even wish me selamat hari raya...  i hate my self.. sometimes my sceptical are too extreme that i dont care people feeling... i wish i should have less prasangka buruk :(..

Ibu

sangat sedih .. n sgt terasaaa..

Membaca....

Last saturday i was reviewed a few kids punya penulisan. Rasa nak sakit jantung dgn ayat diorang.. " P.Ramlee adalah seorang penyeronok". "Mak saya merupakan pemberi kasih sayang". "Dia merupakan pembagi gol bagi pasukan sepanyol". "Tokoh sukan saya adalah P.ramlee".. etc... My first impression .. wahh budak2 ni macam x pernah baca buku cerita..agak mengelupur jugak la. Terus rasa nak beli banyak2 buku cerita & ask them to make summary. I talked to few of my friend abt this... One of them give me a very good advise and even to myself. Dia cakap.. the important thing right now is not their grammer but what they write abt & to nurture their passion. Do praise them on what they have wrote to give them motivations. Listen to what they wrote instead of critic je. Give them the inspiration to be success and eventually they will have their drive.

The different between them and the younger me is, i want success and i look for it while for them, they dont care (hahahah macam tipu jugak.. when i was kids my motivation is not success but i just want to get the prize... heheheh) ... Anyway to make an A student out of kids yg memang nak dapat A is easy but this kids is dont care. Tapi betul jugak. I talked to one of them yg dapat gagal dalam periksa. His ambition nak jadik pilot.. so i cakap le.. kalau gagal je.. xkan jadik pilot.. jadik pemandu bus je nanti. And he replied back " Takpe la jadi pemandu bus.. atleast dapat duit".  The ambition is not pure.. just for the sake of having ambition but not yet able to drive him.

Anyway one of my friend suggestion is to read to them cerita pasal tokoh2 & biogragrafi. It will give them inspiration and let them see that all the tokoh is normal ppl & due to hard work & passion they can be success. I do agree with this and looking back, myself jugak kureng membaca buku pasal tokoh2 ni. Tu  pasal la kureng inspiration in life. Although I can consider myself is quite success but still most of the time I have the feeling of uneasy that I'm wasting my time. I think the main reason sebab aku x de benda yg aku really has passion on. I just follow with the flow which at the end x beri satisfaction in life.. So I guess this suggestion is good for me to find my own life too . ( YES thing to do againnnn)..

Another suggestion to give them read a really good book. The good books will always give the impact to them instead of the chikc flick. My friend give some suggestion of malay literature yg aku sendiri pun x pernah baca.. pannggg malukan dengan diri sendiri. I tried to read salam rushdie punya cerita to have a feeling reading a good literature but just few pages sebab pening ngn englishnya but yet in my own language I didnt treasure what we actually have. So last few days saya dgn tamaknya telah membeli beberapa buku on this. First gi popular but i just notice that nowadays susah nak jumpa buku cam ni kat store... yg banyak nye " Cinta... " .. "Sepi ...".. "Rindu ...". and it hard to find a GOOD MALAY books for kids.. ( bulb light : boleh buat buku cete budak).. ERRRGGGHH.. Anyway i found a website yg ada banyak buku  http://www.ujanailmu.com.my/.

Sindrom bosan dgn hidup sendiri

Perasan bosan ni datang balik... emm actually bukan bosan but uneasy feeling sebab rasa aku wasting my life. Dok blog hop, and nampak sorang ni bersamba la.. yg sorang ni dok asyik travel sini-sana la.... n me? Still doing my routine work. Bangun pagi, gi keja.. balik keja, dinner kat depan tv.. malam tido. Uhhh boringggsss.... xkan le lagi 10 tahun pun nak wat benda yg sama? Arggghhhh

peoms, prayer & promise

Been listening to this song but never really care abt the lyrics. Tadi lepas jogging melepak sambil melayan perasan kat tasik tiba2 my ipod pop up lagu ni. I do think the lyrics is nice..  ( hahaha i'm so oldiesttt)..

I've been lately thinking
About my life's time
All the things I've done
And how it's been
And I can't help believing
In my own mind
I know I'm gonna hate to see it end

I've seen a lot of sunshine
Slept out in the rain
Spent a night or two all on my own
I've known my lady's pleasures
Had myself some friends
And spent a night or two in my own home

And I have to say it now
It's been a good life all in all
It's really fine
To have a chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and pass the pipe around

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it's been since yesterday
And what about tomorrow
And what about our dreams
And all the memories we share

The days they pass so quickly now
Nights are seldom long
And time around me whispers when it's cold
The changes somehow frighten me
Still I have to smile
It turns me on to think of growing old
For though my life's been good to me
There's still so much to do
So many things my mind has never known
I'd like to raise a family
I'd like to sail away
And dance across the mountains on the moon

I have to say it now
It's been a good life all in all
It's really fine
To have the chance to hang around
And lie there by the fire
And watch the evening tire
While all my friends and my old lady
Sit and watch the sun go down

And talk of poems and prayers and promises
And things that we believe in
How sweet it is to love someone
How right it is to care
How long it's been since yesterday
What about tomorrow
What about our dreams
And all the memories we share

i read poj's blog comment and tertarik tgk blog yg dia cakap pasal food photography. Uhuhuh .. serious sgt menarik blog dia sebab banyak gambar. The greece trip's photo is sgt le menarik n rasa cam nak gi greece lak. And till now, aku terbayang squid salad. Macam sedap.. :). Hari ni tgk the despicable 3D. First time tgk 3D and I think is quite good too. Some scenes can really see it pop up in front of you but maybe only 10% of it :).  If you go to see the movie... watch till the end sebab ada lagi banyak scene2 comel benda kaler kuning tu.  Anyway tadi mencari sandal sebab semua sandal ku sudah putus. My sandal yg pakai gi gurney pun dlm perjalana reben putus, so terpaksa la kan :). Anyway I like this Aldo sandal but the price is way over the budget. It fall under greats deal item but still near 200. So I decided just get a makcik sandal from primavera around RM69.  I think it will do for my office & casual wear. Anyway balik rumah still thinking abt the Aldo shoe. In US the price is USD30..  Still thinking nak beli ke x as i just bought a sandal.

1 wk review

uhh.. ramai yg tanya .. best x tempat baru? honestly... i feel intel's environment more nicer & luxury but now I'm adapting. Start to accept the fact that I'm using Pentium 4 and the facts that my windows access need to go through server. Maybe is a good thing so that I concentrate on my work and leave early :). At the time that I feel kind of x syiok, i remind back what the reason I'm leaving Intel. Just talk to my manager ... and the expectation is still the same which I think is quite good compare to my work in Intel. At first I tot Altera is quite an establish company but looking at my experience I feel they have more to do. But can see they slowly try to improve. I was planning to have a clear expectation from my bos & discuss abt my working hours too tapi semalam x kesampaian. I think it a good thing to clearly put a boundary what is my working hours. I have learn in Intel, a too cramp scehdule & stay long in office will make me less motivated. Tapi semalam x sempat nak cakap & i wonder will my boss shocked with my bold action of discussing that?

First day at new place

hari ni hari pertama keje kat tempat baru.. Boringggsss .... uhuhh .. benda2 yg turn off utk hari pertama

1. Toilet duduk xde air.. just toilet cangkung je yg ada air. Lucky disable toilet ada air but a bit scary to use sebab toilet terus mengadap pintu and latch dia akan menakutkan.
2. cafe makanan yg x sedap. I'm not a chosy person for food n sangup makan lauk cafe in intel for 5 years. I just can't stand today's food. Still feel hungry after that.
3. PC adalah pc lama yg amat slow. Pentium 4. It using linux n to access windows kena guna winframe which takes some times to connect to server.
4. Audio x leh pakai ...

i hope the work is ok as that why i leaving to here. my manager will only back this thursday. so floating la sampai end of the week

AM I gergasi??

hari ni aku lepas balik dari bj mensurvey kain langsir.. tetiba aku notice sesuatu.. sandal kayu ku sudah nak koyakkk.. uhhh.. sedihhh. Termasuk sandal ni, aku ada banyak sandal yg telah terputus.. :(. sandal carlo rino yg beli mase nak gi bali pun dah putus. baru je berumur kurang 6 bulan. sandle wedges yg dibeli kurang 6 bulan lepas jugak sudah putus. kasut putih ku sudah nak tanggal tapak. Kasut hush puppies ala2 makcik pun nak tanggal tapak.. APAKAH? adakah kaki ku kaki gergasi? sekarang ni mcm x de kasut nak pakai.. :(..

Btw... weekend ni aku dah langgar vow aku x nak shopping. semalam telah meroyan beli selendang ala2 selendang arab. uhuh sedar x sedar dah sambar 5 helai :(. balik rumah cam menyesal. Hari ni lak telah termasuk kedai la senza di mana ada sales n on top on that HSBC ada 15% discount lagi.. Saya telah terbeli pijama long sleeves. which i dunno if i will wear it or not :p. But it comfy, some more got 70% discount + 15%. So this pijama cost around Rm36. It a little bit baggy but who cares.. sleepwear suppose to make u feel comfortable :).

Living your dream

Hari ni aku dapat a good news.. Not for me.. but my good friend's mum decided utk enroll Master for Child Study ( errr.. lebih kurang la yekk).. I'm really2 happy, excited .. err .. maybe more on kagum with the mum. Mak dia dah 50++ yg dah nak ke 60 rasanya but still... she has the passionate to reach up for her dream. Saya pun nak jugak.. tapi apakah dream saya? Kena amik masa bertapa ni... Anyway buat masa ni.. i have my dream hse & I dream of having a freedom to do my exciting engineering but free from office politic. (eerr .. adakah itu dream??).. Saya jugak dream utk travel around the world.. YESSS.. I SHOULD Do that....

Btw Mak dia memang ajar tadika for quite long.. but she doesn't have degree. If were her .. sure i takut.. some more umor dah lanjut but.. SHE do it.. uhuhhh saya sangat salute.. cannot imagine how she struggle to reach this decision.

AB ...

I saw in one of the blog pasal blood time .. and check my own.. Somehow this sentence best describe myself...

"You are passionate in your beliefs, but you also want to be liked by others and this can create conflicts."

'TYPE AB'
Type AB often receives mixed messages about emotional health. While you tend to be drawn to other people and are friendly and trusting, there is a side of you that feels alienated from the larger community. At your best, you are intuitive and spiritual, with an ability to look beyond the rigid confines of society. You are passionate in your beliefs, but you also want to be liked by others and this can create conflicts. In an independent study, Type ABs described themselves as emotional, passionate, friendly, trusting and empathetic. Type ABs are considered some of the most interesting of the blood types, both John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe were Type ABs and although both are long gone, they hold a place in our national psyche to this day. Not surprisingly, ABs can be quite dualistic, possessing both A and B traits. You may be shy and outgoing, and hesitant and confident. You often stand out from others, don’t like labels, and are nice and easy going. You are logical and determined to do things correctly. Usually trustworthy, you like to help others. You often speak in a serious manner. Your patience, concentration, and intelligence are admirable. AB can find a soul mate with any other blood type. Common career choices: bartender, lawyer, teacher, sales representative, and social worker.
Blood Type AB - Tend to be very charming and popular. They don't sweat the small stuff and can be seen as spiritual and even at times a bit "flaky". Only about 2 - 5% of the population are blood type AB. There is never a dull moment in a AB's life, so if you find one for a friend, consider yourself lucky! Youll enjoy some exciting times together! Sometimes it is difficult to be an AB. AB's don't like to fit in anyone else's "boxes". If they feel too confined, they'll break out of that box and do things their own way.

And sedihhh.. kalau i keje kat japan.. ppl wont hire me..

"AB is considered the worst blood type. In predictability-loving Japan, they're loose cannons. They also like to set their own conditions and reserve the right to drop out when things don't meet their expectations. They're known to be sensitive and considerate—at times—but it just isn't enough to balance out the flaws in this blood type. For a while, some companies tried dividing their employees into work groups based on blood type, and no one wanted to work with the AB group."

Changing job not yet line

To add to my 2010 stuff that I do... finally I decided to change company after 5 years at the same group. My last day will be end of June. I'm not sure if it a good move or not. The last few weeks I'm in my confused zone as there is so many ppl talk to me with different view. I gave them my reason and I think I gave everyone of them might different2 reason depends on my mood & my thought that time. All of the reason I gave them is true but one might weight more than the others. Depends on my mood of the day, the weight will be different...heehehe. Most of the time, all of them regards me as someone who know what she want , have some BIG plan ahead but the truth is .. I just simply want to change. I'm not sure if I'll like what I'll be doing next but it didnt sound bad. I dont want to move to next project in my group as just by thinking of working in that project make me MALAS & irritated. I dont want to trap in this mode. The only option is for me to move. My current project is good & I kind of kesian to them also that I leave it before it really end. But I know, it just a matter of time before I'll be suck into next project.

Anyway .. among all those ppl who talk to me.. there is one manager that I respect most although it the first time I talk to him & he nearly make me change my decision. I think Malaysia need more people like him. Maybe next time i shared what he has talk to me... sebab mau tido..

Insha Allah

saw abt Maher Zain kat taha's facebook status & somehow I landed in this song. A very deep meaning song. Sometimes aku rasa it is easy when you feel you in darkness or lost or at the down side sebab you will try to find the lights. It is a curse for people who feel nothing or comfortable in their life. Will never occured to them to find the lights.. They will just lost in their own world. I think i'm in the second group. I start to feel comfortable with my life.. it has been routine. I stop doing my reading & searching as i too overwhelm with the world comfortness. It scary..

Death

I feel disturbed... my neighbour passed away hari ni. Baru je hari ahad dia tegur cakap kena makan yg sihat kalau nak hidup lama. Jgn makan ajinomoto, kicap etc... but he already gone. Time & death wait for nobody... Rasa sedih jugak bila pikir parents sendiri..

kiss the A**

hahahaha ... i was laughing bila baca news ni...

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2010/4/11/nation/6034796&sec=nation

wonder how the boy got such idea... Anyway .. ironic nya .. the same boy if he got no Yang mulia, xkan dilayan utk buat lawatan.. x kan direspect sampai nak panggil state assembly.. wont get the privillege he got masa visit tu .. but yet because a letter, he was treated differently..

chase your dream

hari ni lepak ngn member kat jemputree. We talking2 .. and tetiba termasuk cete masa zaman sekolah. One of my friend yg gi US, dia cete la that she was lucky being chosen as her english wasnt that good back then. Tiba2 teringat zaman sekolah. Ppl who know me since sekolah sure ingat yg my english was very very bad. I can't speak english for conversation at all. ( ye la ni pun x le english berabuk but at least somebody can understand what i try to say in office). After trial, there are a lots of big2 company yg datang to my school cari candidate utk scholarship. As my trial result was ok so my name was on the interview list. Masa tu ada proton, esso, pnb, sime darby, telekom .. and many more. i attend those interview but as expected i didnt impress them at all. Ye la dah la senyap.. x pandai cakap lak. Really feel down masa tu. My "down" peak was when i got interview for petronas. Masa tu after SPM so the interview was held in Johor. Ada 5 org kot in each session n mix with other ppl. Apa lagi .. memang x bercakap la. I just ternganga tgk org cakap. I can't even think what to say. I really cry after that and rasa memang xde harapan nak blaja oversea. Anyway after SPM result keluar, I got a letter from Mara. They just introduce SPC and they selecting ppl utk program tu so they ask me to go for briefing. Masa tu aku dah dapat offer UTM. Deep down in my heart I want to further my study kat oversea tapi dek kerana pengalaman silam interview, i didnt go to the briefing. There are time that i'm asking .. what IF i go for the briefing but I always make excuses that UTM might be the best choice for me and masa tu dah bayar yuran UTM la .. Tiba2 hari ni it struck me that my BIG regret is for NOT trying to chase my dream. I got the opportunity but i back off before I even know the result sebab takut kan failure. It is no harm if I attend the briefing. I may not get in ( maybe the only girl yg x dapat) but at least I have try. I might still go to UTM but at least I went to UTM after i went through the SPC path.. but what I did i make a u turn.. :(. Looking back, I was like that all the time. Am I too vulnerable that I'm afraid of failure. What if i fail for the first, second, third or even zillionth time.. Am my pride is too high that it hurt to get a failure. I hope I can change and I really glad that I found my BIG regret today as I can't find any excuses of this regret... So I should not do it again as I know there is no excuses....

Blind side

emm sgt suke la cete blind side ni. Sedih n terharu. I wonder if i able to do like what Leigh Anne buat kat big Mike. Malas nak tulis summary so i copy & paste.. see it if you have time..

Based on the true story of Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy who take in a homeless teenage African-American, Michael "Big Mike" Oher. Michael has no idea who is father is and his mother is a crack head. Michael has had little formal education and few skills to help him learn. Leigh Anne soon takes charge however, as is her nature, ensuring that the young man has every opportunity to succeed. When he expresses an interest in football, she goes all out to help him, including giving the coach a few ideas on how best to use Michael's skills. They not only provide him with a loving home, but hire a tutor to help him improve his grades to the point where he would qualify for an NCAA Division I athletic scholarship. Michael Oher was the first-round pick of the Baltimore Ravens in the 2009 NFL draft

contact lens

This few week, saya telah mentry pakai contact lens. Motif ? Sebab nak pakai sunglasses besar beli gi redang .. hahahah ( i loike my new sunglasses). Ye ..mcm poyokan .. but cita2 saya nak jadi vogue dalam masa 5 tahun ... ( uhhh ..tapi half year has gone tapi cam xde apa2 vogue d boom :( ). anyway masa gi kenduri kawan, aku pakai la contact lens tu n ada lah gambar yg diambik. I showed to my sis photo yg telah ku zoom ke bahagian muka.. tanya dia dia pelik x mata aku. Tau la kan.. beli org yg sokmo pakai spec tukar ke lense, we have the tendency of mata terjojol.. so my sister tgk n dia cakap.. ha ah.. pelik. mcm hidung k.mah nak terkuar.. she said .. weird but maybe after sometimes will be ok. then after tu dia dok belik gambar2 dalam kamera aku n said " emm.. adik rasa k.mah x yah risau mata k.mah weird .. i think perut k.mah lagi pelik... ppl will see your tummy more than your face." .. DANGGGGG... siott kan..

She who stranded in the airport

Yeah .. balik kg. I buy the ticket quite long time ago with just RM18 :). Murah kan... lebih murah dari bus. But my sister ada class until 5pm so terpaksa la membuang masa kat airport. Luckyly they dont have much shop in JB airport else terpaksa la membuang duit jugak. Tapi xpe, I have a few serious Korean drama utk dihabiskan .. else boleh gak mensurvey what thing to buy in US. Btw not I'm going to US but someone I know are going .. and the weird thing I plak yg lebih excited kan.

Sebenarnya tujuan utama aku memblog, selain dari tgh tunggu vlc download adalah utk mengumpat.. hehehhe .. in front of me ada family. 3 of them. parents and a son ( high school boy). Mak dia cakap non-stop sehhh.. dari aku duduk kat coffee bean ni sampai chicken pie dah nak abis .. mak dia bercakap je. Aku tgk ayah n anak dia senyap je .. mcm xde response je. at a point mcm rasa diorang dah boring plak.. boleh x? Curious aku nak tau apa yg diceritakan.. perlukah aku dok tepi dorang? I wonder .. adakah aku cam makcik tu bile dah tua? but I notice I talk a lot too...

Last 2 days keluar makan ngn member aku. So we are talking abt lots of thing and salah satunya pasal life was unfair. But somehow I dont think life was unfair. We just refuse to see at both side. Some ppl just see what they didnt have and what other ppl have while some just see what they have and what other ppl dont. Of course this cause the inbalance. Sometimes when we see a poor family and they have retarded son, kita akan pity to them.. rasa life wasnt unfair to them. But not many ppl know that the retarded son might give them some happiness that hard to explain by normal mind. Kat tempat kitorang mengajar, there is a dylexia kid. He was very slow but yet he the one yg left the most laugh among us. The one yg diperkatakan banyak and they one that motivate us to go again. Apa yg aku nak cakap, anything that happen in our life although theoritically we get less than other people, but there is always a hidden gift behind that. A lots of ppl yg masa kecik having difficulty in life either poor or broken family or less love etc, end up menjadi a better person bila dah besar. They learn to be more compassion , appreaciate thing, sensitive to others and high tolerate to others. Although there are some goes to stray path tapi mika2 tu adalah ppl who blame life was unfair. Who refuse to see what they actually have. Who just live in the past. We can't have a future without a past but yet we can't have a future either if we stay in the past.
Life works in its mystery sebab I felt human itself is a mystery creature. When same things happens to 2 different ppl, you can't exactly know what the end result for both of them as both will react differently.

2010 updates ...

i just like how 2010 start.... I been to swimming classs... yeahh . Although x pandai berenang lagi but i like the feeling. At least now I can jump in the pool without fear of having my head dlm air. Suka suka suka... With a few friends .. I start a jogging habit which sekarang just buat seminggu sekali sebab project peak & the swimming thing... So whats motivate me?? heheheh maybe hving a few friends yg into swimming and also into jogging. Furthermore ini adalah preparation utk gi ke redang... yeahhh .. redang here I come..

In the office plak, my old bos is leaving to US.. so maybe its a good time for me to make a move to different dept or even different company.. and my 5 years plan down to the road ( of course not politic or career).... Saya nak jadik VOGUE... hahahah boleh x? Anyway to achieve my vogue plan, I went to buy a few eye make up which actually just eyeliner & mascara.. tapi.. uhuhu sungguh sedih. The day I wearing it in the office, my colleague ask me if I'm sick because of my eyes... uhuhu boleh ke jadi vogue ni. Maybe I just not meant to .. hahahhahah.

Anyway .. i also found something that I want to do for my future.. I dont want to stuck in industry .. and i dont want to be lecturer either.. so i decided.... (drum rollls... ) i want to open my own pre-school. A pre-school that I have the freedom to paint the kids like my own kids... La ni i dah start teaching a few kids to read in our GBS project but it takes lots of effort to actually come out with the best way to approach kids. especially budak2 yg baru buat "A" satu baris dah xde mood.. I still thinking HOWTO make them interested .. and HOWTO not make me angry... hahahha.. I'm waving goodbye to 2009 which such a down year to me.. so many down thing happens at work, life, family and even love. I hope 2010 will brings a lots of up, spicy, juicy and looking forward for it... :).

**credit to a friend yg selalu motivate me utk try benda baru and experience the life.

Racist

i saw a status from sumai.. i think it really interesting. It has been really clear what has God told us .. but yet we are still divided... and like to be divided. Thing that wasn't in quran was more important than this ayat.

To thee We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the Truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way. If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to Allah. it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute 5:48